Just Friends

Dear Jamie,

when we're together,

I feel like we're

not in high school,

but in our own little

Chris-andJamie world.

Whether we're watching

"Party of Five"

or practicing our cheers,

I feel like I can

just be myself.

Jamie, we've been friends

for a really long time,

but I want to be

more than that.

Oops! I don't think so.

Hoping to be

your boyfriend.

Sincerely, Chris Brander.

BFF!

I swear

By the moon and the stars

in the skies

I'll be there,

yeah

And I swear

Like a shadow

that's by your side

I'll be there

For better or worse...

- Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!

- Till death do us part...

- Get out of my room!

- Mom!

Stupid! Anybody ever hear

of privacy around here?!

- I swear

- You're the homo.

Jamie!

Yeah, I signed

your yearbook.

Oh, you feel the same

way about me?

Oh, you want a kiss?

Jamie,

I signed your yearbook.

Jamie,

I'm opening your gate.

What's up, guys?

- Class of '95.

- Mm-mm.

Hey, what's up, Leon, Trevor?

Great season. Great.

I love you.

- Hey, guys.

- Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen!

- Happy graduation, Chris.

- What's going on?

I thought it was supposed to be

just the four of us.

The Palaminos decided

to throw Jamie

- a surprise graduation party.

- Oh, that's just great!

- Tonight's the night.

- Where is she?

I think I saw her go in the garage

with the football team.

- Sweet.

- Hey. No fear, Chris, huh? This is your

- chance to get out of the "friend zone."

- Yeah.

- Huh?

- Okay.

... for hip hop

this is hip hop for today

I give props to hip hop,

so hip hop hooray...

Jamie.

- Chris!

- Yay!

You came, finally!

I'm so happy.

Oh, come on,

come on!

Oh my God,

we graduated!

Whoo!

- God.

- Yeah.

What's up?

There's something I've been

meaning to say to you.

Jamie!

There you are.

- Hey, Tim.

- Shut up, chubs.

Funny guy!

Jamie...

- will you sign my yearbook, please?

- Can I do it later, Tim?

Can I do you later?

I need a beer!

I can't believe...

- I went out with him.

- You went out with him.

Jinx! 1-2-34-5-6-7, can't say

a thing till I say...

Come in.

- Oh, hi. Hi, Jamie.

- Hey, Dusty.

I was hoping

I'd find you here.

I didn't know

you played guitar.

L-I r-really...

- I really want to be a famous musician.

- Huh.

And, um,

I wrote you a song.

He wrote me a song!

That's so cute.

It's called

"Jamie Smiles."

Aw.

When Jam...

Hold on.

When Jamie...

He's crazy.

When Jamie...

God damn it!

Come on, Dusty!

Dusty, come here.

Maybe you should come back

another time when you're...

- Oh, no, I got it.

- You can come back

and then play it

for us later, okay?

- I really... I've got it. It's beautiful.

- Yeah.

- It is.

- Bye, Dusty.

Jesus.

Yeah.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I got you a little

something right here.

Okay. Now I know

it's a little dorky,

but I had to do it.

So look at it.

Will you put it

on for me?

- Now?

- Please, please? Put it on.

- Okay. Quickly.

- Okay okay okay okay.

- I think it's gonna fit.

- Yeah.

- Let's see.

- Okay.

- Here we go.

- Okay.

It's a little snug.

Oh my God,

isn't that so cute?

"Shakes come and go,

but friends are

furrr-ever!"

That's adorable!

Let's go show my mom.

She'll love it. Let's go

show her. Come on.

- Let's not. No no. Come on.

- Chris, she's gonna love it!

Just... just wait.

- Just... we're busy!

- Chris, are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine.

I just...

I signed your yearbook.

Um...

read it...

please.

Okay.

Please, God.

"Stud muffin, getting it on

in your love truck was hot!"

- Oh!

- Wait! That's not what I wrote!

This is Tim's yearbook.

- Chris?

- Oh my God!

Listen to this.

Listen to this.

"When we're together,

I feel"...

- Gimme!

- "Like we're not in high school, but we're

- in our own Chris-andJamie little world."

- Tim... okay.

Okay.

- "You're my best friend..."

- Please, don't read that.

"But I want to be

more than that"?

Ooh!

"Hoping to be

your boyfriend.

Sincerely, Chris Brander,

BFF."

It's a joke! That's a joke

between me and Jamie!

Holy sh*t!

Check out his shirt!

Aw, he's gonna cry.

See ya!

G'bye, fatty!

Chris!

Try a salad!

- Chris!

- Leave me alone!

Don't worry about it.

It happens to everybody.

Chris! We need to talk

about what you wrote.

Is that really

how you feel?

I don't know.

Maybe. Why?

Because that's the nicest thing

anyone's ever written me.

It was?

Yes.

I love you, Chris...

- like a brother.

- Hmm?

- We're friends, right?

- For sure!

Ah, you p*ssy!

Shut up, Tim!

Don't you people have anything

better to do?!

God! Just leave

him alone!

You jerks!

- I'll show you!

- Ooh!

I'll show all of you!

This town

is full of losers

and I'm pulling

out to win!

Chris!

Chris, come back!

- My name is Chris Brander!

- Chris, let's talk!

You remember that name!

'Cause I'm gonna be somebody!

I don't know what to say.

I mean,

the sex is good,

but I'm a person too.

I mean, I have

feelings and needs

other than

just physical!

Don't you have anything

to say for yourself?

I think you've pretty much

said it all.

You know what?

This just isn't working out.

Have a great life,

'cause Athena's out!

I don't know why you

just don't take me serious!

Wow!

I guess Athena's out.

God, can you

believe that?

I get dumped four days

before Christmas.

- I saw.

- Yeah, and yet, you did nothing.

Technically, that makes you

an accomplice.

Guilty as charged.

You know, in some cultures

they'd spank you for that.

Oh, I love to travel.

- Chris Brander.

- I'm Mandy.

Of course you are. You know,

I know a song called "Mandy."

Oh!

He shoots, he scores.

- Nice, nice!

- Yeah, Brander! Great job, Brander!

You're the bad bunny.

No. No, that's you.

You're the bad bunny.

Yeah.

Okay, that's enough

out of you.

Next time you call me,

you call me collect.

Okay. Bye-bye.

- So how'd it go last night?

- Home by 10:
00.

Pants off in front

of the computer by 10:01.

Nice. What about Sheila?

Are you making any headway?

We'll see. I'm taking her

to lunch today...

Oh, whoa, whoa whoa.

Don't... don't do that.

- Okay? Don't do lunch.

- Why?

That's like the express lane

to the friend zone.

What the hell's

the friend zone?

See when a girl decides

that you're her friend,

you're no longer

a dating option.

You become a complete

non-sexual entity in her eyes,

like her brother.

Or a lamp.

I don't want

to be a lamp.

Yeah. Well, then don't be

her friend, okay?

Oh. Take that guy,

for example.

- You mean that couple?

- No no no.

No, I mean the guy that

wishes they were a couple.

- What is your point?

- My point is...

call Sheila, Ray.

Call her right now.

Move your day date

to tonight.

Play the entire thing aloof and no matter

what you do, kiss her at the end.

- 'Cause friends don't kiss.

- All right. "Aloof."

Hi.

- Straight to voicemail.

- Ouch.

Hope you're not too late.

You may already be girlfriends.

- Really? How will I know?

- Look. It doesn't matter, okay?

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