Justice League Dark Page #2

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Now we know someone doesn't

want us asking questions.

Looks like you've cracked it

wide open, mate.

What did he say?

Uh-uh. I'm not playing

telephone between you two.

We online?

Great.

Sorry about the Batmobile.

I hope your insurance

was paid up.

What, is there even a policy

for something like that?

Mmm.

Hey, I told you not to do that, orchid.

Use a bloody door.

I am glad to see you are well.

How new is this one?

Not what you think.

It's the magic of the house.

Decided it wanted to experience

humanity and gave itself a body.

It sure did.

A spirit whose existence

is not its own, like myself.

Interesting.

Um, yeah, we are that.

Dead smooth you are, mate.

Hey, it's been a while,

you know?

Powerful in true magic.

Angry at John.

This, I understand.

Yet you still have

feelings for him.

I could kill him.

You exude pain.

Your life is a patchwork of

blackness with no time for joy.

How do you cope with it?

I have a Butler.

That was enlightening.

Well, I guess we should have

that chinwag about now.

- Demons!

- It's not me!

I've given birth to the devil.

It's the...

Rama Kushna says this will break

down the walls between the planes.

Even the afterlife

will be affected.

Yeah, it's dodgy, all right.

I'll look into it.

Meanwhile, the house will

drop you wherever you'd like.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Rama says

we have to work together.

Come on! It's a dream team.

You, me, Zatanna, Batman,

maybe even the justice league.

The capes and tights crew,

useless against dark magic.

That's why we need you.

You can lead us.

Boston, do I strike you as a team player?

Much less a team leader.

Point is,

even deities can get it wrong.

It's how we got the appendix,

neanderthals and reality TV.

Z, your help I could use.

Okay, if we do it as a group.

This is the monkey cage

in Sumatra all over again.

"Ooh, we need to save

the monkeys," she said.

You're such an ass.

Oh, not the monkeys.

Says the man who has Newcastle and

100 other screw-ups on his resume,

costing lives and souls.

But not monkeys. You're still

way ahead on dead monkeys.

- They used to be a thing.

- Mmm.

You just have to make things...

We're wasting time.

He's dead,

and I accept the risks,

so can we get to it,

or do you two need a timeout?

Fine and dandy. Let's take a

walk on the dark side then.

Coming, team?

Stop being a child

and slow down.

Where are we going?

Ritchie's.

Have you talked to him lately?

I know he's pissed. You

don't have to remind me, love.

It's on my CV, remember?

No, really, has he told you...

Oh, no. He's dying.

John Constantine,

purveyor of the dark arts

and lifeline of last resort.

No matter. Your friend's soul

will be collected,

and there's nothing you can do

to alter that.

Why don't you go do something

useful, like haunt a house?

Who's he talking to now?

Shrouds.

They deliver souls to hell.

They're drawn to you.

Maybe it's your Cologne, batsy.

This one has cheated us

many times.

It is vexing.

Boo.

This has been lovely, but it's

time for you lot to bugger off.

When the time comes, I'll be the one

to collect your soul, Constantine.

Yeah, yeah.

I thought I felt

a disturbance in the force.

How you doing, Johnny boy?

Zatanna and Batman?

What the hell?

Tell you

everything inside, mate.

You poor thing.

Yeah, I may have lied

the last time we talked,

about exactly how fast

I'm sledding downhill.

I'm sorry about that.

But it means

a lot you're here, John.

And, hey, you don't have

to say it. You're forgiven.

Still wondering what Batman's

doing in my living room.

And when is he

gonna shut up, right?

What? What's with the face?

You're not here to say

you're sorry, are you?

Of course I am,

but I was looking to borrow

the Keshanti key as well.

Unbelievable.

I tried to tell him on the way.

Yeah, it's not your fault, Z.

Just like everything, this is

rock star Johnny's fault.

I was with you

when it happened, Ritchie.

We were side by side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, side by side.

But I got the weird magical cancer

while you, you added to your rep.

Isn't that right?

Look, me not making proper

amends isn't related to the key,

which, truth be told,

you're not gonna need, mate.

John!

Getting that a lot lately.

You can go screw yourself.

I am not giving you crap.

Your anger is understandable,

but you need to reconsider.

Innocent lives are at stake.

Well, doctors say

an upbeat attitude can help,

so what I'll focus on today

is that I met Batman.

Force of good.

It was also nice

seeing you, Zatanna.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

You can show yourselves out.

This him?

Father of the year.

I'll need the gear now.

How does this work?

It's basically

a magical shortcut.

It lets me access

different planes of existence

without doing 20-odd hours

of incantations.

In this case, I'll poke around this poor

sod's memories to see how his madness began

and, more importantly,

what caused it.

What are you doing here?

I'm calling security.

I'll make sure the looky-loos

stay out of our hair.

Z, give me a psychic shout if

this body comes under attack.

Wouldn't do to be trapped

inside, now.

Wouldn't do to go in alone,

and since I'm right here...

Too dangerous.

You're out of practice, love.

Look, you wanted me along.

I'm here.

I'm not waiting in the wings.

Let's do this.

Mmm.

Hmm.

- Z? You okay?

I'm fine.

I've never

liked this sort of magic.

I can feel darkness seeping

inside me.

How you stand it is beyond me.

It's all about control. If

you ever need a refresher...

We've had this conversation.

I haven't changed my mind.

Sure, sit out the war

between good and evil.

After all, you've got a good thing going

being applauded by mindless twits.

Really? Now?

Good a time as ever, I reckon.

- I'll teach you to talk back.

- No!

The magic I perform

brings people happiness.

You sure it's not

the two drink minimum, love?

You're such a pessimist.

Wrong. I expect the worst,

so I prepare for the worst,

and when the worst happens,

I'm ready.

But my outlook doesn't alter

the reality of the world.

Steven, stop!

Leave me alone!

Another precious moment.

There was joy, too.

His madness swept it away.

Who dropped the bed pan?

This is it. This was the

morning of his madness.

What do you think

will set him off?

My guess is the sudoku.

He's got two 9s in the same row.

John.

Run! Run! Run!

Run! Let's get out of here!

Oh, come on, fellow.

Eat a piece of fruit, huh?

Damn it!

Here it is.

We've got to get out of here.

One more second.

Now, John. There's no time.

Got it.

Oh! Sh*t's really hit the fan.

You had to go there, Boston.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Hmm.

- I don't recognize it.

- Me, neither.

But if there's a person alive

who can, it's Ritchie.

Are you forgetting when you

made your friend despise you?

This is too bloody important

for hurt feelings.

Constantine.

Bollocks.

You've arrived in time

to witness my...

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