Justice League vs. Teen Titans

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1

This is Angela Chen reporting live

from the site of a massive battle

between the Justice League and a

group of what can only be described

as super-villains calling

themselves the Legion of Doom.

Reports state that earlier,

the Legion launched a surprise attack

on the League at the unveiling

of their new headquarters,

dubbed by many on social media

as "The Hall of Justice."

- (SNARLING)

- (GRUNTING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(WHIRRING)

(SCREAMS)

Is this any way to treat

your guests, Superman?

Seeing as how you crashed the party,

I'd consider us even.

Oh!

- (GRUNTING)

- (SNARLING)

What happened,

Toymaster?

Did Mama kick you

out of the basement?

Hmph.

(STRAINING)

Grundy smash!

(ROARING)

- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

- (SCREAMING)

(CLATTERING)

Grundy sleep now.

Robin, report.

How's crowd control?

(WHOOSHING)

(GRUNTS) Huh?

Well at hand, Father. As predicted,

they respond like contemptible sheep.

Surrender, Cheetah.

This doesn't have

to end in violence.

(SNARLING)

(GRUNTING)

Aah!

You're smarter

than this, Luthor.

Your kind attracts their kind.

I'm simply an innocent industrialist

caught in the middle.

I'll bet.

You'll pay for this.

Knowing you, it's insured.

Huh?

Beep, beep.

Huh?

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Not in the face.

Whatever you say.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

(YELPING)

Playtime's over, Toymaster.

TOYMASTER:
But I enjoy

a good game.

And I always win.

- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

- (SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

Good work, team.

Too bad Shazam and Lantern

had to miss the fun.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Slackers.

(GROANING)

FLASH:
We got a runner.

Aah!

- (GROWLING)

- (SCREAMING)

Come on, Wizard,

don't make me hit you again.

Uh, Wiz?

(DISTORTED VOICE)

Azarath calls,

the child must answer.

The hour of his rising

is at hand.

Oh, boy.

I've got this.

(LOUD BOOM)

(GROANS)

Hmm. What the hell

did he hit me with?

Himself, apparently.

(ROARING)

He's not using any tech.

It's magic.

Argh!

(WIND HOWLING)

SUPERMAN:
Get them to safety.

I'll keep him distracted.

(RATTLING)

Argh!

Argh!

(ROARING)

Robin, get all civilians

inside, do you read me?

I have a more efficient way

to keep them safe, Father.

BATMAN OVER RADIO: Robin?

Robin, I gave you a task.

Yes, as a human cattle prod.

I'm being under-utilized.

BATMAN:
What's your location?

ROBIN:
Where I need to be.

In the driver's seat.

Between the missile

and fuel cell detonations,

I'd estimate at least

a three kiloton hit.

(BEEPING)

Target locked.

Damian, stand down.

Too late now.

(WHOOSHING)

(GRUNTING)

(DISTORTED YELLING)

WONDER WOMAN:
Stand down!

(GRUNTING)

The lasso compels you

to obey my command!

(GROANING)

What happened?

He doesn't know.

I thought that would knock

the fight out of him.

What? We got him, didn't we?

What we have is an empty shell

with no answers.

If you had followed orders and done

what you're told, we'd know more.

SUPERMAN:
Come on,

cut him some slack.

At least, he was trying to...

Not that I disagree.

You buried me in a worthless

position to keep me out of the way.

And I solved

the entire problem.

This isn't about you.

It's about teamwork.

All I see is a lot

of ineffectual grandstanding.

Which is why I prefer

to work alone.

(SCOFFS) And my dad

thinks I'm difficult.

Have you ever considered

boarding school?

I could've driven myself.

After the stunt you pulled?

You're lucky to be allowed within

10 feet of a steering wheel.

(ENGINE REVVING)

So, this is my punishment?

Enduring a bunch

of school children?

This is not punishment.

Hopefully, you'll learn

to be a part of a team.

And they're not children.

They're teenagers.

Worse.

Don't tell me Damian Wayne is

afraid of a little socializing.

I'm not afraid of anything.

Teammates are a liability.

Really?

Then what am I to you?

An unavoidable irritation.

(GRUNTING)

(BLEATING)

(ROARING)

(ROARS)

You were having

a nightmare last night.

I was just wondering

if everything's...

Look, I appreciate your concern, I guess.

But they're dreams.

Just dreams.

You know you're naked, right?

Huh?

Aah!

I overslept. Was rushing.

Forgot to put on my uniform. Okay?

So I sleep in the nude. So what?

Animals are naked.

I'm the entire animal kingdom crammed

into a single magnificent specimen.

You're something crammed

into something.

(PULSATING)

What did that thing just say?

It was just laughing at you.

Yeah, well, butt out, bug.

(SNARLING)

Yow! Keep that thing

on a leash, man!

I told you, don't annoy it.

STARFIRE:
Jaime's right.

That scarab is not a pet.

It may be fused

to Jaime's spine,

but it's not exactly

under his control.

It's like you and your pants.

That's why Jaime's here.

That's why we're all here.

To help each other

control our gifts.

Help one another

become our best selves.

Where else are we gonna go?

I mean, we're a bunch of freaks, right?

Come on, Jaime, we're all family.

Like the Three Amigos.

Four.

STARFIRE:
Five.

We're getting a visitor.

Try not to behead anyone.

- Nightwing.

- Starfire.

It's been awhile.

I know.

You're looking good.

This is Damian.

The new Robin.

Welcome, Damian.

I'll be in my room.

- Would you like to...

- I think I can manage.

That is one creepy mocoso.

No, more like sad.

Yeah, I was thinking a movie might be nice.

Just you and me.

No men in tights.

That sounds nice.

By the way, I bought

some new glasses.

You might not recognize me.

I'm sure I'll be able

to pick you out

no matter what you're wearing.

See you soon.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(WHOOSHING)

Hello?

If this is a prank,

you're screwing with the wrong guy.

(CLANGING)

(GRUNTING)

Hah!

BLUE BEETLE:
He hasn't stopped

for an hour and a half.

(SWORDS CLANGING)

Damian, it's time

to let others have their turn.

(GRUNTS)

I'm not finished.

Hah!

(MACHINE POWERS DOWN)

Gee, how'd that happen?

(SIZZLING)

What the hell?

Hmph, I heard your tech

was fast.

I wanted to see how fast.

Don't mess with us,

little man.

All right.

I can see we are getting off

on the wrong foot.

Damian, this is a team effort.

We need to be willing

to accommodate others.

Nightwing said

you were a princess.

Exiled, no doubt.

Technically, it was a coup.

And like it or not,

I am the leader of this group.

As I see it, you're an alien

with nowhere else to go.

Everyone needs a home, Damian.

You included.

Thank you for chiming in,

witch girl.

We are only here to help you

realize your potential.

You've been here long enough.

When do you think

you'll realize yours?

Dude, you need

to show some respect.

- Argh!

- (GRUNTING)

Oh, no.

Ready when you are.

No, stop this.

Hah!

Who's fighting me,

you or the bug?

You'd better hope it's me.

(GRUNTING)

(GROWLS)

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

ROBIN:
That's the difference

between you and me.

You wear a weapon.

I am a weapon.

- (POWERING UP)

- BLUE BEETLE:
No!

Aah!

(GRUNTS)

Enough!

BLUE BEETLE:

I tried to stop it.

Dios mio. Is he dead?

He's still alive. Barely.

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