Kajaki Page #4

---

Kenny, you mucker

mark the safe route in,

clear the area around Stu.

Check your immediate space, fellas.

Stand only on proven safe route.

Jonesy get on Athens, check on cas evac.

- Right, Stuart...

Stick your ball...

ball your hand on my fist, yeah?

Dave.

Nobody else in or out without

my say so, buddy, alright?

What's our call sign?

Kilo Two Bravo, mate.

But you won't get any response from that one.

- Just f***ing try it!

Hello Kilo Five, this is Kilo Two.

Bravo, over.

Hello Kilo Five, this is Kilo Two Bravo.

Radio check, over.

Always get the crap jobs, eh, Ken.

Down the wadi. Follow the goat track.

We got comms.

Hey, radio check when you're in.

Alright lads, this isn't working, we need to get that

bergen underneath his knee, keep it elevated, yeah.

Smudge?

- Ah, cool.

Let's get this med pack

underneath his head, Jarhead.

Yeah, just watch his spine, pal.

- Cheers.

Tanning tips for redheads, eh?

Woah, woah, woah, woah wait.

I think I found something.

No, it's just a rock.

Jesus, Ken.

Hey, hey...

- I'm sorry lads, I'm sorry.

Come on, listen. It's important

that we clear the rocks out as well.

You know, in case we want to come down

and plant some f***ing cabbages one day.

Right, Stu. Looks like you might

have a break above the knee.

Nothing I can do now, but I've given you

another stick of morphine, yeah?

I know it chafes

but you're not dying today, yeah.

You're a strong f***er,

you're gonna be alright.

Onto the f***ing paperwork.

Oi, Tug.

- Yes, mate.

Give us a fag, would you mate?

Mate, just one f***ing bine.

What's it gonna do?

Blow my other f***ing leg off?

Huh?

You f***ing legend, mate.

I won't tell on you

if you don't tell on me.

Stable down here, Mark.

How we doing on cas evac?

Nobody else in, mate.

I've got comms from Normandy.

The medic can come in,

Dave, no one else.

Be my guest.

Marked route, pal.

You're Kilo Five Bravo

Spud's Kilo Five Alpha

and Normandy's Kilo Two.

Cheers, pal.

Alex, how are you for fluids, pal?

Hello Kilo Five Alpha,

this is Kilo Five Bravo, Over.

RADIO:
Kilo Five Alpha,

what's the status on casualty, over.

Corporal Hale is P one.

Stable but needs immediate evac, Spud.

RADIO:
Can casualty be moved

to Normandy for evac? Over.

Wait out. Medics, can we carry him out?

- Well, he's stable when he's flat.

At an angle there's a chance

he could bleed out or bleed in.

We need a winch, pal.

- That's what I've been saying.

We've got a stretcher.

We should have enough

bodies to keep him level.

Have you seen how f***ing steep it is?

- Just cut the corner, go up the re-entrant.

No way are we leaving the path.

I'm saying stick tight, wait here

for the heli. That's my opinion.

Mark, what you thinking?

We need to pull him away from the rocks.

Get him in the open.

There, the raised bank.

Alright.

Right lads, listen up.

I need two bodies to help clear a route over there.

- RADIO:
Kilo Five Alpha, send, over.

Kilo Five Bravo, preparing to move.

Tidy, step in.

I want youse on your belt buckles,

shoulder to shoulder.

I'm gonna follow youse with the flags.

RADIO:

Roger. Wait out.

Come on, lads, let's f***ing move.

You're seeing this?

Kilo Two to Kilo Five Alpha.

Taliban movement on the six one one.

RADIO:

Might be headed your way.

RADIO:

Roger Kilo Two, keep your eyes on it.

Kilo Five Alpha to all call signs. Be advised,

enemy movement in the vicinity of Tangi.

Possible threat to Kilo Five Bravo position.

Wait out.

I might as well be prodding

a f***ing car park.

At least if it's this hard they won't

detonate if you walk over 'em.

I don't think that's how it work.

One here, boss.

Just mark it buddy and then deviate.

So I killed lots of people but I'm not a soldier?

- Correct.

Killed myself?

- Yeah, um. Hanged yourself, I think.

What am I some kind of

f***ing serial killer or something?

Correct.

- F***ing prick.

Oi, same again barman, yeah?

How many's he had now?

That's his third.

Stu?

- Huh?

You got a bleed on

on the left leg, mate.

Nothing major.

Just gonna tie you off, pal, alright?

Better safe...

Am I... Er... Am I Fred West?

- No.

This is the last from Normandy.

- Nice one, Prosser.

Cheers Jonesy.

I'm alive?

- No.

Kilo Five Bravo,

ETA on cas evac, over.

RADIO:

Wait out.

Look out.

RADIO:
Kilo Five inbound.

ETA on task one zero minutes. Over.

Confirm minutes one zero. Over.

RADIO:

Confirm. Wait out.

You hear that, Stu? Ten minutes, pal.

What they sending, Mark?

They'll send what they send.

They gonna touch down or...

Tug, we'll work it out, f***.

Stu!

Path safe.

Alright. Moving day, gents.

- Right.

You, you, you and you on Stu.

You guys grab anything that's left.

Strong grip. My count, on three.

One, two, three.

Strain. One, two, three.

- Here we go.

Oi, somebody get my rifle.

Cheers, mucker.

- Yeah, I've got it, mate.

That alright?

- Yeah.

Here, Jonesy, give us your bergen, pal.

You alright up there, Stu?

- Hmm-mm.

Ah, like the Maharajah of Helmand Province,

aren't you.

You want to peel me a grape?

Nah, but I've got a couple

of ripe plums here, if you want.

LAUGHS:

Kilo Five Bravo to Kilo Five Alpha.

Casualty moved to pick-up point.

ETA on cas evac. Over.

WHITE NOISE:

Hello Kilo Five Alpha,

this is Kilo Five Bravo. Over.

Do you need anything else?

RADIO:
Kilo Two to Kilo Five Bravo.

Your man's on the TACSAT to the JOC.

Cas evac options are fluid, believe we have Black

Hawks inbound to you from Kandahar. Wait out.

Job guys.

Cas evac inbound.

I need overwatch

from all of you, got that?

Stretcher bearers and Tug stay with Stu.

All other personnel, thank you for your help, boys,

and you can all f*** off now.

Cheers crap hat.

- Endex.

Oi.

Stuey, smile for the camera, buddy.

Stu.

- Hmm?

Fancy getting a photo?

- Alright.

Where's my bergen?

Oh, f***, sorry mate. I took it over there.

That's one for the khazi, that one.

- Stu!

Bring that other med bergen out

with you, yeah? - Will do.

You alright, Mark?

You smash those f***ers tonight, yeah?

Will do, buddy.

- Hmm.

With f***ing pleasure.

You faggots, stop flirting.

If you're the Russians, you know, seventy-nine,

eighty and you're defending Normandy...

Where'd you lay your APs?

Try not to f*** it up from here, aye?

- Dead ground on approaches to the OP.

Why, what's up?

- Dunno.

What the f*** are mines

doing down here, mate?

Oh, for f***'s sake.

Oh, f***. I'm down.

Lads I'm down.

GROANS:

F***. My leg. My f***ing leg!

Stu, wait, I'm coming.

- Jay, Smudge, get the f*** back!

Stand fast, Smudge,

the whole place is f***ing loaded.

I stood on a f***ing...

Safe route is not f***ing safe, man.

Ah, f***! Ah f***!

Let's go.

Somebody get me

some f***ing morphine.

Oh, f***. Ah f***. F*** off.

- It's alright, Stu.

Let me do my job, buddy. Let me do my job.

- Leave me! F***ing leave me!

Stuey... Stu.

- F***! F***ing hell.

Was it f***ing Stu?

- Come on. Come keep your sh*t together.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes