Kate and Leopold

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FADE IN:

INT. VICTORIAN ESTATE - 1895 - DAY

CLOSE UP:
Ornate antique GRANDFATHER CLOCK strikes 2:15.

The credits begin to roll.

Calligraphy place cards are painstakingly hand-written in

preparation for a formal reception.

Servants meticulously clean an elaborate crystal chandelier.

Hands rapidly shine silver cutlery.

Fresh flowers arranged in several enormous vases.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Kitchen clock strikes 2:15.

Poultry plucked. Feathers everywhere.

Steaming copper pots boiling over. Platters prepared with

decorative garnish.

Extravagant tiered cake is lavishly iced. A glob of frosting

enters a pair of puckered lips. The perpetrator, a fey,

pompous, HEAD VALET, seriously considers the texture and

flavor of the icing, then gives the PASTRY CHEF a withering,

sour look.

The valet, oblivious to the chef's fury, gathers a prepared

silver breakfast tray and checks his pocket watch. 2:15.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Antique bedside table clock -- just past 2:15. The valet

throws open velvet drapes, sunlight FLOODS the room revealing

a figure sleeping soundly in a massive oak framed bed. The

valet puts down the tray, pulls back the quilt.

The dozing figure gives the valet a deliberate, angry KICK.

Flinching infinitesimally, the valet crosses to the closet,

selects three suits and holds them up for inspection. From

beneath the puffiest of pillows, AN EYE reluctantly opens. A

weary arm points decisively to the riding outfit.

EXT. ESTATE - DAY

The riding outfit is adorned by LEOPOLD, Duke of Albany, a

dashing, virile man in his 30's. GALLOPING with great abandon,

he expertly leads his horse up hills and over hedges. He

sends gardeners shaping the grounds fleeing from his path.

In the background, lanterns are being strung throughout the

estate. Rugs are beaten out of open windows.

INT. HALLWAY - EVENING

Large hallway clock -- 6:15. A pair of boots track a freshly

scrubbed floor as Leopold heads carelessly up the stairway.

Three steps behind, the valet snaps his fingers signaling

the staff to clean up the mess.

SERIES OF CLOSE UPS

Gaudily framed portraits of somber relations.

A bird sits listless in a gilded cage.

Hot water is poured into a bath.

Carriages begin to arrive.

Orchestra leader signals the musicians to play.

Guests fill the ballroom in formal attire.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Leopold stares haughtily into a full length mirror.

He wears only dotted linen drawers and a black silk top hat

of the period. He flexes slightly. The valet hastily fastens

a corset around his mid-section from behind.

Leopold eyes his reflection seductively. He becomes bored.

He turns to his right. The valet spoons sorbet from a silver

saucer into his mouth. He turns back to the mirror to watch

himself eat. The valet pats his mouth dry.

He affects a pampered STRUT, crossing the room as the valet

sprays a mixture of perfume and powder into the air. Leopold

thrusts out his arms walking through the mist, turns and

saunters back to his favorite place, in front of the mirror.

Finally, as if weighing a great decision, Leopold hands his

hat to his valet and nods firmly into the mirror.

CLOSE UP:

Fine linen undervest slides over his head.

Black twilled worsted trousers pulled up to his waist.

The buttoning of his hard, white, roll collar.

A cream suede glove stitched in black slides over his hand.

A perfect tight bow tie is tied around his neck.

An elegant black tuxedo jacket with silk facings and tails

to the knees is fitted to his torso.

His hair is sleeked with oil and centrally parted.

His eyebrows are brushed with a tiny silver comb.

His cheeks are pinched.

A red silk handkerchief is placed in the bosom of his lapel.

Leopold stares into the mirror. The effect is DAZZLING. He

raises one eyebrow. Then, in a voice you could pour over a

waffle:

LEOPOLD:

You dance like a herd of cattle,

Miss Fairchild. You are a rare woman

who lights up the room... simply by

leaving it.

He bows. As he rises, the reflection of Leopold's UNCLE OTTO,

a pampered, effectual man in his 60's, appears behind Leopold

in the looking glass.

UNCLE OTTO:

Tell me Leopold, do you plan to join

us downstairs after completing this

one-sided flash of wit?

LEOPOLD:

I despise affairs of this sort, Uncle

Otto. No one really listens to anyone

else. If you attempt it, you will

see why.

UNCLE OTTO:

You judge everything too severely. I

wonder what would happen if you were

to cast that critical eye inward?

LEOPOLD:

You do not wonder at all. You merely

ask in order to state your own

opinion.

UNCLE OTTO:

We are all concerned about you.

LEOPOLD:

Ahh, here it comes.

UNCLE OTTO:

Your life does not seem to have any

direction. At the age of 25 a man is

too young to do anything well. At 35

he is too old. Now is your time to

take action. Tell me, what is it you

want to DO with your life?

LEOPOLD:

(wearily)

I do not know.

UNCLE OTTO:

(just as weary)

Your ignorance cramps my conversation.

(he slaps Leopold's

face twice rather

quickly)

Wake up! This is your one and only

life. Every man has the chance to

make a difference. DO something!

Leopold, stung, takes a moment to compose himself.

LEOPOLD:

I am most grateful for your

surveillance and for your sympathy.

I assure you there is no need for

concern. I am as effectual and

attentive... as my position allows.

UNCLE OTTO:

Life is not position, Leopold. It is

action.

(he straightens

Leopold's tie)

I will see you downstairs promptly.

In the appropriate frame of mind.

He leaves. Leopold stares into the mirror, snaps his fingers.

The valet hands him a glass and pours a small shot of brandy.

Leopold shoots him a look. The valet fills the glass higher.

Leopold drains the glass and heads to the doorway. He

hesitates, taking a deep breath and a long pause. Finally...

THE VALET:

(grandly)

Go spread joy.

Without looking back, Leopold leaves the room.

INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT

Music fills the air as the creme de la creme of Victorian

society gather inside. Leopold holds a prearranged dance

card. He looks at the names and finds his first partner is

MISS TREE. Leopold looks upward helplessly at an unrelenting

God.

INT. BALLROOM DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT

A profoundly self-conscious Leopold dances energetically

into frame with MISS TREE, an ancient, elfin, yet amazingly

SPRY woman who gapes up at him searchingly, unblinking.

Leopold opens his mouth to speak, can think of nothing

suitable to say, and clamps his mouth shut. They dance out

of frame.

INT. BALLROOM DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT

Leopold dances into frame with CLARA, a BEAUTIFUL girl of

19. He glances at her and smiles. She titters, turning away

shyly. They whirl around the dance floor. His smile grows

into a broad grin. Caught up in the excitement, Clara beams

up at him... happily revealing a mouth full of missing, inky

teeth.

Leopold, face frozen in a formal smile, dances on.

INT. BALLROOM DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT

Leopold lumbers into frame with MISS FAIRCHILD, a woman of

immense girth. With great dignity and extreme difficulty he

maneuvers her around the floor, looking everywhere except

her enormous bosom.

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