Kauwboy

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- First, there is nothing.

- There is nothing.

- Nothing at all.

- Nothing at all, it is all black.

- But then:
Boom.

- That's right.

I'm going to win.

In a film by Boudewijn Koole.

There goes Speedy and behind him

drives the slow snail.

I've got your little one.

You're a tough one.

What would you like to eat?

Mashed potatoes?

I hate it too,

but dad wanted it for dinner.

How about mashed potatoes

with cauliflower?

Do you fancy this?

Just cauliflower, I like that.

I think your mum is really stupid

chucking you out of the nest like that.

You've got to eat, you know.

E, A, T, eat or you'll die.

A drink?

Would you like to see the bathroom?

If you have to go, lift up the seat.

The towels are over there.

That's where mummy used to sleep

and daddy still does.

He doesn't like pets or plants.

He always says:

Animals and plants belong outside.

It's so quiet, isn't it?

Look, this is my room.

That's dad and mum in America.

That's me with dad and mum.

Do you know how we went to America?

By plane.

You can't fly yet, but you'll learn.

That's mummy performing in a band.

In Westland.

That's in South Africa.

We fed the giraffes

out of a little train.

That's mummy, she made it herself.

Do you like it too?

I guess so, because your ear

is up against the speaker.

It's about the stars and the moon

and stuff like that.

I play it every night

before I go to sleep.

I'm glad I found you. You're going

to sleep right next to me, won't you?

Goodnight.

Jackdaw, are you going to eat?

Otherwise you'll die.

Please? If you're going to die

I might as well have left you there.

You're so sweet,

I want to keep you as a pet.

Okay, that's it, come on, eat.

Come on. Please?

Be quiet, or you'll wake dad up.

Hello mum, how are you?

I'm fine and so is dad.

I slept in his bed last night.

It was really nice.

You've got your own bed.

And he let me stay.

Now move.

Well mum, how are things over there?

Is it fun? Do you miss us?

No, just a little bit.

Mum, I've got a surprise for you.

It's for your birthday.

It's black and it's just as big as a...

as the peanut butter lid.

I've got to go, bye.

It's an alligator, not a crocodile.

Mum had crocodile boots like that.

Jojo...

Are we going to fight? Boxing?

You fight like a girl.

No ear-pulling, Jojo.

So I fight like a girl, right?

I've had enough now.

Jojo is free.

Over here.

Keep the ball in front of you.

Well done. Jojo is free.

Well done, come on swim yourself free.

Jairo, take it easy.

Knock it off.

Listen, Jojo. Are you listening?

If you do that again, I'll call your dad

and you're out of the team.

- But he started it.

- I don't care.

If he kicks you, you come to me.

You don't bite. Shut up.

Thank you. I'll see you next week.

Your little one eats.

Don't worry about your little one,

he's eating.

He's safe with me.

Come on, boy. You've got to eat.

Yes, well done.

Do you want another one?

Well done. Who's a big eater?

There you are, dad.

- For you, dad.

- Just put it down.

- Don't you want a drink?

- Just put it down.

Look, a boy in my class

found a jackdaw.

And... Well, he tried to put it back.

But then the mother

jackdaw came at him.

And then the chick

fell out of the nest again.

So then he took it home.

His parents let him. If he were your son

would you let him keep it?

- No, you always put it back.

- Yes, but he tried that.

And then it fell out again.

So what then?

Would you let him keep it?

- Pass me that extension thing.

- Dad?

- Could he keep it?

- Animals and plants belong outside.

Okay, dad.

A jackdaw.

Don't feed jackdaws bread and milk

or their feathers will grow weak.

Every two hours, feed them a mix

of cat food and birdseed, or they'll die.

A tame jackdaw can live up to 25 years.

They're monogamous, which means

they always stay with their partner.

Take good care of a jackdaw

and you'll have a friend for life.

Hand underneath thumb behind

shoulders forward

pinch in the ball

throw it far follow it through

and score a goal.

Did you see fatty push me under?

But he couldn't, I threw the ball.

- Then I dived under him.

- You should have seen his face.

Yes, and then Jairo threw the ball to me.

- And I slammed it into the top corner.

- Yes, that's the spirit.

I want to see that every time, Jojo.

Are we proud of Jojo?

- Yes.

- Well, give him the treatment.

Dad, we won.

- Everybody...

- Bags don't go on tables.

There was a fat boy who pushed me

under but I dived underneath him.

We won 5-3 and I scored all five.

But it was great fun and

everybody lifted me up and...

Go to your room.

- And in the bus they...

- Now.

Don't be afraid.

You're safe here, with me.

It's not too bad, is it?

Hello mum, dad cooked

something really nice.

We had spaghetti in a red sauce.

I won today at water polo.

I scored eight goals.

There's a new girl on the water polo

team, she's called Yenthe.

She always chews blue bubble-gum.

She blows bubbles the size of my head.

No, she's just as special

as any other girl.

- Let me have a go.

- Be my guest.

But be careful because I just burnt

my fingers three times in a row.

- See, I can do it.

- That's beginner's luck.

Show me again.

See?

You can do it.

Smoke signals.

A smoke signal.

- Is it fun?

- Would you like to try?

Yes, please.

Where is your mum?

She's on tour in America.

- When is she coming back?

- I don't know.

It's her birthday in a few days.

I'm going to bake her an apple pie.

- Do you miss her a lot?

- A bit.

Hey, little one.

Have a cuddle with Yenthe.

Come on, cuddle with Yenthe.

Go on then.

- Cool animal, isn't it?

- Yes, how big do they get?

This one won't grow much more,

I don't think.

He's so sweet, isn't he?

- Do you know where the Lada keys are?

- Downstairs, on the table?

- Are you in the same class as Jojo?

- No, water polo team.

- What are you doing?

- Just sitting.

- Behave yourself, now.

- Yes, dad.

- And clean the place up, it smells in here.

- Sure dad, I will.

- Bye.

- Bye, dad.

- See you.

- See you tomorrow.

- How long have you had him for?

- A week.

A week?

That's quite an achievement.

- What's it called?

- Jack.

Do you know what the problem is, Jojo?

It's silly but they always die.

- This one is still alive.

- In the nest it might survive.

If you keep it, it'll die. Put it back.

No, I won't.

- It needs to be scared of cars and dogs.

- I'll teach him.

It has to be afraid of you,

of humans, doesn't it?

- Yes.

- Well, there you are.

- You heard me, put it back.

- No.

- He'll think you're his mother.

- He already thinks that.

- You'll get attached to it...

- I already am, and he is attached to me.

You heard me, put it back.

That's the end of it.

D*ckhead.

Take good care of yourself, little one.

Bye.

Wait a second.

Look at me.

Look at me.

You understand that it's

for your own good, don't you?

Well, do your best.

Score some goals.

See you tomorrow,

we'll do something fun.

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