Kelly and Cal

---

Come in.

- Hi, Mama.

How you doing?

Hanging in there?

Yeah.

Okay, go ahead and lay back.

And scoot down.

All right, let's see

how we're healing up.

Where's the little one?

Home with Daddy?

Yes.

Enjoying motherhood so far?

Yes.

- Any bleeding, hemorrhoids,

or itching?

Um, no.

- Good.

Good.

Well, incision's

healing up great.

Everything looks dandy

down there.

All clear for whoopee,

not that most women

are raring to go at six weeks.

Uh, birth control?

- Somehow I don't think we'll be

needing that right away.

- Yeah,

I've heard that one before.

Just had one in here

with a 2-month-old

and pregnant again.

Sound like your idea

of a good time?

So, you know, have fun,

but play it safe.

Any other questions?

Um...

Okay, good to see you.

Bye, now.

- I don't... I don't know why

he's fussing.

You want me to change him?

I already did that.

I don't know

what his problem is.

- Here.

Bring him to me.

I'll take him.

Come here.

Hey, there, buddy.

- I got my six-week checkup

today.

- Yeah, that's right.

How'd that go?

Good.

The doctor said we could

get back to business,

if you know what I mean.

Really?

You up for that?

I am if you are.

Well, you know, I just figure

you're so tired with the baby

and everything.

Josh, we haven't had sex

in six months.

- Right, right.

No need to rush.

Hey, what are you...

Do I disgust you?

What?

No, of course not.

- Is it because

I have stretch marks now?

Am I just gross to you?

- You are perfect

exactly the way you are.

Okay?

I'm serious.

- Then why don't you stop

jerking off

and f*** your wife?

God.

Oh, for Christ sake.

Oh, you're so sexy.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Honey!

Honey!

F***!

Oh!

What time are you gonna be

home tonight?

Uh, it's hard to say.

They are really killing us

this week.

But, um, I'll do my best.

Bye.

F***.

- You supposed to be smoking,

Mommy?

None of your f***ing business.

- Do you mind if I have one?

One of your...

Thank you.

Do you have a light?

- What, do you want me

to light it for you?

Would you mind?

Thank you.

I'm Cal, by the way.

I'm Kelly.

Nice to meet you.

Your kid is crying, Kelly.

I know.

The whole f***ing neighborhood

can hear him cry.

- So you just gonna let him

cry it out?

Cry it out?

It's called Ferberizing...

when they cry and...

- Right, right, I think I heard

of Ferberizing.

I'm sure you have.

No, I'm not kidding.

Okay.

Cool smoke rings.

You have great tits.

Excuse me?

- Little Junior in there

should be more grateful.

- I don't know who you are,

but you should not...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, relax.

I was just trying to give you

a compliment, like, uh...

Get away from my house.

- Well,

draw the freakin' curtains

if you don't want

the whole neighborhood

to watch you breastfeed.

- If you don't leave,

I will call the cops.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

Ciao, mamacita.

Oh, f***.

- That's some opening line,

you know?

"Nice tits. "

I feel like such an a**hole.

- Why?

Kid's a Peeping Tom.

- I know, but he's kind of

the first real person I've met

since we've moved here.

- Oh, so he gets a free pass

because he's in a wheelchair?

- No, I just shouldn't have

snapped at him.

He's a perv.

- Well, at least

someone's looking.

I'm looking.

It's just hard

to think of your b*obs like that

when they're Jackson's

food supply right now.

- Wow, since you put it

like that...

Know what you should do?

Take the baby on a stroll.

Explore the neighborhood

a little bit.

You know, a little exercise.

Get the endorphins going.

- Sure, I'm exhausted,

I can barely get dressed,

but a nice brisk walk

in the neighborhood,

that might do the trick.

You never know.

It'll get better.

Mm, so they say.

Shh.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey!

Wait.

I am nowhere near your house.

Oh, wait.

Wait.

I wanted to apologize

for yelling at you before.

Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

I didn't realize that, um...

Oh, right, the chair.

Because Tourette's is a common

side effect of spinal injuries.

Okay.

- No, I've just been feeling

really exhausted

and out of sorts, you know,

since the...

- You got your baby to sleep.

Congratulations.

Yeah, I did.

Apparently, he really likes

going on walks.

Me too.

You know, that's a joke

about the walking.

You can laugh.

Right.

Okay.

- Okay.

This is my stop.

Wow.

You live here?

Nice house.

- I accept your apology,

and in return, I apologize

if I admired your breasts

inappropriately.

Oh, hey.

Hey.

Mom wanted to drop by

for dinner tonight.

Okay with you?

Oh, y-sure.

This was so good.

- He's so beautiful.

- Sweet.

He is the sweetest one ever.

And you look so beautiful,

Julie.

He looks just like you, Kelly.

Ooh, that is plenty.

This was so great.

Thanks again for cooking, Mom.

- It was really good.

- Thank you.

It was my pleasure, as always.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

It's okay.

- Anybody want anything

from the kitchen?

How was your day, Mommy?

Huh?

I'm sorry.

What?

You must be exhausted.

I was just wondering

how your day was.

Okay.

Good.

I met a neighbor.

I...

- That's great.

- All right.

- Who'd you meet?

- You did? Great.

That's wonderful.

Remember our old neighbor

Charlie?

- You know, he's back

with his wife now.

- The old wife?

- Mary Ellen.

- Oh, guys, don't forget

I'm taking Jackson

to my walking group on Thursday.

- Yeah, but I don't know.

Maybe it is.

Maybe it has to do with...

Hi.

Are you guys an organized

mommies group or...

- This is the Glendora Park

mothers group.

Cool.

Well, I just moved here

a few months ago,

right before he was born,

so I haven't gotten out yet.

- You should check us out

online.

Oh.

Okay.

Yeah, there's an application

and, uh, a membership fee

for snacks and activities.

Sure, that makes sense.

- But everyone's welcome

to join.

See you soon.

You bet.

Hey.

Hey.

You can ignore that.

Come in.

Is he sleeping?

Yeah.

Finally.

Where did you get

all these signs?

Oh, it was a stupid game

me and my girlfriend, Bailey,

used to play.

Ex-girlfriend.

Nice place.

- Thank you.

Welcome to the clubhouse.

Let me get you a beer.

Uh, no, I'm nursing.

- Well, you know, some cultures

prescribe a daily beer

for nursing mothers...

uh, Guinness especially.

I think I have one back here.

I love Guinness.

But I'm not... no.

I'm... thank you.

Um...

so you live out here?

Yes, I do.

My parents didn't want

to remodel.

It fucks up resale value.

Wow.

Are they gonna invest

in a decent ramp anytime soon?

What's wrong with my ramp?

Wobbles.

- Well, I like to live

dangerously.

Besides, what's the worst

that could happen, really?

So...

my mom is suddenly this

huge crusader for the disabled.

She's all over the high school

to upgrade access to the stadium

for graduation,

which I have no plans

on attending.

But why should that stop her?

I mean, there's, like,

genocide in Darfur

and human trafficking

all throughout Eastern Europe,

but her son needs

a new f***ing ramp.

Yeah, whatever.

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