Kicks

MAN:
Minus 15...

T-minus ten, nine,

eight, seven, six,

five, four, three,

two, one, zero.

BRANDON:
Sometimes,

I wish I had a spaceship.

(HEAVY BREATHING)

Just hang out in space

where it's quiet.

And no one can f*** with me.

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

(GUNSHOT)

(BULLET CASING CLATTERS)

Even when I dream, I dream

about getting chased.

(RAPPING) I got the mack in my knapsack

Loungin' black, smoking sacks, up in acts

Sidekicks with my sidekicks,

rockin' fly kicks

I've never been in a real fight.

Mainly because

I've always been fast.

Mom says when

you're small, like me,

you gotta watch

out for yourself.

I ain't gonna lie, though.

Kids at school are

always f***ing with me,

making fun of my shoes

and how broke I am.

Don't tell my mom 'cause I

don't want to see her upset.

I once heard this real

famous comic say that

deciding to wear flip-flops

is like saying, "I hope I

don't get chased today."

That's why I don't wear

f***ing flip-flops.

I'm from the East Bay,

Richmond, California.

Cheez-Its. That's where you

need to start the story.

We eating Cheez-Its...

Those are my two best friends...

Chen-Rs'?

We eating Cheez-Its... You

don't even got Cheez-Its...

What up, man? You look like a

little girl coming down the street.

We do everything together.

Tie that sh*t up.

ALBERT:
Anyway, look, we

chillin' eating Cheez-Its.

Out of nowhere, she just starts

sucking my dick. I swear to God.

BRANDON:
That's Rico.

I put that online.

He don't take sh*t from nobody.

Like, all he do is

just sit around and smoke.

But he's still ripped.

Guys don't f*** with him.

But girls do.

He can't give it to

you like I can, baby!

That's Albert.

You f***in' around.

ALBERT:
I'm going to leave.

BRANDON:
All he do

is talk about p*ssy.

But! don't think

he ever seen one.

He says he's some

kind of R&B genius.

(RAPPING) All you got to do

Hey, bro... Hey, run

that sh*t back one time.

Put that auto-tune

all the way up...

B*tch, shut the f*** up! Can't

you see me in the studio?

Nigga, f*** you.

You in a motherfucking

closet with your fat ass.

BRANDON:

The greatest of all time.

Hey, bro.

P*ssy Mix Tape, bro.

Hottest sh*t out.

Volume Four, bro.

Man, don't nobody want

to buy my sh*t, bruh.

BRANDON:
'Cause you wack.

Man, f*** you.

I'ma make it, nigga.

Every day we do the same sh*t.

RICO:
I don't know, man.

Red Ones...

We talk about the same sh*t.

ALBERT:
They're not just freakin' shoes.

Those are J's.

You know how much head I

would get if I had...

Albert's got the 6's.

Rico's got the 3's.

(BEAT-BOXING)

Them 11's, though'?

That's the sh*t right there.

ALBERT:
Fresh feet equals...

RICO:
Respect, nigga.

Balls-deep, nigga.

Right?

You know it.

You don't know.

Fresh feet equals balls-deep.

I knew that.

(RAPPING) Quiet 'cause they

'bout it 'Cause it's too loud

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

You know what, I'm rapping now

I'ma pass it to my nigga B

You're up.

All right...

(BEAT-BOXING)

What the f***?

ALBERT:
Come on, man.

(RAPPING) Said nothing like the rest,

nigga Sicka then the next nigga

The Bay ain't behind me

'cause I keep it on my chest

BRANDON:
Sometimes, it fee!

Like everybody cooler than me.

You're supposed to push me next.

No.

Hey, you trying to get faded, B?

You got a light?

Yeah.

Maybe because I'm small...

Get the f*** out of here!

I don't know.

RICO:
You see

my friend over there?

That one over there.

(WOMAN LAUGHS) What you laughing for?

Go talk to him.

Like, in school,

can't play pick up,

can't take a piss,

can't pull no girls...

Boo, nigga.

Can I help you?

Bruh, she must have had the

balls in there, and everything.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Sh*t. You know I love it when

they do that sh*t, too, nigga.

Shut the f*** up. You ain't

never had your dick wet.

Nigga, f*** you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CROWD BOOING)

(RAPPING)

RICO:
Damn, B,

that kid looks like you.

Except, he don't have shoes

from middle school. (LAUGHS)

(CONTINUES

RAPPING INDISTINCTLY)

BRANDON:
The Bred 1's.

The black and red ones.

The originals.

First Jordans ever made, man.

(INDISTINCT)

Damn.

If I had those...

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

Excuse me.

CLERK:
Yo, what up?

Do you have these in a seven?

Nah, they don't

make kids' sizes.

How much are they?

$350.

BRANDON:
Mom always

hides my birthday money.

She say, I got to

save up for emergencies.

DARYL:
Hey, little boy. You.

Curly-haired

little boy, come here.

Yeah, you, come on. Talking to you.

How you doing?

OI' Will-Smith's-son-

looking little boy.

What's going on with you, man?

Check it out, man. Look

what I got for you, baby.

How you doing?

Now don't hurt

your eyes right now,

I'm gonna show you some stuff

that you might not

never seen before.

Where'd you get all these at?

Don't worry about that.

Why your shoes look like that?

I got some stuff for you.

My name's Daryl.

What's your name?

Brandon. What's

up with you, boy?

Let me show you some stuff, man.

You might want

some of these stuff.

Your foot game is everything

in this world, man.

Let me show you these.

You seen these?

Brand-new. You feel me?

Those nice.

You like those, huh?

I got something that's gonna

be nice on you, though.

The stores don't even got these, boy.

These exclusive, you see.

But these right here,

these cost more than your life.

ALBERT AND RICO:
Damn!

Blood, you did not buy these.

Your mama got 'em for you?

I bought 'em.

Nigga, please.

The "Bred" Air Jordan 1's?

Yeah.

Nigga, are these f***ing originals?

Yeah.

Man, they, like, a

grand on the Internet.

How you get them? Hold on, hold

on, hold on. Look, look, look.

I swear to God, I bought 'em.

Like, for real, I did.

Listen, I was walking home when

I saw Crazy Daryl on 23rd.

So, I'm like,

"Yo, Daryl."

And then, he like,

"What up, my nigga?"

So, you know I'm talking to...

No, he didn't.

Man, anyway... I'm

like, "What you got?"

And then, he, like, "Hey, blood,

check this out right here.

"Nigga, you ain't gon' find

this sh*t anywhere else.

This sh*t cost more

than your whole life."

When I seen them re releases

looking sweet,

I had to cop 'em.

So I'm, like, "How much?"

This nigga, like, "$200, bro."

So, Hum to walk away knowing

this nigga playing me and sh*t.

Then he's, like,

"Wait, nah, I meant $150."

And I'm like, "Yeah, nigga. That's

more like it!" (ALL CHUCKLE)

And I was, like, "Peace."

That's how I got 'em.

RICO:
Whatever, nigga. Your dick

get bigger, too, or something?

ALBERT:
Bro, leave

his dick out of this.

I'm just saying, man.

Your feet got bigger...

Did your dick

finally get longer?

BRANDON:
Why you love

my dick so much, man?

(SCOFFS) Got 'em.

This li'l nigga

was born tonight.

LILA:
I'ma tell auntie

on your fat ass.

Ridin' that bike over there like Mr.

Kool-Aid-on-a-bike and sh*t.

Somebody call

Captain Save-a-ho!

Dumbass lookin' nigga.

I need to get me some of them

shoes, though, on the cool.

Hey, B. Come play

with me, nigga.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes