Kids Return

---

Director :
Takeshi Kitano

- You have 10 minutes stage time.

- Okay.

- Hi, there. We're Antarctic 55.

- Nice to be here with you.

What a wonderful crowd you are.

It's great to see you all.

- We've been a duo since high school.

- That's right, since high school.

You know, people recognize me now

when I go out.

The other day,

everybody was staring at me.

Good for you.

- I was just taking my suit off.

- Well, it is rather flashy.

- They were all staring at me.

- Both men and women?

- Yes, even a lion.

- A lion? ln the street?

But I kept undressing.

And now you're a celebrity.

- So I pulled my pants back up.

- Good move.

Masaru.

Hello.

Still at it?

No, I quit.

Oh, I see.

And you?

I'm doing nothing.

Are you going anywhere?

Yes, job hunting.

I'll give you a ride.

No, thanks.

We used to ride to school together,

remember?

Watch out! Pedal to the right!

Are you trying to kill me?

Masaru, shouldn't we be at school?

We're at school, stupid!

This is the school playground.

Watanabe!

Stop looking out the window.

It's those morons again.

What's going on?

He's got it.

Shall we go to class

for a change?

School is almost over.

So what do you want to be?

- Dojokes, gags, you know.

- You mean a comedian?

I wanted to be a model

when I was a kid.

We all had big dreams--

a fashion model?

- A plastic model.

- You're nuts!

He's here again.

Must have the hots for Sachiko.

He's not her type.

I'm leaving.

See you soon.

Leaving already?

I got a part-timejob.

That's nice.

- Good luck.

- Thank you.

You too should get a job

if you're broke.

- What is this?

- What?

It's probably a gift for you.

It's so naff.

I think it's sweet.

Hand over your money.

What about you?

I don't have any.

Okay, jump.

Jump up and down.

No money, eh?

Take off your socks.

Take off your socks, I said!

Let's go.

Why don't you smoke?

Smoking can damage my health.

So what?

You're already brain-damaged.

Thanks a lot.

Coffee, please.

There. You left it here.

- It's a gift for you.

- Thanks, but I don't want it.

I want you to keep it.

I have one, too,

exactly the same.

If you have the time,

would you read this?

All right.

One coffee.

What did he give you?

Maybe a love letter.

You never know.

- Can I pay?

- That'll be 800 yen.

- Leaving already?

- We're hardworking students.

"When I get into bed

and close my eyes...

it's your face, Sachiko,

that appears before me.

And you smile at me.

It is evident...

I've fallen deeply, madly,

completely in love with you!"

"Fallen in love."

Did you get it?

This is so embarrassing.

Now listen well.

Suppose you throw a dart

at the circle on the left.

What is the probability

of the dart hitting "A"?

That's assuming that you don't

miss the target, of course.

Get this right.

The length of the radius is 1 0.

All right?

We don't expect you two to study.

All that we ask is that

you don't disturb the others.

If you can't stop that,

don't bother to come to class.

Maybe we should

have them expelled.

You mean both of them?

This is the money I earn

from my part-timejob.

I can't spare any money.

In that case, try shoplifting.

I can't afford to be arrested.

My mum, I'm all she's got.

Your mum?

Why should we care?

- Go and buy it!

- You go and buy it!

- Why me?

- Want holes in your head?

Okay, what do you want?

- What?

- A hamburger.

Me too. And you?

I want--

- What do you want?

- I'll have a fish burger.

- A hamburger for me too.

- What's got into you guys?

Just go and buy them!

If they get any worse,

it'll be insufferable.

They'll never be criminal masterminds.

They only have guts for silly gags.

They'll end up petty crooks at most.

Out of the way, please.

Stand back, boys. I want to park.

Good morning, sir.

I say, you boys are still here?

Other schools would've expelled

such morons long ago.

We're not a charity organization.

It's brand-new.

I've just had it waxed.

It mustn't be touched by morons,

so step back. Be careful.

I'm not hiding any money here.

Just take it off.

The other too.

If you're broke, get a job.

Welcome.

What'll it be?

Two soup noodles,

grilled dumplings and a beer.

Have cigarettes?

You shouldn't smoke and drink

while you're still at school.

Give me a break, Grandpa.

Kids shouldn't be drinking beer.

You little shits.

There's no law against it.

There is.

It's my money. Stay out of it.

You little--

Leave it.

Sorry about that.

Grandpa.

It's on me.

- D*ckhead. Light his cigarette.

- Sorry, sir.

I'll go and bring the car 'round.

Excuse me, sir.

I hear Kansai's trying to muscle in.

We can deal with him.

- Kazuo.

- Yes, sir?

- For the cigarettes. Keep the change.

- Thank you, sir.

- Are you good to your parents?

- Yes, sir.

Sure?

Yes, I am, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

He must be a lieutenant.

Gangs are not bad

if you're a lieutenant.

- He's cool, isn't he?

- He is.

I wanted to be a baseball player.

That's not easy.

Everyone told me

I couldn't be a professional.

Didn't you practice every day?

- Yes, Ping-Pong.

- No wonder you failed.

It's you who set fire

to Mr. Ashida's car!

Why do you do such stupid things?

We didn't do it.

- Do you have any proof?

- You were the only ones there.

Read my lips--

we didn't do it.

It may sound cruel,

but we should insist they quit school.

We don't want them

to become gangsters.

Their jokes are pathetic...

but they might be better off

as comedians.

They're not talented enough.

Hello, everybody.

- The subject today--

- Is dreams.

- What's yours?

- A comedian.

That's old-fashioned.

- What about you?

- Me?

I-- Let's start again.

Hello, everybody.

- The subject today--

- Is dreams.

- What's yours?

- To be a comedian.

A comedian?

That's old-fashioned.

- What about you?

- A gag man.

I wanted to be a model

when I was a kid.

A fashion model?

- A plastic model.

- You're nuts.

But in high school, I decided

I wanted to be a baseball player.

Not an uncommon dream.

They all said I couldn't be

a professional. I didn't understand why.

You practiced every day,

I suppose.

Yes, Ping-Pong.

Laugh, you bastards.

You just didn't get it.

Go to Osaka and study.

Yes, sir.

This is an adult movies cinema.

You're still at school.

No, we're not.

You're wearing the school uniform.

Let's go.

- Mr. Takagi.

- Yes, sir?

How about a movie?

Good idea, Section Chief.

Two adults.

You boys were here a minute ago.

You're under age!

We're wearing suits.

It's school uniform!

My brother sent me

to get advanced tickets.

"Advanced tickets"?

We don't have such things.

If I return empty-handed,

my brother'll be mad at me.

How many tickets do you need?

Two.

You can have complimentary tickets.

Thank you very much.

Well, Mr. Takagi, shall we go?

Yes, sir.

How can this look like a suit?

It was just an idea.

You and your ideas!

I even drew a moustache.

It was dumb.

Excuse me.

Isn't Sachiko here today?

She went out,

and this is the busiest hour.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes