Killing Them Softly Page #2

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with shotguns and stocking masks..."

could come in here and really clean up."

So he thinks,

"What the f***," and he does it.

Put your hands on the f***ing table

with your f***ing money!

Mike, all right, all right,

give him the money. Go, Mike!

Now all the games have to shutdown.

It's a real pain in the ass.

Total f***ing economic collapse.

Everyone's pissing and moaning.

No one's got any money.

Everybody's, you know, really upset.

F*** me.

Markie!

They send Dillon out to find out

who did it.

The f*** are you looking at'?

Markie!

What?

And Dillon interrogates Markie.

- Hey, What's going on? Hey!

- Hey.

You knock over the card game?

Jesus Christ! What the f***'?

Dillon!

And Markie holds up under questioning.

Dillon, what the f***'?

What's this all about?

Dillon can't work it out

who did it, so they think...

"What the f***.

It's just one of those things."

Let's have a beer.

What the f***, man?

Stop crying-

So eventually, the games start up again.

Everything's getting back to normal,

everyone's making money again...

and everyone's happy.

One night, they're all sitting around

and they're talking about...

"Remember the time

when all the games were shutdown...

and everyone's hearing footsteps

and what a f***ing drag?"

Yeah, yeah, that was horrible.

And Markie starts laughing.

He can't help himself.

You know what?

He tells them it was him

that robbed his own game.

I did it!

And everyone thinks it's funny.

Where was I'?

What the hell, it really

wasn't their money that was stolen...

and everyone loves Markie,

so they give him a pass.

But if it happens again,

if Markie's game gets knocked over...

they're gonna know it was Markie

and Markie's gonna take the fall for it.

All right, well, f*** it. I'm in.

What about Russell?

I don't give a rat's ass.

You can go in there with...

f***ing Tarzan and his f***ing

spotted jockstrap for all I care...

if you can get him to do it.

But this thing's gotta move, all right'?

All right with me. Look,

I gotta do something soon.

If I don't think of something

soon, I'm gonna have...

to go back and knock

on a gate and say, "Let me back in."

I can't think of nothing

it's starting to get cold

Because just a matter of time...

some other fresh bastard's

gonna think of this...

and then it's gonna be gone,

we don't have the money.

We're not the only smart guys

in the world.

F***, this a good car you got.

It's like the lounge room,

mate, but it's a good car.

Yeah, I wish you could

still get a car like this.

Keep this one.

Yeah, that's just

what I need is a nice, hot car.

You're not getting any, are you?

Go f*** yourself. Tomorrow night,

I'm getting some. All right'?

You know, if this thing goes all right,

this is my last night a priest.

F***ing take care of my own hog.

You certainly had a bunch of practice

at taking care of your own hog.

Yeah, that's real f***ing nice talk.

A guy like you,

sticking it in Goat-Ass' satchel.

F***ing really nice talk.

Hey, we're in jail, you know.

Rule number one,

find yourself a lovely, clean older man.

Who the f*** told you

that Goat-Ass was clean'?

Rule number two

if you can't find that lovely,

clean older man...

take the dirty one.

You're f***ing sick.

You know, we shoulda actually

had them get you a goat, you know.

Have 'em bring it into the jail

and you could f*** the goat.

You know,

I had some clout with the keepers.

Oh, those poor dogs.

You sure you're not

f***ing around with those dogs?

No, no, 'cause they're dogs,

they bite, you know.

I mean, I'll give you some advice, mate.

Don't-not with a dog, you know.

They can nip, from what I hear...

and that's very painful,

from what I hear.

You know, you're better off

with women, mate...

if you can get yourself one, that is.

Well, maybe I'm not sure I can.

They're around.

There's broads just like us, mate.

Just as crazy as us too.

Like this one, she's beautiful,

mate, but she's crazy.

She's crazy.

Let me tell you, all right.

I go up to the house, okay?

I've got a hard-on already.

She opens the door and, f***, mate,

she was completely naked, you know.

I got quite nervous, mate,

'cause it's been a while, you know.

And she's like, "Well, are you

gonna come and f*** me..."

or you gonna stand there all day?"

So I take her in there. I f*** her.

It's really, let me tell you...

she f***ed like

a f***ing crazy alien

from the planet Gobble, you know?

She started moaning and gobbling, mate.

I mean, really going crazy,

just like the cock goes in and...

So roll off, done, oh, fantastic.

Next words out of her mouth,

"I'm gonna kill myself."

They all say that.

That's the first thing they think

of to say, you know, a lot of them.

Yeah, it don't mean anything.

Yeah.

Here you go, man.

Jesus, that's what you f***ing got,

dishwashing gloves?

Look, you take

what you can f***ing get, all right'?

These f***ing things are too thick.

It's what they had.

They might

had some f***ing latex gloves...

from, like,

a f***ing hospital or something.

You'll make do.

There you go.

Jesus, the f*** is this?

What does it look like?

It's a f***ing sawn-off shotgun, okay?

It's what you asked me

to f***ing get you.

I mean, you asked me for this, mate.

We shoot somebody

with this f***ing thing...

it's gonna kill everybody

in the f***ing room.

Well, tell them that.

We're gonna look like a bunch of

f***ing amateurs when we go in there.

Take a breath.

All right, you ready to do this?

You don't even have your glove on.

I got my f***ing glove on.

Just shut the f*** up.

You shut the f*** up.

You know. I'm going out there

with a f***ing hand grenade...

and there's a f***ing condom on my hand.

All right, hands, hands,

hands, all of you, hands!

Get your f***ing hands up.

Okay.

I hope you guys know what you're doing.

Should I get the money?

Just take it easy.

Hands, hands!

You stop f***ing looking at me.

Stop f***ing looking at me

Get your f***ing hands up.

You know they're gonna kill you.

You know that, don't you?

That doesn't have to happen.

It shouldn't happen to you.

You should just put the gun down...

turn around and walk out the front door.

I'll take care of your friend.

I ain't gonna f***ing tell you again,

you stop f***ing looking at me.

Don't worry about him.

I'll take care of him for you.

What's going on in there?

Come on, now.

Hands, hands, hands!

Get your f***ing hands up!

What's going on in there?

Talk to me! What's going on in there?

You sure you want to do this?

All right, put it on the table.

You want me to sit down'?

Nice.

All right, you motherf***er,

give it up right now!

You got the money. Leave him alone.

Hey, take out what you got in

your pockets and put it on the table.

Hey, leave the poor bastard alone!

You got all the money.

Hey, shut the f*** up!

- Leave the f***ing bastard...

- You shut the f*** up!

All right, you f***ing cocksucker...

get your f***ing money out of

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