King of the Belgians Page #4

declared its independence.

And since I am from Montenegro, they gave

the title to Serb from Serbia. B*tch.

I remember this story.

But then Belgrade got tired of this

affair and they gave me this job.

Well, that's not exactly a happy

ending, is it?

Make no mistake, Mr. Duncan Lloyd.

This is a very interesting job.

- Enjoy swinging Serbia.

- Thank you, I will.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Unbelievable, I honestly

recognized that.

The Finns.

- The capital of the Falklands?

- Stanley.

The first country to

adopt Christianity?

Armenia.

The first atheist state?

- No idea.

- Albania.

Does he make you happy?

Does the camera make you feel entitled

to dig into other people's lives?

It depends.

And to what greater purpose?

The pursuit of beauty.

And truth.

- Okay, give me that.

- Why?

- The camera, give it to me.

- No way.

- Yes you are.

- Not gonna happen.

Come on. Give it to me.

So Mr. Duncan Lloyd.

- Are you ever serious?

- Only when I can't breathe.

Did you really recognize

that border guard?

I did a story on Balkan beauties

a while back.

- How come you speak some Serbian?

- I spent some time here during the war.

We have a problem.

- It must be from the civil war.

- No, there were floods.

Do you see all these

locked woods there?

Water has passed.

A nice nuisance.

This is not a scene about

a broken bridge.

It's a scene about a

very different obstacle.

One involving myself and

my troubled past.

Duncan!

Duncan Lloyd!

It's me! Dragan!

Oh my god.

What the hell are you

doing here, man?

Me?

What the hell are you doing

here in my Serbia?

Take the camera and shoot.

- Dragan, my brother.

- Dunken Dunc.

My friend.

- You've lost all your hair.

- Yes, all I have.

- Your beautiful hair.

- But you found your stomach.

Oh, my friend.

My crazy brother.

- Who are all these people?

- My team.

Nicky, the sound man.

Carlos, my camera assistant.

Our producer, Ludo.

- And Louise, my assistant.

- Hi.

Guys, this is a very special

man and a very dear friend.

What are you doing here?

We are making an item on

Turkey joining Europe.

Excuse me, are your phones

working here in Serbia?

- Where is she from?

- From Belgium.

Belgium? Maybe you don't know

your country is broken.

- Yes, we know it.

- So pity.

Heart of United Europe and you can

not keep your mini-country together.

Your country is not a fine

example either.

- Just ignore her, Dragan.

- She is right. I like her.

Well, we are true stuff of

mythology, Lady Louise.

Balkan is the Balkan.

We love. We hate.

We love.

Dragan the hawk they called him.

I made a film about him,

called Sharpshooter.

He was a champion at

the Sarajevo Olympics.

Then he became a sniper

during the siege of Sarajevo.

That's where I met him while I

was embedded with the Serbs.

- Are you serious?

- What?

- A sniper.

- A sniper?

So...

- What's the plan?

- Just keep it simple.

Simple? What? Can you define

keep it simple?

Just don't blow our cover. A royal would

fetch a pretty ransom around here.

- I do not want to go.

- Don't worry. We eat, we go.

I'm not hungry.

I'm not going.

So there I was, facing two

of my darkest demons.

Dragan the hawk and Rakia,

the lubricant of the Balkans.

Cheers.

We have said it more than once.

More than once.

A million times.

But you know what?

Now...

Now you can make documentary

part two.

Can you say something, please?

Thank you.

Thanks, Nicky.

Dragan, how would you

describe your life?

Well...

Everything happens on a different

way, you know.

Nothing was like I

wanted it to be.

You are the only one

who maybe knows that is true.

But now I am just looking...

to live without pain.

And it would be

enough for me now.

Describe the pain?

Don't ask me that, please.

Remember Sharpshooter?

Of course I remember.

We went through the whole war,

you and I.

Remember when you called me

and you told me not to release it?

- Why do you ask me if I remember?

- Why did you not want the film to be released?

Well, what do you think of the fact

that I didn't do it?

It would have launched my career,

and I listened to you.

And I didn't release it.

You... You just simply...

did something what nobody

else would do.

And I really...

I really can not believe

what you have done.

All right, I admit it.

I tried to squeeze a release out of Dragan

but never had a chance.

My film Sharpshooter will

never see the light of day.

But the king that listened

carefully to every single word.

- You don't like it?

- Yes, I like it.

That's just the beginning.

Try again.

- Drink rakia.

- He does not like it.

You have to do it fast. Look at

me, please, my friend. Look.

Do it, do it, do it, and after

that you will feel better.

- You don't like it?

- Yes, it's very good.

And then country is 'ciao'.

Belgium, your country,

ciao.

- Half and half, or...

- Maybe, maybe.

And what... What is your opinion?

Is Turkey closer to Europe?

- I think so. I think it's...

- And us? You don't want us.

- You want Turkey, right?

- No, also, also...

- But how? And when?

- It depends...

We've heard this

bullshit for centuries.

Well, a decade, okay?

And it never happened.

We gonna cut

this nice Serbian pig.

So, Lady Louise, a present for you.

This is a small... you know.

- What is the word?

- Tail.

- Do you want to try?

- No, thank you.

But you have never tried this.

Try, try, try.

- You never tried.

- It's delicious.

You have to taste it.

It's...

- Just try.

- Thank you very much, but...

She doesn't like the tail.

My dear friend.

Go straight and then left.

Right, right, sorry. Right.

Nice guy, huh?

Oh, f***.

Louise?

Is this your own version

of the odyssey?

Just take, take and take,

won't you, Mr. Lloyd?

To what greater purpose?

- Good morning, Ludovic.

- My jacket.

- What?

- My jacket.

- What?

- The passports? I left my jacket.

- What did you just say about passports?

- I had the jacket when I was at the table.

You left your passports there?

I'm sorry, sire.

- We forgot our passports there.

- Excuse me?

Christ, now they will know

we lied all night long.

- You were drinking all night long.

- Look, we have to get off this road.

And out of the Balkans.

Believe me when I say...

You do not want

to piss this guy off.

I can guarantee you that

he will be hot on our heels.

So, now we have a crazy

Turk and a crazy Serb chasing us?

OK, the quickest way out is

to the coast and then to Italy.

But it's another border.

Montenegro.

OK, let's go.

I drive.

Sire?

Ludovic?

I am very ashamed.

I know.

I have to resign.

No, Ludovic.

You served me well,

I count on you.

I failed completely.

No, not at all.

Sire.

Here is the border.

That was the border, sire.

Yes, I know.

I'm sorry about last night.

That's okay.

Can I ask you something,

Mr. Lloyd?

Of course.

Why did you never show

the film Sharpshooter to anyone?

Dragan, he asked me not to.

And why?

He believes that the dark side

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