King Rat

Lift it.

You! Corporal.

Inside.

Turn your pockets out, corporal.

You won this gambling, of course.

Why do you think it is?

Why do you think you have so much

and the rest of us so little?

One day, you're going

to make a slip.

All this wealth you've got

won't check against my list.

And when you do, when that happens,

I'll be ready.

Then you'll be in there.

In my cage.

I'm not playing at being

provost marshal.

And I never heard of luck

that didn't run out.

Yours will, depend on it. Because

you're like all criminals, you're greedy.

I'd like to point out that

I don't have to put up with this crap.

I'm not in your two-bit army.

I'm in our two-bit Army.

If you're looking for something

to live for, when we get out of this...

...come looking for me.

I'll hand you your head.

We'll see.

But you make one slip,

just one...

...and we'll see how long you survive

in my cage.

And after my cage, I'll personally...

I'll personally hand you over

to the Japs.

- What's happening here?

- Nothing, sir.

I'm just searching the corporal.

You're in order to search him,

question him, Grey...

...but threats and abuse aren't on.

They aren't on.

You ought to know better than

to go around dressed like that.

Asking for trouble. Just asking for it.

Even so, quite wrong to threaten.

Not the way to treat an enlisted man.

I think...

...an apology...

If you request it, sir...

...then I apologize.

- Very good.

All right, corporal, you can go,

but watch the way you dress.

Yes, thank you, colonel.

- Yeah?

- He had one invite out to number four.

Okay, I'll take care of it.

Find Col. Brant

and give him this.

Tell him not to be so late next time.

Right. Do you know where he'd be?

By the jail. It's his day

for watching Grey.

- That's all?

- That's all for him.

Then go find that guy with the arm.

He's got a delivery.

Come on, Tojo, time for tea.

Choice of litter, right?

Right.

- You hear the news, Max?

- No.

The war's gonna last

another 10 years. Official.

The last three years

was just for openers.

Lee told me to tell you

he'd done your laundry.

I asked him especially,

and he told me to tell you.

Take one.

King, you don't have to...

It's okay. I'll call you

if I need you.

You want my chow today?

- You bet.

- You got it.

Max. See that guy out there

with the wog?

Get him for me.

Hey, fella.

The King wants to see you.

- The who?

- The King.

What, is it Garden Party Day

or something?

Save the jokes.

He wants to see you.

I'm not joking. We take our royal family

very seriously.

- What's he want to see me about?

- How would I know? Come on.

Extraordinary court procedure.

Come on. Come on.

- I was sent for, I believe.

- Yeah.

Yeah. Take a seat.

Do you smoke?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Well, help yourself.

How come we never met before?

- No idea. I haven't been anywhere.

- What's your name?

Marlowe, Peter Marlowe.

What's yours?

How's that chair feel?

Fine.

- Cost me 80 bucks.

- Did it?

- Yes. I'd never have guessed.

- You'd have said more, huh?

I don't think I'd have said

anything, really.

I've never been a great

chair-price guesser.

I was gonna fix some chow.

Wanna join me?

I've just had lunch, thank you.

You could use some more,

couldn't you? You want an egg?

Excuse me, what's all this in aid of?

- Do what?

- People just don't give eggs away.

Well, I'm not people.

- Am I, Max?

- No. No, you're not people, King.

- Well, you want an egg or don't you?

- Well, of course I want it.

Okay, then, you got it.

How do you like it?

- Fried.

- Okay.

So you got yourself a fried egg.

You're not related to either

Fortnum or Mason, are you?

Who are they?

It doesn't matter. They run a little

family grocery shop back home.

That's pretty neat, huh?

Max wired it for me.

Just telling him

you wired the hot plate.

- It's working okay, huh?

- It better be.

- I gotta impress the British.

- The British are impressed.

- You speak it pretty good, don't you?

- British? I mean, English?

- No, you know, the lingo, out there.

- Yes, I suppose so. Not too bad.

Say something for me now.

- In Malay?

- Yeah.

- What sort of thing?

- Anything. I just want to hear you.

That's pretty good.

You hear that, Max?

What's that mean?

It doesn't really have

a literal translation.

But roughly, it means:

"When do I have to kiss thee

on the ass?"

After the egg, never before meals.

Plates.

Thank you.

How about that?

Not bad. Not bad at all.

The egg ain't been laid

that tastes better than that.

Don't get excited, Fortnum.

When we say not bad,

we don't mean "not bad."

- We mean it's bloody marvelous.

- Yeah?

What do you mean when

you say it's bloody marvelous?

Bit dicey.

Forget it.

- Lift your feet.

- What?

Lift your feet.

- You're slumming, aren't you, Marlowe?

- Don't be a snob.

Never make a good policeman

if you're a snob.

Everyone looks the same

with their knickers down.

- Where's your armband?

- In my pocket.

It should be on your arm.

Those are orders.

- They're Jap orders. We stuff those.

- They're also camp orders. Put it on.

- What's the matter with you?

- Nothing, sir.

Just recovering from the pleasure

of seeing you twice today.

Col. Sellars has reported

the theft of a gold ring.

A gold ring. Gee.

- Gee, that's tough, sir.

- I believe you know Col. Sellars.

- Could you describe him to me?

- You play cards with him?

That Col. Sellars. Yes. Yes.

Plays cards like an English officer and

a gentleman. He would, wouldn't he?

Don't press your luck too hard,

corporal. Just answer the questions.

- Did he ever show you the ring?

- No, he never even discussed marriage.

- I'm warning you.

- You sure you're not accusing me?

- Got a light, Grey?

- No. I'm not accusing anybody.

Then can I borrow your Ronson?

- Ronson?

- Yeah, it's in your top pocket, I think.

Thank you.

Well, now, this is new, isn't it?

Yes. It was mine.

- We were playing poker. I lost it to him.

- You what?

I lost it to him at poker.

I had a straight, but he had better.

Tell him.

- We were playing stud...

- What were the cards?

- His or mine?

- His.

- Aces on twos.

- You're lying, Marlowe!

Why, Grey, what a thing to say!

It was pathetic.

I thought I had him with a straight...

...so I threw in the lot.

Threw in the Ronson.

How do you play stud, Marlowe?

- Stud?

- Yes, how's it played?

- Stud? You mean ordinary stud?

- Yes.

We'll show you. There's nothing

like a demo.

You see, it was my hole card...

- I said I wanted you to tell me!

- Temper!

Well, never mind. I don't need

the cards to show you.

Four cards faceup.

You can imagine that.

And one down, one in the hole.

It's just like Happy Families,

really, in the nursery.

We never had a nursery, Marlowe.

That was a close one.

Too bloody true.

Here.

You're on the payroll from here

on in. Twenty bucks a week.

Okay, we'll make it 30.

Shove your money.

- What'd I say?

- It's what I said. Shove your money.

One can't expect

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