Kismet Page #5

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Like a spoutless whale

Like an elephant sunk

If you cut off his trunk

Hold

I'd like to hear a little more

When you tell a story

Amorous or gory

You can tell it best

If you gesticulate

Suppose the mighty Sinbad

Meets a jinn who's been bad

They will guess the rest

If you gesticulate

A tongue is a tongue

A lung is a lung

And a tale you can shout or sing

Without the gesture, nothing

Nothing.

Should Scheherazade

Undulate her body

That can be expressed if you ges...

Can be assessed if you ges...

She'll be undressed

If you gesticulate

If I tell you I was walking by the sea

And found a genie in a bottle

- That's trite

Quite

For practically everyone has seen a genie

Someone had to throttle

In a bottle

Right, but if I say the bottle

Was so teeny

So teeny

And so was the genie

So was the genie

Until with trembling hand

I pulled the cork

And threw the jug

And covered up my eyes

And the smoke began to curl

And the smoke began to swirl

And it swirled and it curled

And it curled and it swirled

As higher it did rise

Till it was so high

So high

And so was the genie

So was the genie

- Then two great arms reached down

Two great arms

- And lifted me up

Up

- Up, up

Up, up

- Into the sky

So high, so high

And we did fly

And he did fly

The genie and I

How he did fly

- We did sail

- Did sail

- Did sail

- Did sail

Is this a tale?

This is a tale

- Are you convinced?

- We are convinced

You see

You see

For the facile finger

Listeners will linger

They will be impressed if you ges-

Applaud with zest if you ges...

If it's a question of a story, gory

Sinbad, in bed

Bottle, smoke, genie, arms

Fly, sky, high, I state

Reiterate

Gesticulate

With your hands

With your hands

Rather clever, you must admit.

Too clever. Much too clever

for an ordinary sort of thief.

I'm sure he's stolen

more than a hundred pieces of gold.

Where have you hidden the money?

Believe me, great sir,

I have stolen nothing.

Both hands off for that lie.

What money I have was given me

for removing a curse from a mars head.

Oh, you presume to have power

over curses?

The power of prayer is infinite, Great Wazir.

And I pray exceedingly well.

Send men to his home.

Bring me who you find.

- All his confederates.

- No.

No, there is no one in my home,

no one at all.

Only a wretched, half-mad daughter,

ugly, cackle-voiced.

Please, she had done no wrong.

Oh, we've touched a sore spot.

We're on the trail now. Go, hurry

Yes, Great Wazir. Where do you live?

You refuse to answer?

You dare to refuse to answer?

May Allah curse you.

May calamity strike you.

May disaster overwhelm you.

May you be driven from this palace,

kicked into the road.

A curse on your head.

A curse on the head

of the Wazir of Police. Ah. Aah!

Exalted Wazir.

- Exalted Wazir, we have captured Jawan.

Let me go.

Let me go. Let me go.

There he is. The cheat.

The pretender of powers.

Let me tear out his liver.

Let me rip his belly to ribbons.

He removed a curse from me

for 100 pieces of gold.

And he swore I'd find my son

before this day was over.

Where, you dog of a thief,

where is my son?

Oh, mighty Wazir,

have your men release me.

Gaah!

Allah be praised. Allah is merciful.

And Mohammed is his prophet.

That amulet around your neck.

Oh, mighty Wazir,

answer an old man one question.

Where did you get it?

This amulet's been with me

since childhood.

At last I have found you.

Ali, my little Ali.

What does this mean?

I am your father.

Oh, Ali, the light of my soul.

I put that amulet around your neck

one week before you were kidnapped.

Look.

Here's the other piece.

See how they match.

Why, they fit perfectly.

Yes, of course.

Oh, forgive my taunts, Hajj the Beggar,

forgive me.

Allah be praised.

A man with the power to curse

and uncurse. A magician-beggar.

Oh, speak to me, speak to me.

My father's heart aches

for one word from its son.

I'll attend to you in a moment.

Oh! What a glorious end

to all of my search. Oh.

Speak to me, speak to me.

You are Jawan, the robber and murderer.

Is that true?

Yes, I'm too overcome

to say much more.

You said enough. You've confessed

to being a criminal of the worst sort.

Take him to the dungeons

and dispose of him.

But I am your father.

All the more reason to be rid of you.

For the leading judge of Mesopotamia...

...to have as a father the leading criminal

of Mesopotamia, a disturbing thought.

Oh, let me something other from

my sors lips than a sentence to death.

- To the dungeons with him.

- Oh, but my Ali. Just to be near my Ali.

My baby, my little baby.

Ali, Ali, the light of my life, my soul.

My sun, my stars, the moon.

Never have I seen

a more touching reconciliation.

- We can use this man.

- Yes.

Yes, I rather think so.

Have the kindness

to have your menials release me.

Oh. Yeah, you heard him,

release him. Heh.

Wait.

Wait, oh, what an idiot I am.

Did you not place a curse upon my head?

With all the venom you could summon?

What became of that curse?

What became of that curse?

Let all mouths close but mine.

Let all mouths close but mine.

The holy, the good, the wise,

the just, the omnipotent...

...the commander of the faithful.

Nenone al Raschid Ben Mohammet

ibn Khasimoun...

...the Caliph.

Arise, my subjects. Arise and rejoice.

Even the walls of my chambers

rejoice at Your Highness' presence.

Your Caliph rejoices

at the tidings he brings.

He is pleased to notify his Wazir

that he has chosen a bride.

See that the proper proclamations

are made.

Tell the foreign embassies

all candidates for the Caliph's hand...

...should return to their homes.

May every citizen

share his Caliph's happiness.

Ruined.

Ruined, hopelessly,

utterly, gracelessly ruined.

Who could have put this wicked spell

upon me? Who?

- The beggar.

- You sent for me?

You. It was you who did this.

Reverse my decision in the case

of Hajj the Beggar. Magician.

- Restore all his gold to him.

- Yes, Great Wazir.

Heh-heh.

Now, let's come to terms quickly.

How much to lift that curse of yours?

Forgive me, but I can do no more today.

Consider what I've already done.

Suppose we should raise you

to the rank of emir?

Emir? Me? An emir?

Lalume,

an emir is second only to me.

Don't haggle with the wizard.

He may take offense and turn you

into something worse than you are.

My daughter and I...

...members of the nobility.

But only if you undo the harm you've

caused and prevent the Caliph's marriage.

Prevent the Caliph's marriage?

Oh-ho-ho, but you are too kind.

It is overwhelming. What a day.

But how could one possibly refuse

such an offer?

And how can one possibly accept it?

Don't tell me you doubt your power.

Indeed I do.

As a matter of fact, each time it functions,

I am more and more astonished.

Still it does function. We've seen it.

Yes.

Yes, it does, doesn't it?

- Noble Wazir, I accept your offer.

- Done.

Great Wazir.

- Yes?

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