Kismet Page #4

---

to visit the Grand Vizier

only to be robbed?

I demand safe conduct.

and another elephant.

If your soul isn't too weasel

to stop this rat catching,

send a messenger to Mansur's palace.

And say the Prince of Hassir

has arrived with toot sweet.

On matters of great importance.

Very well, you shall have your escort

and you shall have your elephant.

But now...

- I want privacy.

- Very good, your highness.

Is that carpet for us?

No, that's for the elephant.

Tell the merchant the tax is direct.

Unless they pay it immediately,

it will be my personal pleasure

to roll their heads

through their bazaar.

What do you want?

How large a guard shall I prepare

for your visit to the royal court?

You should know

better than that, captain.

- But, milord.

- Forget the summons to court.

This young peacock is beginning

to spread his tail.

He just might send the police after me.

It'll give him a chance

to find out I'm the police.

What is it?

His royal highness, the Prince of Hassir.

Hassir, Hassir? He must come from

the far ends of the world.

That's the farthest corner

of the empire, my lord.

Did he send a messenger

for an appointment?

No, milord.

These heathens have customs

but no manners.

Yes, milord.

Let's give him a royal reception.

Let's amaze him with it.

I wonder what this barbarian wants

to have travelled so far.

His royal highness,

the Prince of Hassir.

I'll wager he's been preparing a long

speech all the way across the desert.

A long, horrible speech.

Welcome, your highness.

A wide brow proclaims an open heart.

May heaven trust me, your lordship.

I never ask prosperity

where it comes from.

Right, milord.

The devil could do you a good turn

now and then.

That they may be seated.

I have a contemptibly small gift.

My caravan is delayed.

So if you will accept this

in the meantime,

I would be most honored.

This is exquisite.

This is really fine.

- Good hands made this.

- Very young hands.

Is the design a copy?

Copy, milord? It's a creation.

She did all of it.

She?

It's a gift from the loveliest girl

in Hassir.

Perhaps in the empire.

If I guess right, there's a mission

you want me to perform.

- Is there, milord?

- Yes.

You want me to propose the lovely young

girl for the caliph's household.

Milord...

But you've come at a very bad moment.

The caliph does not love me

as he should.

At the moment.

Milord...

If I wish to visit the caliph,

I will visit the caliph.

Splendid, splendid, your gift honors me.

Will your highness honor me

by accepting eh...

These?

I am overwhelmed, your lordship.

Alfife.

The living isn't very good on the

journey from Hassir to Baghdad, is it?

I once knew a magician in your province.

His name was Abdul Laka.

How is he?

The one with a beard

like a field of ripe corn?

No, no, no, he had a short eh...

scruffy wisp of a beard.

Oh, that Abdul. The brigand.

He stole so brazenly, my executioners

had to cut his hands off.

- No.

- Bled to death in public.

That should teach him a lesson.

Let's drink to poor Abdul.

We have the finest wine,

music and dancing.

Dancing?

You like dancing?

It's the flowers on the mountaintop.

Then you're about to see the finest

in the kingdom. I have scores of them.

My kind of dancers don't come in scores.

- No?

- No.

I'll wager you haven't anything

like this in your pastures.

The girl who made you the gift

makes these look like swamphens.

Swamphens? These girls were selected

from every royal house in the empire.

Milord, my little girl would be a queen

among these.

Great dancing takes brains and heart.

Alfife.

I have a great dancer.

She has brains but no heart.

Say to her gracious majesty

I have a distinguished visitor.

The prestige of my court is sinking.

Say that I am pleading that she save

the glory of the court.

Your ladyship?

Well?

I'm commanded to request that you appear

in the hall of the white columns

and dance.

I'm very sorry.

I'm not in the mood for dancing.

But it is for a distinguished guest.

Must I call Hassan?

We've been robbed, lord.

Alfife, one moment, please.

The royal merchants have been robbed.

They want justice.

Tell them to wait.

I have troubles enough.

Quiet, quiet.

Her ladyship is not in the mood.

Salt of my ancestors! A man who

cracks a whip over an empire.

If I cracked a whip over this lady,

she'd take it right out of my hands.

It takes a great man to admit it.

She's a gift from Macedonia.

I can't offend Macedonia.

That sounds more like the caliph

than your lordship.

Well, upon my soul!

You all stay. Watch the dancing

and have some wine.

Why do you continue to deprive us of the

pleasure of your incomparable dancing?

Didn't Alfife tell you?

Doesn't the look of desperation in my

eyes soften your mood just a little?

I'm in a very pleasant mood.

Very.

I have a charming and

distinguished guest.

It's your luck that he pleases you.

Pleases me?

He scorns my dancing girls as swamphens.

Oh, a man of judgement.

Lady Jamilla, I have granted you

exceptional privileges.

You granted nothing.

You have an agreement with Macedonia

that I should do that thing.

And you have agreed never to come

to this tower except at my invitation.

I'm waiting patiently

for the invitation.

And as far as dancing is concerned...

You have ladies who dance

when you strike the gong.

I don't.

But, Lady Jamilla...

I give your lordship my answer politely.

It's outrageous hospitality.

He's had a long hard journey and we

mustn't disappoint the Prince of Hassir.

The Prince of Hassir?

Now, don't try to trick me.

There's no such thing under the sun

as the Prince of Hassir.

I'm absolutely certain.

There's no such man.

There's nothing more to be said.

Some day I'm going to cut your head off

even if I lose Macedonia.

Hassan has something important

to tell you.

Hassan? I'll see him.

She says there is no Prince of Hassir.

Lady of the Moonlight.

Lady of the what?

Well, she came down from

some celestial spot.

She didn't come down. She came up.

Marvelous.

Pity custom forbids my telling her so.

We are bigger than our customs.

Tell her so.

Don't be afraid.

She doesn't bite strangers.

Your lordship is great indeed.

Lady of the Moonlight.

You are ravishing.

I warned you to leave things

as they were.

How could you do this

terrible thing to me?

What have I done?

When you said you shouted my name

in the windows of all the palaces,

I knew it was nonsense but I loved it.

To me, you were all the romance

of old Baghdad.

When I was bored to exhaustion,

I could escape and find you.

You were priceless.

Jamilla, listen to me.

No, no, no.

This is farewell, my friend.

What a shame.

I am just as much

the Prince of Hassir as I ever was.

As much, no more.

You're a charming liar at times.

Don't be absurd.

The Grand Vizier doesn't roll out

the red carpet for stray vagabonds.

When my royal blood is up,

no one can deny me. And no one does.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes