Kissed Page #2

It was like diving into a lake:

Sudden cold, then silence.

Their bodies floated...

solemn and shimmering.

I watched their lives flow out...

who they were, what they had done.

My hands burned

like I was touching dry ice.

And all I could see...

was the light.

I looked right into it.

College. I learned everything I could...

the proper procedures,

techniques, and applications.

I was completely absorbed.

...and the fluid pressure from the body.

Be aware of the temperature...

The trocar.

Oh, God.

Cool!

Primary postmortem?

- Yup.

- Why?

I like the pictures.

Well, there's a newer edition out

in the bookstore.

Higher resolution photographs.

Are you a pathology student?

I've never seen you around before.

I work in a funeral home.

I'm studying embalming.

Really? You know that's really

the only way to know a corpse.

- Don't you think?

- I don't know.

Sure you do.

I mean, you see it all.

Don't you?

Where are you going?

Home.

I couldn't stop thinking

about what he'd said.

It was like he knew,

like he saw right through me.

Coffee, please.

Thank you.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Sit...

- Matt.

- Sandra.

I have something for you.

- Fifth edition.

- It's mine.

I'm a med student.

- What year?

- Actually, I'm not in med school right now.

I'm, you know, taking some time off.

So, how is it working at the funeral home?

It's a full-time job.

Why would you want to be an embalmer?

Because of the bodies.

What do you mean?

I make love to them.

Really?

Yeah, dead bodies.

You don't believe me, do you?

I believe you.

I've never told that to anyone.

- Men or women?

- Men.

Young men.

- Fresh corpses?

- Yes.

Do you climb on top of them?

- Yeah.

- And then...

Blood?

Yeah, it's essential.

You know, when you think about it,

sperm propagates life...

but blood sustains it.

Blood is primary.

Yes.

This is where I live.

You want to come in?

- Maybe another...

- Maybe another time.

- Okay.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- Oh, your bag.

Okay. Thanks. See you.

Bye.

I live in the basement.

Hi!

No.

Go around the front and down the steps

and I'll let you in.

- Okay.

- Okay.

The biographies of my life.

- One day I'll clean up around here.

- No, I like it.

Yeah?

She looks like you.

- You think so?

- Absolutely.

Those are sample bottles, from the school.

- Do you want to dance?

- No.

- I'm just not very good at it.

- Okay.

- Sorry.

- That's okay.

- Do you want a drink?

- No. Thanks.

I've never done this before.

That's okay.

It's all right.

Just lie back.

Just lie still.

That night I knew I couldn't give it up.

And I didn't think I would ever have to.

Why do you need to know all the details?

I'm just curious, that's all.

Anyone would be.

- That's the only reason?

- No.

I've never met anyone like you before.

You're totally different.

- Like an experiment?

- No, you're compelling.

You're complex...

you're complicated, you're dynamic...

You know?

I like you, Sandra.

I want to show you something.

I spent a lot of time here.

This is where I lost Carol.

What happened to her?

I don't know. Married somewhere.

I don't believe in marriage.

- Come on.

- Think about it.

Sex would get pretty stale.

And how would you know?

I don't want to know.

It's all one way.

- That's not true.

- They can't even feel anything.

Yes, they can.

I think you're drafting personalities

onto the corpses.

Then I guess I have

a pretty big imagination...

'cause I've never met two the same.

You could have a pretty big imagination.

Schizophrenics...

are able to manufacture

dozens of complex personalities.

- Thank you!

- Face it, it's all about control.

You create this history, this life, for them...

and then you have total control over them.

It has nothing to do with control.

What's this?

- Don't look at that.

- Why not?

Dates, times, frequency of occurrence.

Matt this is a record of everything I've done

in the last two weeks.

Yeah.

It's just based on the stuff you told me.

- You should be flattered.

- I'm not.

It's just something I use

to try to understand.

This is not going to help you

understand me.

It's not about...

facts and figures.

It's about crossing over.

By the time I get there, I'm out of myself.

It's more than this.

Hi.

- You scared the sh*t out of me!

- Sorry. You did it, didn't you?

So?

So what if I did?

Formaldehyde.

You got blood under your fingernails.

You know, I didn't have time for a manicure.

"Dean Rodrick English, 30.

"...on Tuesday, after a lengthy illness.

"Body can be viewed 1:00 to 3:00 p.m.

At the Wallis Funeral Home."

The obituaries? Matt what are you doing?

Michael Gazitias. 35.

Wednesday, in his sleep.

He's also at the Wallis Funeral Home.

Now...

did you sleep with these two guys?

You know, I don't f***

everything that's dead.

That's not what I meant.

Is it the same with each of them?

No!

Everyone is different. It's like in life.

Everybody is different.

It's the same in death.

How is it different?

Each of them has its own...

wisdom...

its own innocence, its happiness, its grief.

I feel everything from the body, okay?

I see it.

You see it?

It's like...

Iooking into the sun without going blind.

I am consumed.

So am I, Sandra.

- It's so noisy in here.

- I know.

And hot, like the beach.

I'll try the window again.

Goddamn deathtrap.

Stay here.

I can't.

Okay.

- I'll come back on Thursday. After class.

- Fine.

Fine.

- He was so young.

- Yes. Yes, indeed. Please.

He looks wonderful.

Better in death than in life.

I thank you for your kind words.

I must say, however,

that this young gentleman...

is the dedicated work

of my apprentice, Miss Larson.

Miss Larson, you possess a true talent.

Thank you.

- You could have had me fired.

- Sorry.

Can I watch you at the funeral parlor?

- You were just there!

- No, I mean at night...

- when you're alone...

- No way!

- Just once?

- No, it's my thing. It's private.

Stop.

I really need to talk to you.

I've been thinking about this a lot,

and I know what I have to do now. I just...

I don't know what to do.

I have to do it.

You have to do what, Matt?

I have to f*** a corpse.

Forget it!

Forget it!

This is not something

you force yourself to do!

- I need to do it! I have no choice.

- I need to do it.

- L...

- No.

Fine.

I'll get it.

Wallis Funeral Home.

It's me.

Matt?

Why are you calling me here?

Where are you? The line's really bad.

Look, skip your class tonight.

Just come straight over.

I can't.

Matt?

What's going on?

Nothing.

You didn't answer my calls all day.

I know. I'm sorry.

What's with the suit?

Forget it.

- Just indulge me.

- No, I don't want to.

Sandra, just try.

It's just a little thing.

- No, it's weird.

- Sandra, just stay on top.

- No, I really don't want to.

- It's okay.

Just calm down, it will be fine.

- Lf you just calm down, it will be...

- Don't!

- Just relax!

- Stop it!

Look, I just want to feel

what it's like from this position.

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