Klass Page #2

Synopsis: Mockumentary short film about two Dublin hair and beauty therapists. Followed by a camera crew, giving their expertise on how to beautify the world, needless to say that their tips and advise are somewhat different. These two youngones specialise in Debs, Communions and Funerals.
Year:
2007
10 min
100 Views


You'll get your ass kicked

every morning

and tell the class

that you are sorry!

And then we'll see

if we forgive you.

Every morning we'll kick your ass,

till we forgive you!

And not a single d*ckhead

will interfere!

So... Now you all

will go to the headmistress.

One by one.

Paul, you'll be the first.

- Why me?

Let's say - because you

are the best student in class.

You should know, what you do.

Kaspar, to the headmistress.

Take your seat.

Go on, Kaspar.

You asked for me?

- Yes. Come, have a seat.

How are you doing here,

in our school, Kaspar?

Okay.

- Very good.

What happened today

in your math class?

Somebody took

Joosep's notebook.

Who took it?

- I don't know.

Strange.

Paul told a different story.

What did Paul say?

Where do you sit

in the classroom?

Next to Joosep.

Now.

From today, right?

- Yeah.

And how did you not see,

who took the notebook?

It seems to me

that you are lying.

You know that

we have no obligation

to keep you in this school?

We could send you right back home

to your parents, to Antsla.

You took this notebook.

- Me?

Who said that?

- Paul.

Paul?

Paul took it.

- Doesn't that seem ridiculous to you?

Paul is the best student

in this class.

Why should he need the notebook

and why would he lie?

Why would I need it?

Why should I lie?

There are rumors

that you are teasing Joosep.

It is a lie.

I don't tease anyone.

Alright.

I will not investigate

this thing any further.

But remember

what I told your grandmother:

Bad grades, bad behavior -

country lad as you are,

you'll be out of this school.

Do you understand, Kaspar?

Yes.

You can leave.

What happened?

Thea

THE SNITCH DON'T EVEN APOLOGIZE?

Day Three

Okay, show time!

You, stay here.

Sorry, man!

Come on in!

Come on!

Come in, as we agreed...

What do you want?

- Come in.

Come on!

Show him!

What is going on here?

Take your seats!

Let's start.

So, girls...

Would you be able to take

a disabled person like Quasimodo

to be your husband,

instead of an important rich man.

Kerli would...

- Quiet!

Nobody would think of it,

voluntarily.

But Victor Hugo's romanticism

is all about making unexpected choices.

Romanticism was an era

and literary movement,

where people made

extraordinary decisions

and became great through that.

'The Hunchback Of Notre Dame'

is not the only piece...

Will the snitch

not apologize today?

Kaspar and Joosep, come out.

I must lock the door.

What shall we do now?

Let's go.

You f***, you thought that

you don't have to apologize today?

Say that you are

a d*ckhead and a snitch,

so that the girls hear you!

I can't hear you!

I am a d*ckhead and a snitch.

- I can't hear! You, girls?

Stop it.

- I can't hear you!

I am a d*ckhead and a snitch.

Is it normal that this guy

wears such shoes?

Are you a sportsman now?

- His mother is a sportsman.

Nerds don't wear these shoes!

Anyone got a knife?

- I have.

See, Joosep,

I really want what's best for you.

You know,

you are a crazy bastard.

Crazy bastards

don't wear Sebix shoes.

So, I want to help you

to get rid of a trademark

that doesn't suit you.

Okay, I give it back later.

Let's say, it is okay for today.

But tomorrow you will

apologize correctly. Got it?

Does anyone know, what are

the first words in the great book

'Adventures Of The Good Soldier

Svejk During The World War'?

OK, take your seats.

Wait...

Joosep, where are your shoes?

I don't have them.

What do you mean,

you don't have them?

How did you come to school?

I threw my shoes away.

- Threw your shoes away?

Why?

The trade mark was too noticeable.

I don't see the point here.

- You see, there are personalities

and people, who have trademark

items instead of a personality.

So, you are a personality now?

- I didn't say that.

But now everybody will see me,

not the trade mark I wear.

What a guy!

Enough!

So you think that

some Olympic Champions

or Chino Moreno

are also meaningless persons?

They get paid

for wearing trademark items.

But you pay for these items.

Joosep, you have another

rooster on your hoodie.

Enough!

Alright, enough of that!

Joosep, you're a failure!

At least,

now I'm honestly Joosep.

Well...

Take a seat.

But in spite of this

little action

against the consumer society...

We'll go on with the class.

How will you get home?

- What?

How will you get home?

I don't know.

Try these.

Joosep, wait!

So, what's up?

Tight?

- No, they are ok.

What you said in the class,

did you mean it?

Absolutely.

I think you should wear these

expensive shoes,

then they wouldn't

pick on you so much.

I definitely will not do that.

It is a principle.

Hi! You were supposed

to call me later.

But I wanted

to see you in person.

Of course,

you don't have time in school.

Yeah, that sucks.

Suddenly, what is it

with you and Joosep?

I didn't know

that you were such good friends.

We are not friends or...

Just...

But this fighting with other

boys, it is really stupid.

What should I do, then?

Just watch the others

beat him up?

But it used to be like that.

- I can't stop it now.

Keep on beating Joosep,

l'll just watch...

Thea, for the first time

in my life I feel...

That this is a matter of honor.

Well, hello...

Do you know what time it is?

Don't start, grandma. Please.

- Wait...

Have you eaten?

Kaspar?

Come to the kitchen,

l'll heat up the omelet.

So, where were you?

Walking with Thea.

Where did you walk?

Grandma, that really

is not your business.

When I get calls from school,

it really is my business.

Why did they call?

You are picking on

your classmates.

What nonsense is that?

- I got a call from school,

that you are picking on

someone named Joosep.

I am not...

I don't pick on anybody.

Kaspar... Do you know,

how much I want to believe you?

You come home at night.

You won't talk to me.

Kaspar, tell me...

You are not one of those,

who they write about?

Violent?

You really

don't understand anything.

But how can I be sure

that you are not lying to me?

Well, who is this Kaspar?

- He is not to blame.

But who is?

- What do you mean?

So, somebody is actually

teasing you?

Well?

- The whole class.

What?

- The whole class!

What talk is that?

- It's just how it is...

The whole class is never

picking on someone!

Usually there are

some leaders behind it.

And what do you do?

- What do you mean?

What do I mean?

Nobody picks on my boy, so that

I get phone calls from school!

My boy will fight back!

The man who does not fight back,

will be a loser one day.

Yeah!

But if you show them once,

they won't come at you again.

Do you understand?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Day Four

Joosep!

Wait!

Morning!

- Good morning.

Well?

- Well what?

It starts all over again?

You don't have to do that.

- No, too late.

Now we'll go to the end.

Remember what was here yesterday?

I'll go first.

We got Joosep.

Hold him!

F***, pushing me...!

Hold him!

F***, have you gone mad?

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Melissa Nolan

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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