Kolja Page #2

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Would you have wanted me

to live with strangers?

[ Scraping ]

Hey, Franta! Still fiddling for corpses?

And you? Still squeaking for gallbladder patients?

- Of course.

I've got to go. I'll be late for

the bus. Good-bye, Mrs. Loukova.

What's all this about corpses?

That's what we call

a concert audience...

when it's dead; when they don't respond.

It was blocked here.

Otherwise, the gutters

are in fairly good shape.

[ Softly ] Except for the odd spot.

Well, I'll be damned.

How did this get here?

It's not very valuable, Franta.

It's just a piece of costume jewelry.

- Where did you get this?

- I found it.

Mm-hmm,

mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And what do you think it's worth?

I really have no idea.

Well, look, I could give you five,

maybe ten crowns for it.

Thank you.

A couple's on your street

and they get into a fight.

She says, ''You and your two-bit

trinket can both go to hell!''

Enraged, she throws it in the air.

That's it.

- Mr. Broz, I think I agree.

- Of course.

There's no other explanation.

I mean, I agree to this

bogus marriage, I think.

You could talk to Nadezhda in German.

She's an interpreter

between German and Russian.

I'm afraid I speak neither.

That's just like you Czechs!

First you don't like Germans,

then you don't like Russians.

It's not that.

I just have no head for languages.

Anyway, who cares how

they talk together?

Every Czech knows some Russian.

[ Speaking Russian ] Every

Czech can speak a bit of Russian.

- Except me.

- [ Russian ] Except him?

Nobody will suspect.

What's important here...

is for Maestro Louka to

know there'll be no tricks.

Divorce in six months. I

promise you, that's all.

A fake marriage. Nothing hidden.

Nadezhda has a little son.

And she's young.

And you could be her father.

- What would she do with you?

-She's right.

[ In Russian ] Tamara, tell him...

it will be like a real wedding.

She says it'll be like

on a real wedding, so...

we must have a reception

and a wedding night.

Everything normalish,

like a normal wedding.

- A wedding night?

- The first night, you'll sleep together.

But in different rooms...

to avoid suspicion in

case you're followed.

Waiter, another vodka, please.

[ Whispering Hoarsely

] The down payment.

Do you have any idea what

bribes cost in Russia?

Come here.

Don't even ask.

[''Wedding March'']

[ Paper Rustling, Pen Scratching ]

Franta, I'm amazed.

Congratulations. The best of luck.

She's a beauty. A real beauty!

Must you play everywhere?

[Jazz ]

[ Woman Singing ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Man Yelling, Crowd Cheers ]

[ Woman Giggles ]

[ Laughing ]

Friends!

[ Speaking Russian ] Friends!

I like my wife Nadezhda very much.

[ Russian ] I like my wife very

much. [ Czech ] But of course!

- I have just decided...

- [ Russian ] I decided...

that Nadezhda and I...

shall together enjoy a real...

and truly beautiful wedding night.

- [ Russian ] What did he say?

- [ Russian ] Some joke.

Because it would be a great pity...

if a Czech man denied...

his Russian wife

her unde-- undeni--

- undeniable right.

- [ Russian ] Translate, Tamara.

I promise tonight...

I'll be hot-blooded as

any Russian Don Juan.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Russian ] Go screw your mother!

I'll be... [ Coughs ]

- a real Casanova!

- They don't understand your jokes.

They're terrified.

That's how it should be.

Every bride should be

terrified on her wedding night.

The baby's coming.

The contractions have started.

[ Russian ] She's having a baby.

The contractions have started.

Broz, look after the children.

[ Chattering ]

[ Tape Falters ]

[ Sighs ]

Nadezhda Ivanovna.

Wife of mine.

[ Locks Click Shut ]

- New, isn't it?

- It's used, Mom.

It looks pretty new to me.

No rust anywhere.

These cars never rust.

Then it was a good buy.

Look at all those Russians.

They're like locusts.

Would you believe it? Lots of

Czechs do business with them.

It's certainly cheaper.

Russian diesel, gasoline, coal.

Collaborating with the

occupiers! Such fine patriots.

[ Chuckling ] When

the Russians invaded...

people shook their fists;

said they wouldn't even give

them stale bread or water.

And look at them now.

A fine nation we are.

Can I give you a lift?

[ Klara ] Is this your dowry?

I see someone can't keep his mouth shut.

It's a nice car.

You're better off in more ways than one.

Look, this

marriage--

I'm not interested.

I live alone. Nothing has changed.

I'm such an idiot. I nearly

got divorced because of you.

Klara, let's go to my place.

Stop. I'd like to get out.

Klarena.

I'd really rather get out.

[ Sighs Deeply ]

[ Shifts Down, Brakes ]

I've done all your washing and ironing.

Great.

We're supposed to decorate

the windows. Put up some flags.

Christ, another Communist

anniversary? I can't keep up with them.

They're judging the

best-decorated building again.

My windows are too high for them to see.

Don't you believe it.

They watch us like hawks.

Put up one Russian

flag and one of ours...

so they leave me in peace.

That's 7 0 crowns.

I'll add it to the

You can have it right now.

- Right now?

- Yes.

- I don't have any change.

- Keep it.

Thank you very much.

- Hello.

- How do you do?

Mr. Stoklasa sent me.

He did, did he? Hold this.

Slowly, slowly!

And what was Mr. Stoklasa's message?

He wanted you to look me over.

That is, he wanted you to hear me play.

[ Grunts ] Decorating

for the anniversary?

Like hell. I've outgrown all that.

Like a drink?

Yes, please.

I play the viola, but I

want to play the cello.

- And what made you--

- Decide to switch?

- No.

- I like the fact that it's so big.

Uh-huh.

- You prefer big instruments, do you?

- Yes.

Play something, then.

Show me.

You've got long fingers. That's good.

[ Clears Throat ] You're

giving me butterflies.

Squeeze more with your knees.

That's it.

- Shall I play?

- Please.

- Like that?

- Play, play.

[ Telephone Ringing ]

Louka.

Which friend?

Right this minute?

Who's calling?

- Blanka.

- Yes?

We must make it some other time.

That's a pity.

Tell me about it.

- [ Mumbling ] Come to the Green Tree.

- What?

Come to the Green Tree!

Are we staying here or are we off again?

It's all right here.

So you're a spy. Is grave

digging just a hobby?

Mr. Louka, we're in deep sh*t.

- Nadezhda has emigrated.

- Where to?

- Germany.

- West Germany?

Mm.

She went as an interpreter...

and stayed there.

She has a guy there.

She's crazy about him.

I never told you about him.

Some businessman, married. I

thought he'd visit her here.

No sleeping! You're not at work!

- Why not go directly?

- From Russia to West Germany?

They're not allowed. Russians can

come here but they can't go there.

So how come she got there from here?

Because she has Czech

papers, thanks to you.

Going home? Fine, go then.

Also she left her son here,

so she was allowed to go.

Why go, if he's married?

That's not our problem, Mr. Louka.

The bad part is that the

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