Kolja Page #5

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- No, Misa.

Misa, of course!

- What are you up

to? - Well I play--

-[ Woman Speaking Over P.A.]

- I play in a sort of ensemble.

Jesus, the boy! Excuse me.

[ Air Hissing From Train ]

[ Electrical Sparking ]

A five year old boy is lost on

Line B. He does not speak Czech.

- His name is.... Kolya.

- Kolya.

He should be taken to the

supervisor at any station.

[ Speaking Bad Russian ] Donut

be skary and donut going nowhere.

You must to stay in metro

but we find you. Hello.

End of message in Russian language.

[ Sandals Squeaking ]

[ Air Hissing From Train ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Loud Groan ]

[ Air Hissing From Train ]

[ Stairs Banging Metal Guard ]

The shoes.

Kolya!

You gave me such a fright.

[ Sighs ]

That wasn't a phone call.

It was a phone scream.

It was all this, ''Kolya, my baby!''

When I said her aunt was dead...

and that you had him she almost

fainted. She wanted to come...

but I talked the idiot out of it.

I told her they'd send her

straight to a camp in Siberia.

- What about the Red Cross?

-She applied for the boy...

and there are international

agreements on mothers and kids.

Oh-- She sends

you her greetings.

[ Louka ] That's very nice of her.

[ Kolya Chattering ]

- [ Door Squeaking ]

-[ Russian ] Hello, Grandma.

[ Russian ] It's me, Kolya.

Can you hear me? [ Crying ]

We went to see you but you were asleep.

Please come back, Grandma.

Come on.

Zuzi? It's Louka.

I suddenly felt so

lonely and guess who--

Can you talk? He's in Warsaw?

Lucky you.

Oh, he's washing!

He takes his time in there, doesn't he?

Listen, I'm looking after a Russian kid.

Russian. Belongs to a

violinist from Leningrad.

He can't sleep.

You teach Russian. Could

you read him a story?

-[ Throwing Slippers On Floor ]

- Anything. He's five.

Go and find something. I'll wait.

She's a teacher.

[ Russian ] A fairy tale.

The Eagle and the Lamb.

Fantastic! I'll give him the phone.

Kolya Bilyukov.

[ Russian ] No, I'm

not scared of eagles.

[ Zuzi, Reading Russian ] ''High on a

Caucasian Mountain peak lived an eagle.

''One day he flew so high...

''he reached a star.

''On that star there was a little house.

''In the house lived an

old sheep and her lamb.

'''I came for a visit,' said the eagle.

'Let's see how you live here.'''

[ Russian ] Beautiful.

Thanks, Zuzi.

You left them here?

Black lace ones?

You went home without your panties?

No, I'd have noticed them.

I'd like to see you too,

Zuzi, but I can't right now.

I'll call you.

[ Hangs Up Phone ]

[ Louka Playing Classical ]

[ Biting Apple ]

[ Russian ] Hello.

What's your name?

My name's Kolya.

-[ Louka Picking Cello Strings ]

- Do you want some bread?

- Get out of here.

- [ Stops Playing ]

[ Louka ] Don't feed

them. They'll take over.

And shut the window. There's a draft.

Scram!

[ Kolya Singing ]

[ Singing Continues ]

He maketh me to lie

down in green pastures

He leadeth me

Beside the still waters

[ Singing Continues ]

[ Louka Continues Playing ]

[ Stops Playing ]

What are you doing?

[ Russian ] Your job.

[ Sighs ]

That's enough.

[ Kolya Shouting ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Louka ] We're up as high as the birds.

High up like birds.

[ Inhaling, Exhaling Deeply ]

His mommy isn't at home?

She's abroad at the moment.

He must have antibiotics.

Every four hours. Set your alarm clock.

And a quarter aspirin

as well. You have some?

Yes.

There's a danger of meningitis.

If the fever continues,

apply cold compresses.

-[ Doctor ] You can do that?

- Yes, of course.

-[ Kolya Whispering ]

- Will your wife be away long?

Probably.

You'll need a note for your employer.

- [ Whispering Continues ]

- Yes, maybe.

[ Soft Chiming ]

[ Classical ]

[ Loud Orchestra ]

[ Soft Chiming ]

[ Panting ]

[ Bell Tolling ]

This will feel a bit cold.

Hold on, it's going to be all right.

You'll be all right now.

Thank you, Klara. I'm

sorry I called you so late.

- That's okay.

- No, really, I mean it. Thanks a lot. Good night now.

No need to see me off.

I'm staying 'til morning.

What will you say at home?

That an old flame of mine had a child.

And he couldn't cope.

A magpie or a jay.

They steal shiny things.

[ Hiccups ]

You're right. Nobody thought of that.

It's still beautiful,

even if it's worthless.

When I said Jan and I

couldn't have children,

I didn't mean that I can't.

You must have misunderstood.

When is he supposed

to take his next pill?

At five. I set the alarm.

[ Bell Chimes ]

You're less selfish than I thought.

I never imagined you'd worry like

this about someone else's child.

Neither did I.

[ Coughs ]

[ Klara ] Weren't you afraid...

to go through with the fake marriage?

You, a victim of political persecution.

I'm not a victim of

political persecution.

Just a victim of my own stupidity.

They used to let me go to the West.

One time, the Party Officer said,

''Your brother has

emigrated but we trust you.''

When I returned, I had to

fill in the usual forms.

One of the questions was,

''Did you meet an emigr?''

I wrote, ''Yes.''

Then it said, ''State in

detail what you discussed.''

And I just wrote, ''Just the

usual sh*t, Comrade Blaha.''

- Is that all?

- I guess he felt hurt.

And I thought you'd

done something heroic!

Pathetic, isn't it?

You filled that form out perfectly.

- [ Kissing ]

-[ Glass Bangs Table ]

[ Inhales, Exhales Deeply ]

I'd like you to have this.

That's nice. And you've

stopped drawing coffins.

[ Russian ] Telephone story.

Telephone story.

Oh, a story?

Let's call our teacher Auntie.

[ Russian ] ''The Eagle and the Lamb.''

Could I have the one about the eagle?

I liked that one.

[ Hangs Up Phone ]

It was the Uncle.

He's no good at stories.

We'll have to manage alone.

Once upon a time, there

was a grandpa and a grandma.

[ Russian ] A grandpa and a grandma.

They had a grandson

who was named Budulinek.

One day Grandma said,

''Budulinek, my dear...

''We're going into town.

You'll stay here on your own.

Don't open the door for anyone at all.''

[ Russian ] Don't open

the door for anyone.

That's it. And so they left.

[ Bird Squawking ]

Otters lived here once.

[ Russian ] What's otters?

You and your questions!

It's an animal about this

big, with whiskers like me.

These otters caught trout.

-[ Russian ] What's trout?

- They're fish.

[ Russian ] Fish!

But because the water is

poisoned now by acid rain--

You won't understand

because I don't myself--

the fish died.

[ Russian ] Fish kaput?

So the otters died too.

[ Russian ] Otters also kaput?

So now you have the Otter River...

with no otters in it!

-Jesus Christ!

- [ Chuckles ]

[ Men Singing In German ]

Some East German is

celebrating his birthday.

[ Russian ] What's ''birthday''?

That's the day you're born.

[ Russian ] And when

will I have a birthday?

Well, when were you born?

You're five, yes, but

when were you born?

[ Russian ] I don't know.

It's hard to celebrate your birthday

if you don't know when it is.

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