Koning van Katoren Page #4

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with a huge bang, colouring the sky.

And all Katoren loved it.

And then there'd be dancing and

singing as if there was no tomorrow.

That was my dose of melancholy

for today. What are you here for?

- You were editor-in-chief.

- So what?

I wondered

what it was like back then.

Katoren Press,

journalism and all that.

Journalism and all that.

And you want to be a journalist?

Sit down.

Alright, start the interview.

Yes?

Stach, do you want her to write about

your smile or about your mission?

But my things...

My voice recorder,

I need a voice recorder.

Here, your voice recorder. Write.

Yes, go ahead.

- Why do you want to become king?

- Why don't you ask: How's your head?

How's your head?

Very well. Just great.

Except for a slight concussion

and the loss of a piece of eyebrow.

Nice of you to ask.

Stach's becoming your friend now.

That's how easy it is. Next question.

- How will you defeat the dragon?

- Why not ask about his eyebrow?

The reader doesn't have a clue.

Go on.

- Stach.

- Yes.

- Can you tell us what happened?

- I was exploring the swamp of Smook.

And then that beast grabbed me.

- Right, right. Come, now you.

- I was very stupid.

Someone gave me advice,

but I didn't listen.

It was my own fault.

That's very honest of you.

Go on.

Do you think it's an important

quality for a king to be honest?

Yes, absolutely.

I thought it was so wonderful.

The music, and when they

yelled my name at the feast.

- Everybody was so happy.

- Yes.

- So why do you want to become king?

- Yes.

Well, that. King Stach.

King Stach.

You heard them, right? The girl

with the knob nose, the whole village.

It just felt so good to be able to help.

Weren't those Taras just awful?

And those people in Ecumene,

wasn't that bizarre?

They could all sing,

but listen to each other...

No way.

It's bringing people together,

really.

I don't know

if that answers your question.

This was an exclusive interview by

our reporter Kim in Smook, Katoren.

There you go.

That was very good.

- What's that?

- That's the old national anthem.

The ministers banned it years ago.

from Decibel to Scaffoldwood

from Weapenfield to Wiss

the kingdom of Katoren

will always remain dear to me

a king for his people

a people so proud and brave

to Katoren I'll stay true

Stach, I will help you

get rid of the monster.

But it's quite a problem,

as it's not just any assignment.

You see, kid,

the dragon is the only obstacle...

that keeps the ministers

from invading Eltoren.

- Invading Eltoren?

- Yes, kid. War.

It's been their aim

ever since the king died.

Okay, hold on. So I kill the dragon

and there will be war?

Yes.

The only way to prevent it is...

a new king.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the firework factory.

The Ministry of War thought the dragon

could be destroyed from outside...

by dropping loads of bombs on it,

but that doesn't help at all, of course.

We can only destroy

the beast from inside.

We'll put all the gunpowder we have

in the things the dragon likes...

and then we'll go and destroy it.

Have you finished the interview?

- I'm almost done.

- If you want me to review it...

- Yes, I'd like that.

- Yes.

- What?

- Nothing. Journalists' shoptalk.

Well, kid. So?

Everything in the car?

Yes.

We have to figure out what the best

way is to feed the stuff to the dragon.

Here, look.

Two flares and a flare gun.

Just in case.

You have to shoot it straight

in its mouth. Yes, got it? Good.

- How will we get the stuff in the swamp?

- As I said, we'll see tomorrow.

Good night, kid.

Stach.

Janus is gone.

He left with the truck, Stach.

Stach, I have to tell you something.

- I did something very stupid.

- Don't worry.

Janus.

Janus.

- Hush, don't make any noise.

- What did you do?

This was the only way.

He's eaten all of it.

I'm stuck.

Just leave me here.

The dragon has to go

and you'll become king.

Here, kid.

Don't.

Go, before he wakes up.

And that girl Kim...

That Kim is okay.

Now move. Go on, kid.

The first troops

will be in position tomorrow.

Once it's been confirmed,

our first infantry will cross the border.

Here, look.

The Wisser Daily.

'Stach does it again. '

And the Gazette.

'Stach defeats the dragon. '

Here, one about your next assignment:

'Stach ready for Pantaar. '

Are you okay?

How's your story coming along?

It's done. Want to read it?

- Do you have a headline yet?

- 'Janus Kaminsky, Hero of Katoren. '

What's the matter?

I'm not a journalist.

- I mean, I'm a trainee.

- You're a trainee. Oh, that's terrible.

Are you okay?

How dare you?

I always wanted

to become a journalist.

So when my father told me he could

arrange a job at the Katoren Press...

- You know what I mean?

- Nice father. No.

That nice father...

is the Minister of Policy.

That text message to the Taras.

That was me.

First he asked me to keep

the ministry up to date. Then...

I wanted to tell you everything.

Really, but I...

So all that time you...

I don't get it. You...

- But you don't understand. My...

- Stop.

Stop.

- I don't want to hear you.

- Stach, please.

Shut your mouth.

I don't want to see you

ever again.

Stach, Stach.

Stach, open up, please.

Let me explain.

Open the door. Please, Stach.

Hello, I'm looking for the mayor.

Come in.

Rucksack

under the coat-rack, please.

Here.

A letter for the ministers.

- I'm Stach, from Wiss.

- I know who you are.

I know why you're here.

- Pantaar.

- What did you say?

- You're here for Pantaar, aren't you?

- Yes, exactly. That's what it said.

'Free the people of Equilibria

from Pantaar. '

No idea what that means,

but I'm sure you can tell me.

Take the letter and go.

I don't want to make use

of your service. It's all in there.

The ministers will have to give you

another assignment.

Why?

- Am I not making myself clear?

- Yes, but...

The last boat has already left.

You can stay for the night.

Forget Pantaar.

At a specially convened press

conference the cabinet declared...

that it's very concerned about

the situation at the Eltorean border.

'Nobody wants war, of course,'

the Minister of Policy emphasized.

'But we have to take the information

of our intelligence service seriously. '

Good morning.

You haven't made it gemtlicher

in Katoren by slaying that dragon.

consul of Eltoren expelled

Don't worry, I don't think

it will really come to war.

Is there anything else

I can do for you?

The first boat

leaves in two hours.

That Pantaar...

what does he do exactly?

I have to go.

Don't forget the letter

to the ministers.

Page three, top right corner.

minister's daughter

home again

Today I saw this lady...

- Do you know Rafenburg Street?

- Straight ahead to the right.

She was confused.

I think that's the right term.

She's always like that.

My neighbour warned me: 'Take

a normal dog, like everyone else. '

But no,

I had to get a pedigree dog.

She just stayed inside.

How can I love an ordinary dog?

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