Korso

I bought the top yesterday.

Hi, mum.

Why aren't you in bed?

I was just going.

I have a night shift tomorrow.

Good night.

Fair maiden, when you grew up

under your father's roof

A hobo took your virginity

inside a portaloo

Happy birthday, old geezer!

Twenty years!

Markus! Let me go!

I mean it! I'm gonna be late!

F***ing hell!

Testo rules. Hey, don't!

Where's my present?

You owe me at least three presents,

Who's counting?

Happy birthday, bozo!

There's pizza in the fridge.

Happy birthday.

Bye then.

- Bye!

What did you do to your hair?

- Nothing.

Did you dye it?

You washed it!

F*** you.

- Let's do it.

Vn, did you drink all my beers?

My birthday beer!

- No worries, we've got time.

What am I supposed to drink?

- There's sugarwine.

This isn't drinkable yet.

- You're right.

That's your last one.

Shouldn't sixth-formers drink wine?

- Eh?

Our Finnish teacher thinks

Heta should apply.

What's that about?

- I'm not sure I'll apply.

You'll turn into a tosser

like all sixth-formers.

You don't need the sixth form,

you're already a tosser.

Girl, you nicked it!

- I did not!

Okay. Hartikainen saw me

but didn't say anything.

Better not get pissed

and start snogging anyone.

We'd have made it

if you hadn't stopped to take a leak!

One minute past!

- What a f***ing birthday!

Where's the party?

- Hey, girls!

Can we tag along?

- It's his birthday,

give him a pity f*** at least.

I like your shirt! I could pick it up

from my floor tomorrow.

Can we even afford a pint each?

What a wingman!

- Come on, they weren't gonna put out.

They could have invited us

to their party.

That chick looked really familiar.

I know, she was Hrknen's sister!

Get the f*** out of here!

- Look, it's Murikka.

Hey, Murikka. I think that's enough.

What did he do?

The entry fee is five euros.

- It's always been free!

Today it's a fiver.

- Why?

Do you take meal vouchers?

- No,

When I get to New York,

I'll find a flat

where you can lie in bed

and see the skyscrapers.

A lemon, makes it fresher.

- Buy a proper liquor cabinet as well.

Yeah, for parties.

- And the top 5 of guests includes

Megan Fox and Cameron Diaz...

No, Cameron is way too old.

Who's the chick with the amazing lips?

Mila Kunis is mine.

- I'd do her!

She'd do me, not you!

And Prince. Let's invite him, too.

What the f***?

- He's not a chick.

Just an idea,

You're useless,

That was close,

Who can make the shot?

The trajectory...

It was f***ing perfect.

But you're the star.

Show us how it's done.

F***, that was smooth. Great shot.

Right in the middle.

Height is overrated.

The Professor is 178 cm

and one of the best players

in the world,

Of course the blokes in NBA

are huge as f***,

but Nate Robinson is the same height.

- 175.

175 cm.

- And dunks like nobody's business.

But all the real talent is in

streetball these days. You know why?

It's creative,

You're free. You can do what you want.

You have your own style.

No coaches telling you how to play.

Hartsa?

Wake up, Hartikainen.

Vn, let's play.

You look like a f***ing nightmare.

- I should drink less.

You're pathetic.

- I hallucinated this morning.

Baby Shaq was taking a piss

in our bathroom,

Baby Shaq, the basketball player?

- Yeah. It felt so real.

This is Jojo. And my brother, Markus.

Hi,

Catch you later.

- I'll call you.

What the f*** are you up to?

- Look who's talking!

I heard something funny.

Murikka founded a company,

Weirdox Ltd,

Opened accounts in shops

and maxed out the credit,

The three biggest hardware shops.

Bought stuff for30 grand

and sold them for half the price.

That makes 15 grand or something.

People are so stoked

when a Finn goes to Hollywood.

Antti Jokinen, for example. Big deal!

In the States they make at least

a thousand films a year.

Who's the spook?

Is Heta into development aid?

Didn't Renny's films do okay?

- Renny Harlin?

He knows the right people

but he's got no vision.

I didn't say he had.

Nice!

Watch it!

You've had a few beers, then?

1,257 cans. All different.

- Really?

I want a house whose lounge wall

is all covered with these.

I've calculated that

6,000 cans should be enough.

Did you calculate

how to buy the house?

I'm still working on it.

What's up with you two?

- You're a nifty player.

Talking to me?

- I saw a streetball event in Tiksi,

My mates were playing.

- In Tiksi?

I see. The only real

streetball event is Ball Up.

You know? The tour in the States,

They scout the streets for players.

They've found many stars that way.

Markus has been saving up

for a long time.

Not that long.

- For real?

Yeah, I figured I could participate.

- In the States?

The next open run

is in New York in two weeks,

And you're going?

- Hell yeah.

You need talent,

but then it's just hard work.

Hey, we should go.

Does Markus go to trade school?

- He dropped out,

He's got the same upper lip

as all chavs. Like this...

And when they show off,

they're like this...

Give it a rest already.

Baby, don't get upset.

What?

Stand back!

There's a shitload of them!

- I told you!

Throw them there.

Right there.

I could use a shag. To warm me up.

Only two more hours.

How much do you think they're worth?

- At least 200 if we're lucky.

Alrighty then.

Is that money I smell?

- This'll take a while.

We're f***ing geniuses.

What the f***?

- Try the other one.

It won't accept this one either.

- The machine is broken!

Estonian cans have no deposit.

What do you mean?

- No deposit!

I dragged these cans here,

and you won't pay?

Life sucks sometimes.

- What did you say? F***ing hipster!

Come over here and say that again!

- Let it go.

Fivers each...

- What?

Is this it?

- Some change, too. A couple of euros.

I don't believe this sh*t.

That's f***ing Korso for you.

No use even trying.

Is Murikka around?

Murikka, do you have a minute?

- No.

Don't you get it?

It's important.

- Piss off!

I wasn't talking to you.

- What did you say?

Artsi, go and buy Ruusu a pint.

What do you want, ball boy?

I need work.

What can you do?

I could carry...

Turn off that f***ing music!

I could carry something...

...or shovel...

- Shovel,

Or clean, or anything.

How much were you thinking of?

Agrand.

You've got balls.

What do you want me to do?

We'll figure it out.

But hey, this was great.

Great.

Are you f***ing crazy? From Murikka?

- Where else?

It's no payday loan.

He'll kill you if you don't pay back.

I'll pay him. And it's not urgent.

- Are you really a match for them in

New York? - I just have to practice.

They're not all doing pirouettes.

Take the bounce dunk, for example.

You just have to practice

step-by-step. First three strides,

ball to the floor, jump,

and then you just dunk.

'You just dunk? '

- Mttnen on the left!

Hult, you know you can't eat here.

Ordoes Hult the Hooligan

miss the school?

Who cares about your classes, wanker.

- Right!

What are you gonna do?

Your countdown has begun, too.

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