Kramer vs. Kramer Page #7

BILLY:

(worried)

Mom, I mean dad...

TED:

(his mind elsewhere)

Uh huh...

BILLY:

That's not the right soap. We

use the kind in the green and

yellow box.

TED:

C'mon, there's not much difference--

BILLY:

(firmly)

We use the green and yellow.

Ted looks at his son for a moment, then carefully

replaces the detergent that he had originally picked

and reaches for the green and yellow kind. They continue

on for several steps and Ted stops again, this time

looking for a dishwashing liquid. He starts to reach

for one, stops, looks around at Billy.

Billy shakes his head.

Ted points to another.

BILLY:

(shaking his head

again)

The pink stuff.

Ted takes a bottle of the pink stuff, puts it in the

shopping cart and consults his shopping list.

TED:

Okay, what color cereal do we

get?

CUT TO:

46 EXT. PLAYGROUND, CENTRAL PARK - DAY

WIDE SHOT--It is that same afternoon and Billy (his

clothes are much dirtier by now) is running back and

forth with a group of other children.

MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)

Walk him over to Bethesda Fountain

and buy him an ice.

ON TED--He sits on one of the playground benches, the

work he took from the office stacked beside him on the

bench. Sitting next to him is a personable-looking man

of about Ted's age. He is nattily dressed in a suit

complete with vest, tie and polished Gucci loafers.

We will call him THE SATURDAY FATHER.

Note:
The Saturday Father and his daughter (a pretty

young girl of about ten) will appear from time to time

throughout the film. He is a divorced father, putting

in his time, not giving a sh*t about the child. The

Saturday Father insists on treating Ted as though they

were members of the same secret fraternity. And he

comes to represent Ted's nightmare of what might happen

to him.

TED:

(looking in the

direction of the

voice)

What?

SATURDAY FATHER:

Walk him over to Bethesda Fountain,

buy him an ice. It'll kill

twenty minutes.

TED:

I've got a lot more than twenty

minutes to kill.

SATURDAY FATHER:

Tough...

(checking his watch)

...I get off duty at five-thirty.

(bored, anxious to

make conversation)

How long you been divorced?

TED:

(surprised)

Three months. How can you tell?

SATURDAY FATHER:

You've got that look. My lady

and I split two years ago in

August and I'm an old pro at

this sh*t. First thing, stay away

from the Children's Zoo. It's

pure hell--if I never see another

chicken, I'll be happy.

(calling out to his

daughter O.S.)

I'm here, darling. Don't worry...

CLOSER ON TED--finding this distinctly unpleasant.

He glances around, looking for Billy.

HIS P.O.V.:
The sprinkler area. Other children are

running around, but there is no sign of Billy.

TED:

(calling out)

Billy?

HIS P.O.V.:
Another area of the playground. Billy is

nowhere in sight.

WIDER ON TED--as he grabs his stuff and starts toward

the exit of the playground.

TED:

(louder)

Billy?

HIS P.O.V.:
Looking in another direction. Nothing.

WIDE ON TED--standing among a crowd of people just out-

side the entrance to the playground. He is looking

around wildly.

TED:

Billy?!

HIS P.O.V.:
There in the distance is Billy Kramer,

running as hard as he can away from Ted.

ON TED, TRACKING IN FRONT OF HIM--as he starts to chase

after Billy.

HIS P.O.V.:
TRACKING FORWARD--It is clear that Billy

is running with a purpose.

TED (V.O.)

Billy!

Billy pays no attention to him.

ON TED, TRACKING IN FRONT OF HIM--as he continues to

chase his son.

HIS P.O.V.:
TRACKING FORWARD--Closer now, we can SEE

that ahead of Billy is a woman that, from behind, looks

remarkably like Joanna.

CLOSER ON TED--as he realizes what is about to happen.

CLOSER ON BILLY--catching up to the woman.

BILLY:

Mommy! Mommy!

A moment later he gets close enough to grab onto her

skirt. As the woman turns around:

C.U. WOMAN--quite clearly it is not Joanna.

CLOSE UP BILLY--His face becomes impassive again. All

the excitement vanishes.

BILLY:

Oh. I thought you were my mommy.

C.U. TED--His face reveals all of the pain that

Billy's can't.

CUT TO:

47 INT. CLASSROOM, NURSERY SCHOOL - DAY

CLOSE ON A HOMEMADE CURTAIN--as it opens and Billy

Kramer, wearing an outsized moustache, a makeshift cape

and a stovepipe hat made from construction paper. He

stands for a moment, looking around, finally he spots

someone, grins and begins waving.

HIS P.O.V.:
across the room eighteen to twenty

mothers (Ted Kramer is the only man present) are gathered,

sitting on tiny chairs and at work tables watching as

their children put on a show.

ON BILLY--Suddenly he forgets his lines, looks around

nervously. A moment later a very pretty young teacher

leans over, whispers in his ear.

TEACHER:

Ladies and gentlemen...

BILLY:

Ladies and gentlemen...

TEACHER:

Welcome to the greatest show on

earth.

BILLY:

Welcome to the...

(he forgets again)

REVERSE ON TED--He leans forward mouthing the words as

the teacher prompts Billy.

TEACHER:

Greatest.

BILLY:

Greatest...

TEACHER:

Show.

BILLY:

Show...

TEACHER:

On earth.

BILLY:

On earth.

Ted breathes a sigh of relief, his son having gotten

through it.

CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THE CHILDREN PUTTING ON THE SHOW

AND TED KRAMER SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE WATCHING--A look

of total pleasure on his face. From time to time when

Billy does something particularly difficult, Ted nudges

the woman next to him.

Note:
In all of the shots of Billy we SEE the teacher

there guiding, helping, over and over and over we cannot

help but notice how attractive she is. Toward the end

of the show Ted's P.O.V. occasionally follows the teacher

rather than the child.

DISSOLVE TO:

WIDE SHOT--The show is over and the parents and children

mill around eating popcorn, drinking lemonade from paper

cups. Ted stands off to one side, talking to the teacher

as Billy runs around.

CLOSER IN ON THEM:

TEACHER:

Mr. Kramer, I just wanted to tell

you what a wonderful boy your son

is.

TED:

(clearly attracted

to her)

I don't know...I've been worried...

(glancing around,

making sure Billy

is out of earshot)

I mean, with what he's been through

and everything. I--

TEACHER:

(solicitously)

No...No...Billy is doing just fine.

TED:

(giving himself

a few points)

Well, you know it's not easy

raising a kid on your own and

I thought if we could get

together and, uh, discuss--

At that moment one of the class mothers interrupts,

reaches across Ted and takes hold of the teacher's hand.

WOMAN:

(effusive)

Barbara! Congratulations! When

is the baby due?

TEACHER (BARBARA)

Oh, God. Not 'til August.

CLOSE ON TED--inadvertently glancing at the teacher's

stomach, nothing shows.

ON THE TEACHER--as she turns back to Ted.

TEACHER:

Excuse me. You said you wanted

to talk, Mr. Kramer.

TED:

(embarrassed)

Yes, but...ah, not now...

(checking his watch)

I've got an appointment...I forgot

all about it...

As Ted begins beating a hasty retreat,

CUT TO:

48 EXT. STREET - DAY

ON TED, TRACKING IN FRONT OF HIM--as he walks down the

street carrying a large and elaborate papier mache art

thing that Billy made in school.

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