Kung Fu Panda Page #2

You doubt my prison security?

Absolutely not.

Shifu does.

I'm just the messenger.

I'll give you a message

for your Master Shifu.

Escape from Chorgom prison

is impossible!

Impressive isn't it?

Yes, very impressive.

It is very impressive.

One way in.

And one way out.

One thousand guards

and one prisoner.

Yes, except that prisoner is Tai Lung.

Take us down.

Ahh...ahh...ahh...ahh

Oh...oo...oh..

Oh my...

Behold Tai Lung.

I'll umm...I'll just

wait right here.

It's nothing to worry about.

It's perfectly safe.

Crossbows!

At the ready.

Crossbows?

Hey, tough guy.

Did you hear...

Oogway is finally going to give

someone the Dragon Scroll...

...and it's not going to be you.

What are you doing?

Don't get him mad.

What is he going to do about it?

I've got him completely immobilized.

Haa...haa...haa...haa!

Oh...Did I step on

the wittie kitty’s tail?

I'm gonna... I've seen enough.

I'm gonna tell Shifu that he

has nothing to worry about.

No, he doesn't.

Okay I'll tell him that.

Hmm...

Can we please go now?

Oh. Wait a second.

I think there has been

a slight mistake.

Err...Everyone seems

to think I'm err...

Ahh...The sacred Hall of Warriors.

No way.

Look at this place.

Master Flying-Rhino's armour.

With authentic battle damage!

Wow...the Sword of Heroes.

Said to be so sharp, you can cut

yourself just by looking ... Aah!...Oww!

The invisible Dragon of Destiny.

Uuhhs... I've only seen paintings

of that painting.

Aah...ah...ha...ha...ha...

Heeyah...yah.. Aah...ah...ah..

Noo..! Ho...oh, oh, oh...

The legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors.

Said to contain souls of the

entire Tenshu army.

Hello?

Have you finished sightseeing?

Sorry. I should have

come to see you first.

My patience is running thin.

Ohh?

Well. I mean, it's not like

you are going anywhere.

You turn around.

Sure.

Hey, how is it going?

How do you get 500...Master Shifu!... Ooh!...

Ohh...whooo...

Someone broke that...

But I'm going to fix it...I...

Do you have some glue...

Whooo....

Aah...ouch...ooo!

I've a splinter.

So you are the legendary Dragon Warrior?

Hmm...

Ahh, I guess so?

Wrong!

You are not the Dragon Warrior.

You will never be the Dragon Warrior...

... until you've learned the secret

of the Dragon scroll.

Wow...so...

How does this work?

Do you have a ladder?

a trampoline or...?

Umph...You think it is that easy?

That I'm just going to hand you

the secret to limitless power?

No! I...

One must first master the highest

level of Kung Fu

and that is clearly impossible

if that one is someone like you.

Someone like me?

Yes!

Look at you!

This fat blob. Flabby arms.

Those are sensitive.

in the flabby parts.

And this ridiculous belly.

Hey...whooo...

And utter disregard for personal hygiene.

Now wait a minute.

That's a little uncalled for.

Don't stand that close. I can smell your breath.

Listen, Oogway said that I was the...

Uh... the Wushi Finger Hold.

Never... Master Shifu don't...

Haa...oh... You know this hold?

Developed by Master Wushi in the

Oh. Then you must know what happens

when I flex my pinky.

No, no, no...

You know the hardest part of this?...

The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.

Humm...

Okay. Okay, take it easy.

Now listen closely, Panda.

Oogway may have picked you,

but when I'm through with you,...

I promise you,

you're going to wish he hadn't.

Are we clear?

Yes, we're clear, we're clear.

We are so clear.

Good. Hmm, Hmm, Hmm.

I can't wait to get started.

Let's begin.

Wait, wait, wait.

Now?

Yes now.

Unless you think that the great Oogway was

wrong and you are not the Dragon Warrior.

Okay. Well, I don't know

if I can do all of those moves.

Well, if we don't try,

we will never know, will we?

Yes, it's just, maybe we can find

something more suited to my level.

And what level is that?

Well you know...

I'm not a master, but

let's just start at zero.

Level zero.

There is no such thing as level zero.

Hey, maybe I can start with that.

That. We use that

for training children.

And popping the door

open when it is hot.

But if you insist.

Wow... The Furious Five.

You're so much bigger

than your action figures.

Except for you, Mantis.

You're about the same.

Go ahead, Panda.

Show us what you can do.

Ahh...Are they going to watch? Or should I just

wait until they get back to work or something?

Hit it.

Okay, I mean, I just ate,

and so I'm still digesting, so my

Kung Fu may not be as good as later on.

Just hit it.

What'd you got?

You've got nothing cos' I got it right here.

You picking on my friends?

Get ready to fell the thunder.

Come on, crazy feet.

What're you going to do about crazy feet?

Come on. I'm a blur. I'm a blur.

You've never seen Bear style.

You've only seen Praying Mantis.

Or Monkey style.

Imagine snake-kiddy Snake.

Would you hit it!

Alright. Alright.

Why don't you try it again?

A little harder.

How's that?

Oohhh...

Oh, that hurts!

This will be easier than I thought.

Feeling a little nausea...

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

Oohh... My tenders.

How did I do?

There is now a level zero.

Don't deny that.

I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking.

Poor guy is going to get himself killed.

He is so fighty.

The Dragon Warrior fell out

of the sky in a ball of fire.

When he walks,

the very ground shakes.

One would think that Master Oogway would

choose someone who actually knew Kung Fu.

Yes. Or could at least touch his toes.

Or even see his toes.

Okay.

Great.

Ooouuch!

Oh hey. Hi.

You're up?

Am now.

I was just..er...someday...eh?

The Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right?

Your biceps sore.

I've had a long day and rather

disappointing day, so...er...

Ya...I should probably get to sleep now.

Ya... Ya...of course.

Okay. Thanks.

It's just, I'm such a big fan...

You guys were so totally amazing

at the battle of the Weeping River.

Outnumbered. A thousand to one.

But, you didn't stop. You just,....

Oh. Sorry about that.

Ahh... Look you don't belong here.

Er...I know, I know.

You're right.

I don't have it.

It's just, my whole life, I dream of...

No, no, no. I meant you don't

belong here, I mean in this room.

But this is my room.

Property of Crane.

Oh, okay right, right.

So...

Ya, you want to get to sleep.

Keeping you up.

We've got big things tomorrow.

Alright. You are awesome. The last thing

I'm going to say. Okay, bye-bye.

What was that?

I didn't say anything.

Okay. Alright. Goodnight.

Sleep well.

Seem a little bit awkward.

Master Tigress, didn't mean

to wake you. Just a...

You don't belong here.

Ah ya...ya, of course...

This is your room...

I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace.

You're a disgrace to Kung Fu and if

you have any respect of who we are,

and what we do,

you will be gone by morning.

Big fan.

I see you've found the Sacred Peach

Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.

Is that what this is?

I'm so sorry.

I thought it was just

a regular peach tree.

I understand, you eat

Rate this script:4.7 / 3 votes