L!fe Happens Page #2
Oh, it's okay. It's okay.
Oh, God, yes!
(DEENA MOANING)
That's okay, baby.
I guess I can
breast-feed in here.
And it's the perfect place to find
something hideous for your boss.
You know, it used to
be that a very select,
few lucky people
got to see my b*obs,
and now I whip them out
everywhere like they're udders.
So wean him.
Breast milk is free
and I'm broke.
Oh, God! This is so hard.
Nobody tells you it's gonna be so hard!
Yes, they do, Kim.
That's pretty much all people say.
Not to mention I haven't had
contact with a man in over a year.
Well, I think
we have a winner.
All right.
Let's just go.
Don't get mad at me
for saying this,
but I think you'd
feel better if you'd
go back into launching
your doggy mall.
How am I supposed
to do that?
What about Francesca?
What's the point of working for the
b*tch if she's not gonna invest?
I just think part of what's getting
you down, Kim, is that, you know,
you're not
really doing anything.
I mean, career-wise,
career-wise.
I have been making inroads with
Francesca, okay? I mean...
Fine, not specifically, but
we're in the same industry.
She might invest.
Okay.
Okay, I have an idea.
Let's get into
some old-school trouble.
Really?
Yeah.
Let's drop Max off
with Laura, get Brazilians,
pick up some
really hot dudes.
Okay.
Good.
Well, Laura can't.
She's got Bible school fellowship.
Oh, that sucks.
I know.
Deena! Deena!
DEENA:
Hey, Jayde!Oh, my God, I haven't
seen you since last year!
I know.
Kings of Leon backstage.
Kaleb still talks about
that night in room 210.
Oh, my God.
We were such groupies, man, it was...
Gross!
Gross! Yeah.
You look amazing,
I mean, obvi, you always do.
So do you, you look great.
Thanks, I really need that.
I just broke with my boyfriend.
He said I was cheating
on with my BlackBerry.
What are you doing? You still managing bands?
What's happening?
I'm doing it all.
I'm repping bands,
and I'm consulting on a clothing
line with a girl from Paris.
Are you doing anything tonight?
No.
One of my bands is opening
up for Bon Iver tonight.
Come, come, come.
It'll be so much fun!
I love Bon Iver, he's so good.
I'm a big fan!
We'll make a night of it!
BOTH:
(SINGING) We canhave vodka soda no ice!
Why did you walk away?
Who was that pop-tard?
I told you about her, dude.
I met her at that Type A seminar
when you were pregnant.
She's funny. You'd like her.
She's nice.
I bet I'd love her.
Thanks for introducing me and Max.
What did you say to her?
I gotta go.
Sweetie, I've been
waiting for you.
Did you get me my slamming little
outfit, size zero for the party?
Yep. I went to the
hippest store at the mall
Uh-huh.
Oh, by the way, Benny, the little
terrier's doggy parents called,
and they said that he
pee-peed in his crate again.
Francesca,
he's just a puppy...
We can't go against what the dog
parents want. You know that.
You know that.
Anyway, we have
a new celeb client.
His name's Spreweli
or something.
He's in some Disney movie and some
Asian cartoons. I never saw them.
I'm ready to dictate.
All right. Darling SJP...
Thank you so much
for your generous donation.
How are you and the twins?
I'm sure that
you'll be with us
for our star-studded
spectacular event...
Okay, what was after the...
Is that a...
Is that a baby on your back?
Is it not bring
your baby to work day?
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
I'm just kidding.
Francesca meet Max,
Max meet Francesca.
I didn't know
you had a baby.
I never would have hired you
if I knew you had a baby.
I'm so sorry, Francesca, but I promise
you won't even know he's here.
He's just the most
mellow little guy,
and I wouldn't
have brought him,
but I had
this situation...
It doesn't matter
how well-behaved it is!
This is a place of business.
You can't bring your baby to a place of business.
I know. I'm really sorry,
Francesca...
Save your song and dance
for someone who cares.
Just get out of my sight
before I fire you.
Francesca...
Just go now.
Okay. I'm sorry.
She better be. Yes, Tinsly
doesn't like the baby either.
Tinsie doesn't like the babies.
No babies for Tinsly.
Gimme a kiss.
Tinsly, I love you.
You're the only one who understands me.
Hey. Hi, you little guy.
How are you?
Hi, Pop POP-
Hi, baby.
Boy, the last time
I saw you this depressed
was when you got
stood up on prom night.
I got it.
You got it?
Yeah. I got him.
I got him.
I don't have my purse.
You got it? Okay.
You hanging in there?
I don't know what
I'm doing, Pop Pop.
(DOOR OPENING)
How do you lose your shoes
caught in a rug?
I'm starving!
DEENA:
Me too!(FAINT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(GROANS)
Yeah, marshmallows!
Whoever invented Rice
Krispy treats is a genius.
Housewives, dude.
The undersung heroes.
But, seriously.
How do you make them?
In a pot?
Nobody uses pots any more.
We'll put them in a bowl, and then
we'll put them in the microwave.
I have a bowl!
(SCREECHING)
(GROANS)
Four minutes
and 20 seconds.
(BOTH WHOOPING)
(MAX CRYING)
God, you've gotta
be kidding me!
(MAX CONTINUES CRYING)
(WHIRRING)
Where the heck
are my keys?
(ANNOUNCER CHATTERING
ON RADIO)
Found them. Bye.
Hey.
Hi.
Are there any
more burritos?
I don't think there are
any more, dude, sorry.
Guess I'll just eat
a hot sauce packet.
So, how are you?
(GRUNTS) I've been better.
How about you? How's naked sushi?
They actually wanted me
to be naked, so I quit,
but I already have another
job, Valet of the Dolls
I think I've seen that on
Hollywood's Sleaziest Jobs.
It's that girl's
valet company, right?
Yeah. $25 an hour just
to park cars, plus tips.
I saw a woman
wearing a full burqa
going into a bikini
waxing place today,
and I thought of you.
Okay, I would love to stay and
hang out with you, sweetheart.
I'm sorry this stupid thing doesn't
work, but I gotta go get dressed.
You know what? Me too.
Me three.
But, guys!
Somebody has to babysit.
Well, dude, I stayed with Max
for the last weird dog event.
No, you didn't! It was that adopt an
incontinent cocker spaniel thing,
and you hit on Simon Rex
in the bathroom.
Sh*t!
KIM:
Guys.I would give anything
not to go tonight,
but, unfortunately,
if I wanna keep my job,
I have to be out
the door in six minutes.
Please, can you just work
it out amongst yourselves?
Play for it?
I never win.
Chicken? (CLUCKS)
Fine.
Here. Deal.
You can be kind
of scary sometimes.
No, you didn't do
a burn card, dude. Redo.
Redo. Redo that.
Okay.
All in.
DEENA:
Cheater.Sorry for not being sorry.
Guess it's just me
and you, kid. Ante up.
HEY-
HEY-
Just checking on you.
You know, it's not fun in there at all.
Really?
Yeah.
Come in when you're done.
Okay.
Hey! You're Deena's friend.
Rocking event! And such a great cause.
It's Stanton.
Jayde Stanton plus three.
Right. Okay.
Yeah. Who let the dogs in?
(IMITATES DOG BARKING)
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"L!fe Happens" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/l!fe_happens_12076>.
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