Lady for a Day Page #6

The judge went to a lot of trouble

to rig up some swell ones

and l don't want ya to blow 'em.

Alright, come on. Let's get going.

No, no. You're too stiff,

you're too stiff.

Relax, can't you? Relax.

Butch, your legs are buckling.

Bend from the waist.

Harry the Horse...

you don't want to

look like you're gonna kick her!

No, and smile.

Go on, keep smiling.

Sure, you're supposed to be

having a good time.

Louie the Lug.

What do you think you're doing?

You're the Ambassador to Turkey,

not a wrestler.

Holy mackerel,

this is awful.

Cheesecake. What's the matter?

Is it too much for you?

- No, l can do it. Only...

- Only what?

I'm as good as

Louie the Lug is any day.

If he's Ambassador,

l oughta be King.

Listen, Secretary of the lnterior

is bigger than Ambassador.

- Yeah?

- Sure.

You can't fool me.

A secretary is a secretary.

Then you're President of the Board.

How do you like that?

President?

Now that's something like it!

Judge, we got a new

President of the Board.

Check!

Come here. You too, Micks.

You two do your stuff.

Quiet! The rest of

you guys, quiet!

Micks here's the Count, see?

Now l want to hear your speech.

- Did l knocked onto this guy?

- Well, you're introduced to him.

I get ya, l get ya.

Count...

l am...

lt's a rare...

its a rare privy...

privy...

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

It's a rare 'privilege', you dope.

I can't make the grade with

words like this. Look...

- if the judge...

- Get away. You're driving me nuts!

Well, what's the matter?

Are you all quitting?

Come on. Let's get going.

Rehearse. Rehearse!

Charmed to meet you Count.

You stink.

Call it,

- Heads.

- Tails!

That makes me the King of Siam.

Couple more wins and you'll be

in charge of the whole world.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Quiet, guest.

Quiet.

Quiet everybody!

Look like we'll have to

take it one thing at a time.

Forget the speeches right now.

Just take up the bowing.

Judge, come and

show 'em how to bow.

Now watch this close.

See, his knees don't buckle.

Look where the hand is.

Isn't that graceful?

Look at that smile.

See, there ain't

anything tough about that.

Come on, everybody do it.

Now, no speeches.

Just bow.

Everybody just bow now.

I don't believe it.

Where do you think you're going?

Come here.

About time you showed up.

I beg your...

You got me doing it now.

Don't worry, you could stand

plenty of practice.

Cut the clowning.

These guys have got me crazy.

You're not doin' them any good.

I'm going through with it, see?

Hey, stop it. Stop it.

Wait a minute everybody now.

Trouble with a lot of you guys

is you don't take this serious.

Well, let me tell you something.

It's serious...

and the guy that don't think it is

can take it on the lam now.

Listen fellas, l don't want to

get tough with ya,

but we gotta go through with it.

It ain't for me.

Nobody's gonna get

anything outta it.

Happy here thinks l'm nuts.

Well, maybe l am,

l don't know.

But l started it and

l gotta go through with it.

It's for Apple Annie, see?

She's in a tough spot and it's

up to us to give her a break.

If anything goes wrong

tomorrow night,

there's no telling what she'll do.

So let's practice

and practice hard.

Now we'll take up

the Apple Annie speech.

All you girls

are Apple Annie, see?

Fellas, pick yourself a dame.

You're being introduced to her.

Alright, let's go.

Alright, everybody.

Let's get organized.

The Apple Annie speech.

Put a little ginger into it.

- Quiet, everybody.

- Quiet, everybody.

- Quiet!

- Quiet!

The lndians are upon us.

- Hello, Dude.

- Hi.

- What's going on around here?

- Nothing you'd be interested in.

Funny your whole mob

up here at one time.

Anything wrong with a guy

having his friends up?

No, nothing wrong in that.

These mugs are classy, ain't they?

Okay, everybody. Go on home.

Rehearsal is over.

Putting on a show, Dude?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, a benefit performance.

Good night, Dude.

So long.

Dude and Fish is what gets me.

The whole mob was up there.

You didn't ask about

the three reporters, did ya?

That's good.

- Yes, sir?

- Send in O'Brien and Gibbons.

Listen, you two fellas

watch the Dude.

Don't let him know he's tailed.

Anything looks phony,

let me know right away.

I want a tail on

every one of the Dude's mob.

There names are on file.

Use every man in

the Department if you have to.

I want those yeggs shadowed

So get going!

- Mommy.

- Sorry, darling.

There, go to sleep. Good night.

Good night, Mommy.

The music must be

soft and mellow.

Nothing harsh, nothing raucous.

Our guests have

very delicate nerves.

Play at intervals of 10 minutes.

Do we understand each other?

Let it happen.

- Are these the two men?

- Yes, sir.

- Do they know their requirements?

- I've explained everything, sir.

Excellent, john.

Then put some on me.

Put some there.

You're quite sure

it looks all right?

- Don't want it to go wrong.

- Yes, madam.

Come in.

Do my eyes deceive me,

or am l in the presence

of an angel?

Stop it, judge.

Never in all my

questionable career

have l gazed upon

such divine loveliness.

Stop it, judge.

Honestly, how do l look?

Exquisite!

- What time are they coming?

- Eight o'clock, my love.

- You think they can do it?

- Do it? They'll do it, or else!

Dude's been rehearsing them

till they're ready to drop.

- I'm so nervous.

- There, there, my little dewdrop.

Don't you worry.

If anything happens,

l'll be there to cover up.

- Leave it to the old judge.

- Oh, you're so good.

Dude and his whole mob

are up in Missouri Martin's

and there's a sign on

the joint:
'CIOSED'.

I didn't find out what it's about

but it sure looks phony.

There's a line of cars outside

a block long.

Don't let 'em get away from you.

What's more, don't let Dude

find out he's being watched.

He's a pretty shrew article.

Okay, keep in touch with me.

- Hello?

- Moore there?

- Yes, sir.

- Put him on.

Moore talking.

Moore, better get

the riot squad ready, 25 men.

Machine guns,

tear bombs, everything.

- We may have a job on our hands.

- Alright, sir.

Sometimes, Count, l'm a little

ashamed of my fellow Americans,

they way they fawn at

and worship celebrities.

- It's rather charming.

- They're like children.

You'll notice it tonight.

In your presence...

they'll probably stammer

and become tongue-tied.

I beg of you

to make allowances for them.

Of course.

Different countries,

different characteristics.

Which reminds me...

there is custom in my country

which obviously is not American.

I was waiting for you to mention it.

- What is that, Count?

- The dowry, my dear judge.

Nothing has been said

about the dowry.

- The dowry?

- The dowry.

The dowry.

I'm aware that in America it is

not considered very important,

but in my country...

An old Spanish custom, huh?

A very old, old custom.

I don't know what to say, Count.

You crept up on me with that one.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes