Lady on a Train

---

I killed him.

I had to kill him.

I thought I'd be safe.

"Over and over the words

droned through her mind.

"And yet, with a cold and

horrible certainty, she knew

that death was outside,

"and moving relentlessly

toward her out of the night.

"Somehow, she forced her eyes

to turn toward the window.

"What horror

she expected to see.

"What horror she expect...

Porter.

Just a moment,

please, sir.

Take your bags, ma'am?

Take your bags, ma'am?

Bags?

We're almost at

Grand Central.

Grand Central?

What's wrong, lady?

I just saw a murder.

Murder!

Murder, ou-out there.

Say, porter,

how about my bags?

[Whispering] Bags?

Yes, we're pulling

into Grand Central!

Grand Central?

What's the matter

with you?

We just saw a murder!

Wha...

In a building we passed.

An old man was killed.

With a razor.

No, with a crowbar.

I've got to find the conductor.

Thank you, sir.

Conductor, if we entered this

tunnel at 9:
13, I mean 12:13...

My watch is still on

San Francisco time...

And the rails go "click-click"

every 21/2 seconds...

See? Click-click.

We're crossing one now.

And each rail is 21 feet long...

anyway, at 9:
11

in San Francisco,

if it's 12:
13 here,

it's, uh, 12:
14 now.

Where were we?

Well, I was on my way

to the baggage car.

Oh, but you don't seem

to understand.

Grand Central.

[P.A. Announcer]

Leaving on track five...

[Continues, Indistinct]

No.

...Lime Falls, Scoville...

No.

Good heavens, no.

Merry Christmas, madame.

She must be on this train.

After all, it is the train

from Chicago.

It ought to be

the easiest thing in the world

to meet a person.

Oh! That'll only

confuse her.

Sorry. I am Haskell

of the New York office.

She's never met me.

I've never met her.

She's coming all the way

from San Francisco...

to spend Christmas

with her Aunt Martha.

This is just a favor

I'm doing for H.G.

A fine chap, H...

Excuse me.

That's quite all right.

He wired me...

Miss Collins!

Miss Collins, I'm Haskell

of the New York office.

See? White carnation.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Your father ordered me

to keep an eye on you.

It'll be a pleasure. Both eyes.

[Chuckling]

Fine person, H.G.

In good health, I trust?

Yes, thanks.

Splendid.

I've arranged

a lovely apartment for you

at the Park Towers Hotel.

I do hope it'll be

satisfactory.

L-I say...

I hope it'll be

satisfactory.

I'm sure it

will be, Mr., uh...

Haskell. Just think

of the New York office.

Yes.

Now, Miss Collins,

you must telephone

your Aunt Martha right away.

We want a taxi

immediately.

[Driver] Right here.

Take me to the nearest...

Park Towers Hotel,

please.

Oh! Um, the radio.

The radio.

What? Oh.

Go ahead, driver.

The radio. Taxi! Taxi!

Young man, what are

you doing with my radio?

What?

Park Towers Hotel?

Yes. Oh, no.

Take me to the nearest

police station, please.

Okay, lady,

but they got better rooms

at the Park Towers.

[Ornament Clinks On Table]

I'd like to report

a murder, please.

Okay.

Look, could you come back

tomorrow, miss?

It's my day off.

You don't seem to understand.

I just saw a man killed.

Tomorrow, please.

Listen, I've just seen a murder

committed, and if you don't

report it, I'll report you.

Just a minute, miss.

Get me Inspector Quillan,

homicide.

If you knew the cranks

we have to put up with...

Hello, Inspector.

This is Brennan.

I got a dame here says

she's just seen a murder.

Oh, I'll ask her.

Who was murdered?

I don't know his name.

She don't know his name.

I'll find out. Where did

the murder take place?

Right outside my window.

Right outside her window.

Oh, well, just...

Hold on, Inspector.

Where do you live?

San Francisco.

San Fra...

Well, never mind, Inspector,

I'll call you back.

Miss... New York

on Saturday night

is full of murders.

Why do you have to bother me

about one that happened

in San Francisco?

This murder happened right here.

I saw it through a train window.

There were two men in the room.

One had a crowbar.

The other was an old man

wearing an overcoat

and bedroom slippers.

The first man held the crowbar

over the old man's head

like this.

I'm sure I can identify

the body...

Just a minute.

The Case of the Headless Bride.

Bet that's exciting, huh?

Full of murders.

Yes, yes.

Ten people.

My, my.

Did anybody in this book

go to jail for malfeasance?

For what?

Malfeasance. That's makin' up

a murder and takin' it to

the police. Now get outta here.

But, Officer...

And the next time you dream up

a mystery, let him solve it.

I'm too busy.

I'll find someone

to listen to me.

And that'll never stay on!

But, H.G., I assure you...

Put those things on that chair.

But, H.G., l...

But, H. G...

Most decidedly, H.G.

Absolutely.

I did meet her at the train.

I did.

I don't know.

I turned my back

and she'd gone.

Disappeared.

Vanished into thin air.

Then...

Here she is now, H.G.

Right here.

It's your father. He's furious.

[Stifles Laugh]

What happened?

Oh-Oh, your radio.

I've had a terrible time.

That isn't my radio.

Where the devil

have you been?

What's happened?

Why, Daddy darling,

I do believe you're angry.

You've been quarrelling

with someone. Did Mr. Haskins

say something to annoy you?

Haskell.

Oh, but he didn't lose me.

I ran away from him.

But, Daddy, I had to.

He was stealing a radio.

Now, Daddy darling,

don't you worry about me.

I promise I'll go to

bed early, I won't talk

to any strange men...

and I'll call Aunt Martha

the first thing

in the morning, yes.

[Smacks Kiss]

I love you, Daddy. Bye.

Do you have the audacity to say

that I, Haskell of the New York

office, stole a radio?

Well, didn't you?

Really! When you said,

"Oh, the radio," and I turned,

you knew

perfectly well...

Oh, you poor man.

That eye. Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Oh, it must hurt terribly.

Oh!

It is sheer agony.

We must do something to get

that swelling down.

I know!

Something cold.

Ah! Hold this against

your eye for a few minutes

and it'll feel much better.

Against it?

Oh, it is cold!

That's right.

Yes, it is.

Very comfortable.

That's fine.

Operator, I'd like to get

the telephone number

of a Mr. Morgan.

A Mr. Wayne Morgan.

That mystery-writing person?

Is he a friend of yours?

Huh-uh. I need his help.

It's about a murderer.

I have to get in touch

with him.

Huh-huh!

Murderer, indeed.

Pardon me.

Your father told the

whole office how you uncovered

a spy in San Francisco.

He had no right hanging around

the Golden Gate Bridge!

So you had him arrested.

Certainly! He had

buck teeth just like a Jap.

That man was

a member of the FBI.

Operator,

cancel that call.

Now, you are not

going to telephone

the mystery writer.

Once again,

Roger's nimble brain

had come to the rescue.

Little did

Count Cuchini realize

that the deadly weapon...

Roger pressed into

his back... was only...

A pipe.

A pipe.

How did you know?

Mr. Morgan,

in all your books you...

Never mind!

Roger smiled.

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