Lage Raho Munna Bhai Page #2

Thank you... thank you...

- "Now the third question. "

"What weapons did Gandhi have,

that Hitler didn't?"

The ironing press!

Are you sure?

He had truth and non-violence.

I'll have the iron!

Truth and non-violence.

"Well done!"

"At what age did Gandhi marry?"

- 13.

Thirteen years. Watch these...

And... Kasturba was 13 as well.

Bro and his wife were both 13

when they married.

What a tragedy.

Our bro is still single.

"What's all that noise?"

My family. They're upset.

They feel Bapu married at 13...

high time I married too.

- This is all very wrong...

Shut up! Circuit!

- I'm going to call the cops!

Hey Notebook! What's your name?

Professor Venkatesh Vattikutti.

"Look here, Vattikutti,

we should help each other. "

You know about Gandhi. We don't.

"Now, if you wanna know about... "

Franky four-fingers, Bullet-tooth Tony,

Boris 'the blade'...

come to me. I'd never say no.

Knowledge must be shared.

This is wrong. Very wrong.

I'll call the police.

Aw! You got your clothes all wet...

- This is unpardonable.

Hey, dry clean this dude!

"And this year, our first caller... "

"... Mr Murli Prasad Sharma, wins. "

You see, Ms. Jhanvi...

I'm a big Bapu fan.

"Well Murli, tomorrow you will visit

our Studio. "

"I so look forward to meeting you. "

Me too.

Good bye, Mr. Sharma

- Good Bye, Ms. Jhanvi.

What does she look like, Brother?

- He's never seen her.

What if she's short?

- What if she's fat?

Brother, what if your nightingale

looks like a crow?

"O' what a delicious plight,... "

"I wonder what my lady's like?"

"O' what a delicious plight,... "

"I wonder what my lady's like?"

"Is she pretty? Does she glow?"

"There's only one way to know... "

"Get in the fight, Bro!"

"Even in my sleep she gleams,... "

"She gives me 'to be continued' dreams,... "

"Even in my sleep she gleams,... "

"She gives me 'to be continued' dreams,... "

"My brain's turned to jelly, or so it seems!"

"There's only one way to know, bro!"

"O' what a delicious plight,... "

"I wonder what my lady's like?"

"Is she pretty? Does she glow?"

"There's only one way to know... "

"Get in the fight, Bro!"

"Will someone put me out of my misery,... "

"Tell me is she simple, or a bag of trickery?"

"Will someone put me out of my misery,... "

"Tell me is she simple, or a bag of trickery?"

"Will my mom get a hug,... "

"... or a cold "wassup"?"

"There's only one way to know, bro!"

"O' what a delicious plight,... "

"I wonder... "

"... what my lady's like?"

"Is she pretty? Does she glow?"

"There's only one way to know... "

"Get in the fight, Bro!"

Hey Miss Inquiry.

Where's Sister-in-Law?

Sister-in-Law?

- Ms. Jhanvi. Myself Murli Prasad Sharma.

Contest winner.

- He won. Gold medallist!

Oh.

She's waiting for you. Over there.

Hello!

Can't hear you!

Who's this?

- I'm Murli Prasad Sharma.

Where are you speaking from?

From right here.

"Ma'am, I'm calling from Chembur. "

So what song would you like?

"Ek Ladki ko dekha toh... "

- Alright my friend from Chembur...

...your song's up

right after this commercial break.

Hey, Circuit! Let's scoot!

"What happened, Bro?"

- Can't meet her.

"Why, Bro?"

I shat all over my first impression!

I yelled through the sound-proof glass.

She must think I'm such an "Uncle. "

Don't say "Uncle", bro. Say Bapu.

Father. Father of the nation.

Hey Leakage! Piss off!

Emergency meeting on. Get out!

We're doomed, pal.

- What happened, Bro?

Wasn't she pretty?

- She's gorgeous.

Sparkling eyes.

And what do you call that hair

that hangs down on the face?

Pigtail?

- No, man!

Lock. Lock. A lock of hair.

That's it man.

A lock of hair caressed her cheek.

Then? Then?

- She lifted it and...

tucked it behind her left ear

That just floored me.

You're as good, Bro!

You've floored many

with your left hook.

Now... meet her with full confidence...

and talk to her graciously.

- Who's Gracious Lee?

Graciously means... in Hindi...

Polite.

Got it from that Professor guy.

"Said, Gandhi achieved great things

just by being gracious"

Ass. Can't you wait?

Now I ask graciously.

Hold it a while.

Don't mess up our meeting!

I request you... whats that?

- Graciously...

Request you graciously.

Be gracious... success is yours.

Yeah. Go on.

- Bro, watch your language.

For instance, don't say,

'doomed the nation '.

"Say, 'the nation is woebegone'."

Throw some big words around.

"Like metaphysical, soul levitation,

change of heart. "

Tell me more...

- Don't say much about Bapu.

We'll be doomed.

"That is, we'll be woebegone. "

Are you Murli Prasad Sharma?

I'm gracious.

So who's Murli Prasad Sharma?

- I am.

So who's Gracious?

- Who the hell do you want, man?

Murli Prasad Sharma.

Ms Jhanvi's looking for him.

Step aside, you stupid "Uncle".

Turn up the radio.

Brother's on - LIVE!

Good morning Mumbai!

Welcome back to your favourite show.

Today we have Mr. Murli Prasad Sharma

in the studio.

How are you so knowledgeable

about Gandhi?

I'm a huge Bapu fan.

What a dude!

Single handedly threw the Brits out!

Doomed them!

No, no... not doomed. 'Woebegone'

What a man... class.

Is that our Munna I hear?

- Yes, sir.

Turn it up.

Do you think Mahatma Gandhi

has been forgotten today?

Not at all. Oct 2nd is still

a Dry Day in his honour.

Makes no difference,

I never touch liquor.

No. Jokes apart,

do you still walk his path?

Oh I do a daily 3 mile walk...

...on Mahatma Gandhi Road.

- I mean, do you follow his principles?

Totally! I'm a Number One Gandhi-ist!

You mean, you're a 'Gandhian', right?"

- You bet! And you?

Not really.

But I admire some of his values.

Like?

- Like, I never lie.

We have a lot in common...

...we must meet more often.

- You mean, you never lie?

Well, I did once. In 1992.

A kid lost 50p and was howling!

I gave him my own coin,

and told him it was his.

Mark my words. He will be a politician.

So tell me, what do you do?

I'm a... Professor!

Professor?

- Yup. I teach kids History.

But your... language?

What to do?

Our language is doomed.

I mean, our language is 'woebegone'.

Nobody speaks pure Hindi anymore.

Having a 'change of heart' means...

...'heart transplant' to them!

So you deliberately speak a lingo

your students understand?

Correct! That's why my students

always come first.

No one comes in second.

- Well, then I'll speak like you too.

Which song can I play

for your students, 'Uncle'?

Any hit cabaret song!

Fantastic show! Really, Professor!

I hope my children heard it.

You have children?

- Yes. six of them!

We gotta go, Bro.

I'm Sir Kit!

The Professor's student!

Oh right. Pull up a chair. Please sit.

But Bro, kids...

- Sit. Sit.

Meet my children. Cute, aren't they?

Yes, yes.

- Oh, yeah. Very nice.

Like you, they are 'Gandhi-ists'.

Who are these guys?

- My grandfather's college friends.

When their kids disown them,

Grandpa adopts them!

They all live in your house?

Grandpa calls it

the '2nd Innings Home'!

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