Lake Placid Page #16

HECTOR:

I know under the circumstances,

biting off my head might seem

viable. It would cheapen you.

But nothing's funny about this to Hector now. What he's staring

into is death. His own. Gare raises her rifle.

GARE:

I might get a shot.

HECTOR:

(fear in his voice)

No. If you don't kill him

instantly, I'm dead and you'll only

kill him instantly if you get his

brain, which is about the size of

a cherry. And even if you were on

target, a bullet might not

penetrate his hide.

ANGLE GARE:

GARE:

(re the croc)

Jesus.

(to Hector)

About twelve more yards. Keep

coming just like that.

ANGLE HECTOR:

craning to see how far away he is and as soon as he breaks eye

contact with the CROCODILE, it GROWLS. Hector quickly locks

eyes with him again.

ANGLE GARE:

GARE:

(weakly)

Oh my God.

RESUME:

By now Hector is almost to the chopper, the croc is right there

too. Hector's right hand then goes slowly for his belt though

it's impossible to discern why. The crocodile seems poised to

finish him. There's a slight GROWL.

And then suddenly, a small underwater POP, followed by an

EXPLOSION out of the water. it's an inflatable life vest and as

it pop tarts out of the water, the croc lunges for it.

As the croc goes for the vest, Hector makes his dash for the

chopper. In almost an instant, he's climbing on board as the

croc pulls the vest into darkness underwater.

Hector's up on the chopper's ski.

HECTOR:

Move over!!

The crocodile's head comes thrusting up, its massive jaws

snapping shut, missing Hector by an inch, maybe two. Hector

dives into the chopper, screaming.

GARE:

Go!!

She REVS the CHOPPER. The croc comes up again, chomping down on

one of the landing skis. Both Gare and Hector scream as the

whole helicopter is jerked mightily.

GARE (CONT'D)

(screaming)

Go!!!

HECTOR:

I'm trying!!!

The croc releases and the chopper rights itself and begins to

thrust off, when the croc surfaces again, mouth open. Gare

FIRES her REVOLVER. It might as well shoot BB's. The croc is

undaunted but he does miss the ski and by now the chopper is up

and running, finally safely out of the reptile's reach.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPSITE - TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Jack is nearly manhandling Hector, pulling him by the elbow

towards his tent. Kelly and Keough are there too.

JACK:

(livid)

This time, I'm gonna kick your

ass.

HECTOR:

Bastard bit my chopper.

JACK:

Hey!!

Jack simply grabs his arm and squeezes a pressure point. Hector

yelps in pain.

JACK (CONT'D)

You wanna kill yourself, that it,

you looking to commit some kind of

divine suicide?

KELLY:

Alright, Jack!

JACK:

No!

(back to Hector)

You might think they're Godly, you

might get some spiritual lift

backstrokin' with dragons but you

just put a deputy at risk and--

HECTOR:

(flaring)

Let's not overlook he didn't eat

me, maybe--

JACK:

'Cause he just ate a cow, you

stupid--

KELLY:

Jack!

HECTOR:

I'm a civilian! You don't have any

authority--

KEOUGH:

I can arrest you!!

HECTOR:

Then do it!!

KEOUGH:

You probably do want to be killed

by it, that was you trying to meet

your maker.

HECTOR:

So profound and fat.

Hector, feelings hurt, stomps off again. Kelly looks at Jack.

Then Kelly follows Hector.

INT. HECTOR'S TENT - A MINUTE LATER

Hector enters, sits. A beat. Kelly enters, goes to sit next to

him.

KELLY:

(softly)

Did you want to be killed by it?

HECTOR:

You think I'm that nuts?

KELLY:

(softly)

Hector.

(then)

What you just did... there was at

least some sort of a death wish

going on.

HECTOR:

Nothing's real.

KELLY:

Excuse me?

HECTOR:

Nothing's real.

(escalating)

I'm rich, people are automatically

my friends, sycophants ooze out

like oil slicks and and and--

He's sounding erratic.

HECTOR (CONT'D)

With crocodiles... everything's

even.

KELLY:

I'm no psychiatrist. But I would

think there have to be better

places to look for autonomy, than--

HECTOR:

(pained)

I'm an empty man, Kelly, wealth has

robbed me of the dream in life, I

sit here broken, a hollow sack--

KELLY:

Oh, bullshit.

And Hector drops the act.

HECTOR:

Didn't even sound good?

KELLY:

No.

HECTOR:

(worth a try)

Eh. F*** it.

KELLY:

Can I tell them you won't go back

in the water?

HECTOR:

Yes. You may. But maybe... I

don't know...

He has trouble saying it.

KELLY:

What?

HECTOR:

Could we have intercourse?

She just whacks him. Then exits. OFF Hector, "worth a shot",

we:

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