Lake Placid Page #8

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAKE - MUCH LATER

The lake is still, the campfire is out, the tents are quiet.

The quiet SOUNDS of NIGHT. CRICKETS. A LOON. An OWL. A

courageous raccoon looks about, seeing what he can rummage. By

the water... a black bear takes a drink.

ANGLE KEOUGH'S TENT

He emerges, compelled by a full bladder, wearing only his

trousers, carrying a revolver. He walks into the nearby woods.

He removes from his shorts his bladder's connection to the

outside world. Proceeds to URINATE. Then... he hears

something. The SOUND of RUSTLING LEAVES. He STOPS URINATING,

we HEAR a HALF SECOND of MOVEMENT. Then quiet. Must be his

imagination. He RESUMES his business.

More RUSTLING, it's not just the sound of dense urine against

leaves, he stops... something's out there in the darkness.

Quiet. He starts up for a second, STOPS QUICKLY, and we HEAR it

for sure. Something's RUSTLING TOWARDS him. With his free

hand, Keough pulls out his revolver. More RUSTLING... Keough

points the gun. Something on the ground is coming toward him.

He moves slowly, gun drawn, into the darkness. The RUSTLING is

getting LOUDER. It's almost upon him. A beat. CLOSER.

CLOSER. Then Keough peels away a bush revealing:

HECTOR:

Looking into a gun barrel. He screams. Keough screams. Then--

HECTOR:

Jesus Christ!!

KEOUGH:

What the hell are you doing?!!

HECTOR:

What are you doing?!

KEOUGH:

You're crawling around like a--

HECTOR:

I'm laying a spring trap!

KEOUGH:

A spring trap!

HECTOR:

I keep telling you, they can come

on land, I don't wanna wake up in

the middle of the night--

KEOUGH:

I coulda shot you, you--

HECTOR:

This could end up saving your life,--

HECTOR (CONT'D) KEOUGH

You'll be glad you didn't Hey look, I'm sure you

shoot me then, you'll be finished first in your

tongue massaging my class but I think you need

hemorrhoids, just before to be retired to the big rubber

running off to get your room, where you can play with

sister pregnant, who you soft stuffed reptiles.

probably already call mom.

And now all the others, awakened, are charging.

KELLY:

(arriving)

Hey! What is going on?

HECTOR KEOUGH

This man takes a pistol He's crawling around--

to pee!

KEOUGH (CONT'D)

(escalating)

This is an official investigation,

and this cuckoo bird is a civilian.

I don't care how much money he's

got, he's a total mental.

And Hector storms off. A beat.

KELLY:

You hurt his feelings. I think you

should go apologize.

KEOUGH:

Apologize?

KELLY KEOUGH (CONT'D)

We're a team here. It He's a fruitcake!

won't kill you to get

along.

KELLY (CONT'D)

Look. The thing about Hector... he

takes this crocodile business

very...

(how to say it)

he thinks they're Godly.

A beat.

JACK:

He thinks they're what?

KELLY:

In his defense, every primitive

culture known to man deified them.

He's a mythology professor, he

thinks crocs are divine conduits.

KEOUGH:

Is this 'spose to make me take him

more serious?

KELLY:

It's to make you understand him,

with understanding comes tolerance.

Too bad they don't put proverbs in

Twinkies, my load would be lighter.

KEOUGH:

(befuddled)

Why does everybody insult my

intelligence, I have intelligence,

intelligent people eat Twinkies.

KELLY:

I'm sorry.

Keough shoots a look to Jack.

JACK:

Let's just all get some sleep.

And Keough heads off, under--

KEOUGH:

I'm an intelligent person.

Upon which, he disappears from Earth. He's stepped into one of

Hector's pit traps. A beat.

KEOUGH (O.S.)

(calmly)

I shall kill him.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LAKE - SUNRISE

The steam is lifting off the lake.

EXT. LAKE - MORNING

Keough, Kelly, Hector, and Deputy Burke are cruising in the

whaler. Hector and Jack are both in full diving gear. Jack

also has a stick gun for protection. Hector does not.

KEOUGH:

Again, I don't mean to be annoying

with my questions. But if it is a

crocodile which I don't think it

is. And if they do charge these

baby hatchling sounds...

(to Jack)

why exactly would you want to be

underwater at the time?

(to Hector)

With you it makes sense.

HECTOR:

They don't really attack underwater

and--

KEOUGH:

That "Walt" guy got hit underwater--

HECTOR:

No crocodile has ever--

KELLY:

(to Hector)

You should take a flax pole.

HECTOR:

And what if I tranq him Kelly? He

drowns. You think about that?

KELLY:

I'm just saying last resort.

KEOUGH:

Again. Not to be disruptive. Do

we have a problem with it dying?

HECTOR:

Crocodiles don't sever with their

teeth, their molars are blunt.

As if that's suppose to clear it up. Keough stares back

blankly. Then:

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