Lake Placid 2

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Man, this lake is really starting

to freak me out.

You know how many people

have disappeared from here

in the last couple of years?

Maybe two.

But do you know how many people have

disappeared just in the last six months?

Five.

Man, you are paranoid.

You should really lay off the green.

At least share some with me.

All right, I'm done.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Slow down.

Let me finish getting my samples.

You gotta relax. You need a hobby.

You should try golf.

Tillman, why are you even here?

You're more concerned

with baseball and mullets

than you are with the ecosystem.

For your information,

I got into this line of work

so I could meet sexy eco-warrior chicks

who don't shave their legs.

Oh, God, help me!

Help me! Help me! No!

Tillman! Tillman! Tillman!

Tillman! Tillman!

Good morning, sunshine.

- So, are we having fun yet?

- Yeah, tons.

Are you kidding me?

This is the boredom capital of the universe.

Look, Scott, you're stuck with me

for a month,

so why don't you at least try

and have a good time, huh?

You don't even have cable

or high speed Internet.

My cell phone doesn't even work out here.

Well, a lot of people would think

that was a good thing, Scott.

Yeah, unlike your nasty meatloaf pie.

Since you're so determined

to be miserable out here,

why did you decide to come along

in the first place?

It's called a custody agreement, Sheriff.

Listen, I want to get something straight

with you right off the bat, son.

You might be able to talk

to your little friends that way,

but I'm not one of your little friends

and I'm not your peer.

I'm your father, so I demand respect.

Whatever.

Sheriff Riley, come in.

Go for Riley.

Sheriff, that EPA guy is here again.

Says his partner's gone missing on the lake.

Over.

Mills? He probably smoked a bad bowl

and forgot he was all by himself.

I'll be there in a few minutes.

Look, I gotta go in to work.

But afterwards I'll stop by, grab you,

we'll go in to town and catch a movie, huh?

Yeah, maybe.

So, why don't you talk to her already?

Jesus, Dad.

Don't you gotta go to work or something?

Yes.

So, why don't you talk to her already?

I'll talk to her when I want to talk to her.

If you're so excited about it,

why don't you go talk to her?

Be careful what you wish for.

Hey! Can I speak to you for a minute?

Hi, how are you?

Oh, this is not happening.

- Good morning.

- Good morning, Sheriff.

Miner, are you crazy,

sneaking up on somebody like that?

Hey, that's my job.

Yeah, well, excuse me

while I go do my mine.

You know, I heard someone else

has gone missing on the lake.

How many does that make now, Sheriff?

Is there a possible serial killer

on the loose, wild animal?

Maybe an Al-Qaeda jihad?

Care to comment?

Yeah, I care to comment.

You write anything in that newspaper

of yours that sends my town into a panic,

I'll be looking for you

at the bottom of that lake.

You can quote me on that.

You're a guard dog. Guard!

Who buys your bones?

Can somebody please explain to me

why the local gossip

has to be breathing down my neck?

Hello, Frank.

There's enough going on around here

without having to deal with that moron.

I told that dirty, rotten snoop, Cal Miner,

to get the heck out of here.

He just started yammering on about

freedom of the press, or some such.

Why don't you just shoot him, Sheriff?

If it were only that easy.

There you go,

making things too complicated again.

Can we make an exception in Cal's case?

Dale, do not tempt me.

Sheriff, listen...

- Hey, Frank, how's it going?

- Good.

No, no, not that great, you know.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Why don't you fill us all in?

Okay, well, my partner and I

are working on the lake and,

well, the next thing I know he's in the water.

- Just like that?

- Yeah.

Well, I'm trying to get him back in the boat

and he's screaming and yelling,

and something pulls him under.

He's gone, Sheriff.

I'm a little unclear on something here.

How exactly did he wind up

in the water in the first place?

Pretty sure he fell off leaning over the side.

Frank, I've got a question for you.

Did you, by any chance,

eat any organic brownies this morning?

You think this is just a joke, Sheriff?

Come with me

and I'll show you the punch line.

Okay, Frank.

I've got a feeling I'm not gonna like

what's under that sheet.

Wow.

So these are your friend, huh?

Used to be.

Whatever's in your lake took the rest of him.

I've got to call Fish and Wildlife right away.

Cover that up, Charlie.

We've already been called.

Well, gentlemen, isn't this just ducky?

Look, James, if it's any consolation,

I asked them to send someone else.

Oh, I appreciate your concern, Emma,

but I'm a professional.

I can handle it. It's just that I hadn't

heard from you in so damn long.

I sent you an e-mail.

You sent me a group e-mail about

some PETA rally. How personal was that?

Honestly, I didn't think you were

quite over your ex-wife.

Well, now, just what the hell

is that supposed to mean?

I hate to break up couples' therapy,

but I'm not Dr Phil

and this sure as hell ain't Oprah.

That's not a toy, Frank!

Emma? Look what you did.

Are you happy?

I'm so embarrassed.

I always had a weak stomach for blood.

It's a good thing you weren't

out on the lake. Boy, it was awful.

- Pulled him under so quickly, so strong.

- Here.

Something that vicious, Frank,

it had to be a mountain lion,

a sick bear, something like that.

The chances of a mammal

killing someone on a lake that deep

are about a billion to one.

About as good as our chances

of finding out on this porch.

Think you can handle

going back to the lake, Frank?

Yeah, sure. Let's do it.

Okay.

I have a boat. Let's go.

Frank, we've been over

the same area four times.

You sure this is where Tillman went under?

I think so.

Think so?

I didn't know anyone lived

on this side of the lake.

It's crazy Sadie Bickerman.

She moved into that place

a couple years after her sister went missing.

The way I hear it, she used to feed live cattle

to a couple of 40-foot prehistoric crocs

she kept in her backyard.

What? That's ridiculous.

That's the kind of detail you could have

shared with us back at the morgue.

Mills, come on.

You know everybody around here

is prone to exaggeration, if you get my drift.

And crocodiles don't live

as far north as Maine, Frank.

If there really was one up here, I'm sure

it would've been a newsworthy occurrence.

Maybe, but that's not the kind of thing

a lake town would want

featured on its tourism brochure.

Hey, slow down.

Over there, what is that?

I don't know.

I'm pulling in, see if I can't fish it out.

Yeah, let's see here. Come here.

Just a second, we'll get there.

Whoa, what are you doing?

It's not like you haven't seen all this before.

Well, we can wait around here all day

or I can jump in and see what it is.

Turn around. Turn around!

So, you're just gonna jump in?

You're not even gonna let...

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