Landing Up

1

(gentle music)

Today

Just like any

other day

We wake up

to new beginnings

Today

Just like any

other day

I look at you

and suddenly

nothing's new

(Jenny) No, you did not give my room

to some bum while I was at school.

No, it's just unbelievable.

Is your nest that empty?

Are you just that pathetic?

Jenny, darling, I've asked you

not to speak to me that way!

Oh.

There's people in this world

that need our help...

What is that?

(mom) We should try to help

them as much as we can.

You've got to be

f***ing kidding me?!

Mom!

I'm really sorry,

you can have your room back.

Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no!

Mom, she's using my hairbrush!

Oh my God and now

you're naked.

You're naked. Okay.

Mom, she's using

my hairbrush.

(rebellious music)

Vultures cry that

warning song

That weary song

The moon is high

The road is long

You know we're going to have to burn

everything in that room now, right?

She's probably got lice and herpes

and God only knows what else.

Never give up

Never back down

Cause high above,

there ain't no sound

Never give up

Never back down

It's more than

surviving now

(man) God did not put us on

this earth to endure suffering.

He put us on this earth,

he put us here

to receive salvation

from our Lord Jesus Christ!

Because a great

distress is coming...

Never give up

Never back down

There's fire but

there ain't no sound

Never give up

Never back down

It's more than

surviving now

What you doing here, girl

Don't tell me, that spacey rich

b*tch finally got tired of you?

Claire was sweet.

Her prodigal daughter

returned. Jenny.

What did I tell you about

using words like prodigal?

Keep talkin' like that

and you can take a one way bus

right back to that small town

you ran away from.

Shut up.

Damn.

How is it you manage to find

all the wealthy do-gooders

this city has to offer

and I meet all the

freaks and a**holes?

I told you to stop seeing that mother

f***er you're always crashing with.

Watch your mouth, girl.

Or you're gonna start

scaring society ladies away.

Oh whatever 'cause

when we're famous,

we're going to be like them.

Oh that's right, when we have our

apartment on the Upper West Side.

Oh and we paint

the walls yellow.

And always have purple flowers

in the kitchen.

Oh and a welcome mat so our guests

know they got a place to be.

But they got to take

their shoes off

'cause you know we don't want

no dirt in our place.

Amen.

(giggles)

Here.

Just tell me when we have

enough for a place.

That's it?

You gotta at least leave me

enough to get a loosey.

I thought you were quitting.

I'll quit when we have a place.

Deal.

Yo I'm goin' fishing

tonight. You in?

Yeah.

Maybe I'll meet the prince who will

sweep me off my feet for once.

Oh girl, you let me know, I'm

gonna be your chambermaid.

Oh whatever.

F***, Frank's here.

(upbeat music)

(snorts)

(toilet flushes)

All right, who's your target?

What about him?

Do you see that

dude's fingernails?

He is a closet psycho.

What about him?

Are you kidding me? No.

Too old.

Too Mafia.

Too ghetto.

Wait, wait, wait him.

He's perfect.

- Good luck.

- Don't need it.

Oh.

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Can I just like... oh you're wet.

Just a little, yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz.

It's okay. It's okay.

Do you need a drink?

Yes.

Yes, I need a drink.

(chuckles)

What are you having?

Um, vodka soda?

Excuse me. Vodka soda please.

And two shots.

So, what's your name, now that

I've put your hands all over you?

Tom.

Tom?

Hailey.

Hi, Hailey. It's

nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Ah.

Cheers.

Cheers.

(glasses clink)

So what do you do, Tom?

I am...

funeral director.

You're a funeral director?

That's amazing.

And depressing.

Well, that is why I need

a beautiful girl like you to...

help me feel better.

I'm sorry.

Check, please?

Who's a bad girl now

(snoring)

(gentle music)

Alright, I got it, I got it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- Nice catch.

- Are you okay?

I'm really sorry. I absolutely was not

looking to see if I was going to...

crush a human being

in my quest to make

a perfect catch.

Luckily, I'm gonna live.

Um...

Are you gonna be around here

for awhile?

I've got my book, a sandwich,

and now I have a bruise,

so where am I going to go?

(Avi) Dude, let's go!

I'm Callie.

David.

(Avi) Come on.

Go.

(Avi) Yo, the Frisbee.

(gentle music)

Oh, whoa, sorry.

I didn't mean to startle you.

(sighs)

You look big from down here.

Better?

Yeah.

The book is so good,

it put you to sleep?

Yes, actually.

Well, we're going to go to

Randolph's to get a drink,

you should come with.

No, really, put the guy out of

his misery, come on, let's go.

Dude.

Now you owe me a drink, too.

Come on.

All right.

Here.

- Thanks.

- Sure.

- Avi, this is Callie.

- Nice to meet you, Callie.

(David) That's right.

(David) I remember

your name.

Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

(David) Okay, I would like

to toast our new friend...

No, let's... to you, David. To not

tackling women to pick them up.

Uh, to Avi, for maybe someday

meeting a real girl

so he doesn't break his hand

jerking off all the time.

Ah.

I will say that crashing into me

was kind of a good move.

Oh, suck it Avi.

No listen, David's ex

was a fake plastic b*tch.

Frankly, I'm surprised the man's

got any game left at all.

Dude why are you bringing up

the ex laundry,

we just met this girl.

It's got to come out sometime.

It's alright, I've had my

fair share of shitty exes.

There was this one guy

who had an unfortunate fetish

for teal wigs.

So he wanted you to wear a wig?

Yeah, yeah it was weird.

Avi, you're up.

I think we should move on.

Because he doesn't have

any stories about women

because he hasn't had one yet.

(laughs)

Oh!

He's no better with shuffle

board than he is with a Frisbee.

Hey, no I believe Avi

threw that Frisbee,

and I'm the one who made

the magnificent catch.

How'd you get so good at this?

I grew up in a tiny town,

you get good at weird things.

Well, sh*t. Your game.

What's my prize?

Hmm...

I play for tacos.

Oh, I know exactly

where we're going to go.

Yeah?

Yep, follow me, come on.

Okay.

This is literally the best taco

I've ever eaten.

- Yeah?

- Mhm.

Taco truck tacos?

Delicious.

Whoa. You don't f***

around, do you?

(groans)

So where do you live?

Oh...

Um, uh...

Bumblefuck Brooklyn.

It takes me like an

hour to get anywhere.

Ugh, I would hate that.

- Yeah?

- Mhm.

What are you, one of those

Financial District guys

making east of the

river less cool?

Is that what you think of me?

Finance? Really?

Alright, alright, I'm sorry.

So not finance but maybe

something in commercial?

Graphic design?

Advertising?

F***!

Oh sh*t, I'm right?

You work in advertising?

Well close, it's

branding actually.

Branding?

Oh well, when the masses aren't

buying into a product anymore

they call in the master

to make it cool again.

Oh, so you're the reason

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