Last Cab to Darwin Page #3

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You want to keep cool, bro,

you should've just...

turned that air conditioner on.

You work here?

I'll fix your windscreen, no worries.

Leave your keys in there

and go inside, old man.

Have a cold beer. She'll be good

as new when you come back out.

My name's Tilly. What's yours?

- Rex.

- Don't worry, Rex.

I'll look after ya.

Gday.

- Give us a Coopers, love.

- Okay. How's the track today?

Oh, lost my windscreen just out of Maree.

Young fella who works next door... Tilly?

- He's fitting me another one.

- He doesn't work here.

He came up from Oodnadatta last night

to get on the turps with his cousin.

Oh, don't worry. Might be a pisshead,

but he can fix just about anything.

- How much will it cost?

- Dunno. A couple of hundred.

You'd better give it to me, though.

Well, he'll charge you four

and he owes me twice that.

Good on ya.

Feral cats.

- Why do they string 'em up?

- 'Cause they don't belong here.

We'd be f***ed without that tree.

- It's the only reason people come here.

- Well, they haven't got a lot of choice.

They've got to refuel.

It's the only thing worth

putting on a postcard, though.

Well, they could put you on a postcard.

Would you buy a postcard with me on it?

We'd be f***ed without that tree.

Looks good.

Yeah. That's him.

I...

I paid the barmaid.

- Faith?

- Yeah.

- How much?

- $200. She said you owed her.

Oh, f*** it!

Mother, father, dog!

I'll tell you what, Rex.

I'll do you a deal.

You drop me off up the road in Oodnadatta,

we square. Okay?

Good job, that.

Fitted solid, unna?

Let's hope so.

You know I was gonna play

for Essendon, Rex?

- Oh, yeah?

- No bullshit. I was drafted.

Best full-forward

in the history of Oodnadatta.

- I met Michael Long.

- Yep?

What happened?

Well, they had my ticket booked

and everything.

But Sally... that's my wife...

she had Lionel... that's my boy...

the night before I'm supposed to go!

So I got to stay and look after

family, you know?

Think you might try it again sometime?

Lionel nearly three now.

Plus, we got little Jimmy.

There's this mob up in Darwin.

They reckon they still interested.

It's not the big time,

but you can get there from Darwin.

I'm on my way to Darwin.

Yeah?

You going all the way?

Alright, brother boy. That's a fair drive.

All the way to Darwin.

Oh, but, Rex,

you're gonna love Oodnadatta!

Hey, you mob, look at this!

Tilly caught a taxicab

all the way from Broken Hill!

- Hey, Tilly! Hey, Tilly!

- Hey, get your own taxi!

Tilly, where have you been?

- Hey, Tilly.

- My man.

Hey.

- Hey, Brad.

- Hey, mate. How are you going?

Come on, Rex.

Peter. Move over before you fall over.

- Beer?

- Yes, thanks, mate.

- You got a room?

- It's not flash.

Do I look flash?

- 100 bucks.

- Says 50 on the sign outside.

You get your $50 back

when I get my keys back.

You don't give the keys back,

I get a new pair of shorts.

No-Balls! F*** off!

Go on, get!

- Why do you call him No-Balls?

- It's not a him.

This is my boy Lionel.

Gday, Lionel. How are you, mate? Hey?

Hey, Tilly?

- Tilly, you got a cigarette?

- Don't you want to know where I've been?

No, I know where you've been.

On the grog with your useless cousin.

Hey. I've been looking for work.

Have you got a cigarette?

Useless prick.

Hey, mate. Give us a pack of smokes.

- You bought them for me?

- No. I bought 'em for your woman.

She not my woman. She my wife.

She look like my woman?

You've got a cigarette.

Well, I want a f***in' cigarette, Tilly.

I don't want a fur coat. Did I ask

for a fur coat? No. Or a holiday?

No. I just want a cigarette.

Well, you got one for yourself,

but did you get one for me? No!

I mean, what is wrong with you, Tilly?

What is wrong with you, fella?

Nup.

Thank you, my darling.

You've got one hour.

Then you're putting the kids

to bed, fat cat.

Come on, Rex. I'll take you to your donga.

Thanks, Tilly.

No worries, baya.

I'll see you in the morning?

Yeah, I thought there was.

You said there was more!

Where the f*** is it? You little weasel!

Where the f*** is it?

- I gave it to you!

- Where's the f***in' money?

Where's our f***in' money?

- You f***in' hid it!

- Wait!

- Give it here!

- I'm telling you!

- Don't f*** with me, boy.

- Please!

- We know you've got it.

- Sh*t.

Listen! That's it! There's nothing else!

Please, please, please!

Tilly, get in!

What the f*** are you doing,

Mr Cab Driver? He ain't got no money!

For Chrissake, Tilly,

get in the f***ing cab!

How am I looking, Rex?

Don't you f***in' talk to me,

you nasty little prick.

- You stole my wallet.

- I fixed your windscreen.

I paid for it!

Get out. You can walk back

to town from here.

- Your wife will want to know where you are.

- No, she f***in' won't.

- Get out, Tilly!

- No!

You want me out? You'll have

to shoot me and push me out.

Probably do me a favour.

Just drive, old man.

Bitumen all the way from here, Pol.

Prick.

Oh, what the f*** do I do now?

Hey, Rex.

Never hide a roll of hundreds

up your arse.

First place them fellas would look.

Maybe I just come with you?

Just to the Alice.

Lay low for a little while.

Don't worry, old man.

I'll look after ya.

Hey, Rex.

- What are you going to Darwin for?

- None of your business.

Hey, Rex, I'm feeling much better?

Well, good for you.

Hey, Rex.

- Get in the front.

- What?

Get in the front.

I've never been driven round

by a whitefella before.

Get in the front

or I'm turning the meter on.

Unless it was a paddy wagon.

Oh, come on, Rex!

Let me dream!

Alice Springs. Look at it, Rex.

Glorious.

They say if you see the Todd flow,

means you'll come back some day.

I'm not coming back, Tilly.

Whether it's flowing or not.

So, just the one night, sir?

That's right. Yeah, two rooms, one night.

Great. Not a problem.

And that'll be one room for you

and one for...

Tilly?

Okay. He's gonna need some photo ID.

- For security purposes.

- I've got none of that.

Then I'm afraid I can't help him.

- Well, he can stay in my room, then.

- It's a single, sir. I'm sorry.

But I don't have ID.

I don't even have a wallet!

How's that for f***in' photo ID?

Got to go to the bank.

You need some dough?

To get home?

Don't worry about me, Rex.

That mob down the riverbed,

they'll look after me.

I got family everywhere.

You really gonna do this thing?

Yeah.

Maybe you'll come back as a ghost gum?

Sit down by that riverbank all day long.

I'd like that. Yeah.

- Bye, Tilly.

- Good luck, old man.

Leave a message if you're good-looking.

Hey, Pol. It's me, Rex.

I'm in Alice Springs.

About halfway, I suppose.

Been a hell of a ride so far, you know.

I had this young blackfella, Tilly.

Fixed the windscreen in William Creek.

So I gave him a lift, and then

he robbed me in Oodnadatta.

But his wife reminded me

of... of you, you know.

Anyhow, I'll call again.

You're precious, mate.

- F***in' precious!

- Pol...

Know what? You got rawhide knackers.

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