Last Passenger Page #2

- No. No, no.

I'm warming my legs up. ER is

a war zone this time of year.

- Warm up on me.

- Excuse me?

Guess my condition.

Oh!

Okay...

- Heart murmur.

- Nice guess! That's talent.

- Aah for a seven-year old it's entertainment.

- And how would you know this assessment?

Well, first, I'd check your fifth intercostal space,

your middle auxiliary point.

- Remind me where that is again?

- It's right here.

So just under my left breast...

And then.. I would feel for a palpable murmur

- or a thrill (vibration).

- It's what we call it. A thrill.

- You'd feel me for a thrill ...

Then... I would send you...

... for an ECG examination.

You know I don't think the stain is coming out.

I'd like to take you up on your offer just now.

Or you can buy me a new coat with your

Doctor's salary.

Shall I give you my number?

Sarah... Barwell? You could a

doctor with handwriting like this.

Funny,.. or rude. I can't work out what

sums you up best.

- All my patients have that problem.

- And do any of your patients get to call you by your first name?

Ooh... only special cases.

Lewis.

Well you get some rest, Lewis.

I'll wake you before Tonbridge.

Sarah...

- Gosh, I'm so sorry! I just closed my eyes for a few seconds.

- Have we missed your stop?

- No, no, no, no!

- It's Max, do you mind keeping an eye on him for a minute?

- No, of course not.

- I'm just going to go and try and find the guard.

- If he wakes up, can you just tell him...

- You've gone to find the guard.

Yes.

There is nothing to worry about.

Hello?

- What do you think you're doing?

- Have you seen the guard?

- Are you looking for an earl grey?

There is someone hurt outside. Might be on the tracks.

Maybe hit by the train.

Well, there's a first. Someone throws themselve in front of the

train and it's not delayed?

- Have you seen the guard?

- And what can he do about it?

He could give you a 50 pound fine

for pulling that I suppose.

- It's an emergency.

- An emergency, where? Are we on fire?

- There's a guy outside. I'm trying to let the driver know.

- What's he going to do back up and give mouth-to-mouth?

Why not wait until we're outside this tunnel

and then call an ambulance.

Well?

What are you waiting for?

Hi! Ambulance please!

Hi, I'm on a train. There's been an accident

on the Hastings line somewhere between...

... Seven Oaks and Tonbridge.

Well, there's someone outside on the tracks,

badly hurt.

I can't find the guard!

Lewis Shaler, I'm an E&E consultant at

Tonbridge. I'm on my way there now.

Yah no please do, because they're gonna have the

blue light and then he's...

- Okay, thanks, thank you.

- You're on your way to the emergency room?

Traffic accident, the registrar is second best, their understaffed.

- Where's your receptionist?

- Needless in a boozer beef, felt up under the mistletoe I imagine. Goodnight.

Oh, can you do that one? Yeh!

This one... More...

- I'll try.

- You do that very nice by the way.

- Normally people are wowed.

- Nearly.

- I don't know how to do it.

- Can you do this one?

Try it faster.

You are so sweet!

- Dad, look at this!

- A just a little party trick.

- What? Did you find the guard?

- Don't run, Max!

You know I haven't heard nary a twit from you in

several minutes, and I'm getting concerned.

Okay, I just saw someone outside on the tracks.

On the tracks? Doing what?

Crawling!

Crawling? Where?

Along the tracks.

- I don't get it. Who is that?

- I don't know. Max, wait!

- Sorry to bother you. Have you seen the guard?

- No.

- Is there something wrong?

- No. Thanks anyway.

Hello there!

- How old are you?

- Max! Keep gloves on and your... hat.

Okay. This... is ours.

Will you be okay?

- I think so. But I better not leave that

heart murmur too long though.

- Heh.

- Goodbye then.

- Goodbye.

You have my number.

- It's no use, you're going to have to work

a lot harder for the next one.

- I don't believe it!

- The train didn't stop! Dad, the train didn't stop!

- I know!

23:
10,

Charing Cross to Tunbridge Wells...

Tonbridge.

- Where are you going?

- I'm gonna have a word with the driver.

All the way to the front again? My knee hurts!

Your knee doesn't hurt!

- He can stay here if he's tired.

- Oh we don't have first class tickets.

Neither do I.

No guard to worry about, apparently.

Oh well my knee hurts too. Isn't that funny! And I'm

armed to the teeth with party tricks. You can run along.

- Dad never runs anywhere.

- Oh, they're gorgeous! Max, look!

- Otter for Leah, penguin for Jake.

- My grandchildren.

- Sit down Max!

- But, the seats are purple. Purple is for girls.

- Don't be daft, pink is for girls, not purple.

- No, purple is for big strong men!

- Like Batman.

- Alright stand then. It's up to you.

I'll uh... I'll be right back!

Max, this isn't just any purple!

This is Imperial Purple.

Don't you know where it comes from?

A rare sea snail -

- that clings to the rocky shores of the

remote islands off the coast of Morocco.

Africa.

In ancient times it was worth more than its weight in gold -

- because it was the color of Roman royalty.

It was the color of immortality.

You have to manage yourself for now.

And I'll get out when I get out.

I don't know.

Listen, I'm stuck on a train. I can't do any better than that.

Hello?

Hello? Is the driver there?

I really need to speak to someone.

- Is the driver there? This is one of your passengers.

- How many of you are left?

- Is this the driver?

- Passengers.

- What?

- How many passengers?

There's... six of us!

Now listen, some of us were to get off at Tonbridge,

and there was someone... tracks?

Hello?

Hello!

And then there's this picture.

How nice.

And he starts to sew the leg back on to him.

I'm an E&E doctor and

I have to get into the hospital!

There's been a traffic accident! I'll call the police!

I'm already one step ahead of you on that!

- He just went past my stop!

- You didn't find a guard then?

No, all I found was his ticket machine.

- And what, do you think that was him rolling around outside in the dirt?

- I don't know. But there's something up with the driver.

- I'd say he's just ignoring you. I would if I were him.

- He just spoke with me. He asked me how many passengers were left.

- And when I told him about the guy outside he hung up.

- He actually spoke to you?

There's an intercom in the guard's box.

And who said you could go in the guard's box?

The guard leave those too did he?

What?

Those keys.

What, these keys?

Tell you what why don't I call the police right now and

tell them what you're up to?

Okay. Good thinking!

This isn't funny!

Oh, my God!

Don't!

That's my stop!

Heh! What are you doing?

What is it?

Take your pick. Stuck needle or no pressure in the brakes.

Oh my God!

Step over. After you.

Don't these stop the train?

In theory!

- Everyone knows pulling the communication

post stops the train. Everyone!

- Everyone is wrong!

No way to disable the brakes from the outside?

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