Last Ride Page #2

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Dad!

- I can't swim!

- What's that?

I can't swim!

- Best way to learn...

- Aaagh!

Come on! Swim, mate!

Swim, swim! Swim!

There you go.

Your first swimming lesson.

Oh, f***.

G'day, there.

G'day.

Hey, go get some more wood

for the fire, mate.

That's why we're here.

You can't have a fire, mate.

And you can't camp here either.

Oh, sorry, bro.

Like, I didn't realise.

Alright?

I've been coming out here since

I was a little kid, you know, and...

...like, we need to cook and keep warm.

It's a national park now, mate.

Yeah, I know. Good thing.

If you was in a camping area,

then you could have a fire.

Yeah, but, well, I...

I hate wakin' up and seeing

other people's f***in' washing.

You know what I mean?

And, um, I want him to have,

like, a real bush experience.

One night, OK?

Yeah? That'd be great.

How about a brew...

cup of tea, before you go?

Yeah. Why not?

Unc? Cup of tea?

No, you gotta go, "Bzzz!"

And... together.

You go...

Can't he speak?

Yeah. Course he can.

Just chooses not to.

Too much jibber-jabber

humbug, eh, Uncle?

I'm a blackfella too, sort of.

My great-grandmother,

she was a full-blood.

Yeah, course you are.

You must have been born

in the middle of the day. See?

You got that fair skin

and blue eyes.

I was born

in the middle of the night,

so I've got brown skin

and brown eyes.

Koori rulz. The only bet

is on black.

Hey! You really are a blackfella!

Anyone home?

Anyone home?

I'll sleep well tonight.

Hey.

This bloke went to a fancy dress party

with a woman on his shoulders.

And, uh, the people

at the party said,

"Well, what have you come as?"

And he says,

"Oh, I've come as a tortoise".

And they said, "Well, why have you

got a woman on your shoulders?"

And he said, "Oh, that's Michelle".

Why is that funny?

Michelle, mate. Michelle.

Michelle... my shell. Get it?

Why won't a cannibal eat a clown?

Dunno.

'Cause he thinks it tastes funny.

Hey, where would you find

a dog with no legs?

I don't know.

Where you f***in' left him.

Oh. Hang on.

Come on!

Oh! Good-lookin' bastard, eh?

- You just press that button there.

- Press that. Righto.

- And then press OK.

- Right. Get back.

Are you ready?

F***.

- Who's that ugly sh*t?

- Hey!

- Do you want a look?

- OK.

Hey, do you see those six

bright stars up there, all together?

Mm.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Well, the blackfellas reckon

there uused to be seven of them.

They were called the Seven Sisters.

What happened to the other sister?

Uh, well, she came down to earth.

Like an alien.

No, mate. No.

Um, she was more like a mother.

Well, that's what

the blackfellas reckon anyway.

How come my mum left me?

I dunno.

Did you hit her too?

Nah, that wasn't the reason.

I dunno, some women just aren't

meant to be mothers, I s'pose.

Sheep don't leave their lambs.

Well, sometimes they do.

No, they don't.

Ah, shut up and go to sleep,

you little bum.

I'm not a bum.

No, you're the underpants.

# I heard

it also rained in Tallahassee

# But not a drop fell

on little old me

# 'Cause I was in shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu-shu-shu-shu

# Sugar Town

# If I had a million dollars or ten

# I'd give it to you, world,

and then

# You'd go away

and let me spend my life

# In shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu

# Shu-shu-shu-shu-shu-shu

Sugar Town. #

What the f***?

What you doin'? Hey?

- Ugh!

- What's all this?

Aaagh! Aaagh! Aaagh!

Aaagh! Aaaagh!

Get that sh*t off!

Don't you f***in' kick me!

Aaagh! Aaagh!

F***in' little girl!

Aaagh! Aaagh! Ow!

Aaagh! Aaagh!

Go and wash that f***in' sh*t

off your face!

Give us a look.

Oh, there's some cauliflowers.

Winner! And the crowd goes wild.

You didn't do much of a job

washing your face.

You still look like a girl.

You want some breakfast?

We've got all that good stuff.

Come on, you must be hungry.

My face hurts.

Ow! Ow!

Hey, keep still.

You nick that vest?

It's magic protection.

Ow.

How did you get those scars?

Well, all sorts of sh*t

goes on in prison, mate.

Like what?

Oh, well, I was young... easy prey.

People take advantage -

do bad things to ya.

Know what I mean?

Come on. Come on in.

I can't swim. You know that.

No, you can't swim yet.

Come on.

Hey? It'll be fine, right?

I got ya.

You're not too cold?

- Uh-uh.

- No?

Right. Now, take a deep breath.

Relax, relax. Relax.

- You right?

- Mm.

OK. Put your head back.

Straighten your back. That's it.

Righto. Put your arms out wide.

Right.

OK.

N ow

I'm gonna let you go.

Relax.

You right? You're right.

You're right, you're right,

you're right. I've got ya. I've got ya.

I've got ya. Try again.

OK.

Relax.

Keep your back straight.

There you go.

There you go. See?

Eh?

Now, you get into trouble, you can

always roll onto your back and float.

Sh*t.

Come on, mate.

F***in' black bastards

must have dobbed us in.

F***!

F***.

You stay there.

Sh*t!

Are we bogged?

Go see if you can find us some water.

Gross.

Nah, it's alright.

What are we gonna eat?

We could boil up those sheep's bones.

Maybe catch a dingo.

We can get the car out

in the morning.

Hey?

Can you eat a dog?

- How about that?

- Yep! A bit more!

Is that good enough?

Yeah.

- Ah!

- Yes!

Good driving!

It's about 300 or 400 k's around...

...or 30 across,

then there's a roadhouse.

How do you know?

I've been here before.

It's a lake.

Yeah, sorta.

- Where'd you learn to count?

- Same place as you.

Mate, 14 and 8 makes 22,

not f***in' 21.

My game.

Finish up, mate.

I'm off for a quick drink.

- See you in the morning.

- See you, Dad.

What you doin', eh?

Eh?!

You f***in' dog!

Dad?

You didn't have to.

Didn't have to what?

Hurt Max.

He wasn't hurting me.

He was just lonely.

Hey, don't you say that,

you little poofter.

Yeah, well, it doesn't matter now

anyway, 'cause he's dead.

What?

He's f***in' dead. Right? He's dead.

Dead.

Oi!

Chook!

I hate you!

F***in' cut that out!

Listen, mate. F*** it.

He was still breathing

when we left, yeah?

You saw me check on him.

I hate you.

Mate, there are just some things

you're too young to understand.

I'm supposed to protect ya.

He was like a proper dad.

He looked after me, not like you!

You f...

F***!

Proper dad?

I'll show you a f***in' proper dad.

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

Hey, get in.

Alright, I'm sorry, yeah?

But you needed to learn a lesson.

Come on, mate.

Hey.

You right there?

Out of there, boy.

You deaf?

Hey?

Hey, behave yourself.

You cheeky little sh*t.

- Wait on.

- You wanna take care.

F***!

Get in the car.

What the f*** are you doing, mate?

Eh?

And just squeeze the trigger.

Shot! Up and back.

Up and back.

I camped here with your mum...

...just after we met.

We stole a Monaro

and dumped it up in Queensland.

This was the key.

She gave it to me

to remember the fun we'd had.

Here.

She was alright, you know, your mum.

It was like a...

like a travelling circus sometimes.

You might have even been made here.

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