Laurel Canyon Page #4

- No, you weren't liking the uppers either.

I told you not to call my house.

Look, I have to contact your family

while you're underage. It's the law.

My mom is gonna kick my ass.

I mean, she's freaking now, but she's gonna

torch my ass when I get out of here.

Why are things so wrong

with your mom?

I don't know.

You seem like you do.

She doesn't get me, alright?

She's in my face over my grades,

my hair, my friends, tattoos...

All that sort of sh*t, you know.

I can do nothing right.

So why should I care?

- F***!

- What?

- I missed a punch, f***ed up.

- Mickey, sweetheart.

Could you just keep that

to yourself next time,

...let him play through?

Let me talk to him.

Sorry, that's not quite there

but that's the direction.

So it's okay?

We'll finesse it in the mix.

We'll make it work.

What do you think?

- Truthfully?

- No, lie to me.

Yeah, truthfully.

I'm not feeling it.

Not feeling it?

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay, don't apologize.

Just tell me what you mean.

I don't know what

I mean exactly. I just...

I mean I...

I guess it's just not pulling me in.

or it feels like its not pulling them in...

...exactly...

...or enough.

I don't know...

They I don't seem... inspired.

Inspired...

Progress report.

Excuse me?

"Progress report"?

no "hello, How are you?"

Jesus, Claudia.

you're really warming me up.

What?

I love capitalism as much

as the next guy, Claudia,

but this is off the tracks.

Your commerce has so fired my ass

I can't even sit up straight.

Listen Jane. The age of the queer is never

happening okay? Get real, this is commerce.

Honestly Claudia,

do good to your own soul.

Pushing for Christmas radio play

will never maintain anything

but a lot of sh*t

wrapped in paper. I promise.

I don't know what happened,

Jane, you know?

We used to be on the same pitch.

I don't know what happened either Claudia.

I guess you started exercising.

I gotta go.

B*tch.

C*nt.

Can we just say how

lovely Jane looks today?

Can we just have

a moment of appreciation

for our sweet, lovely Jane?

Get the f*** out of my chair.

I had a math teacher

in high school

who was sort of my mentor.

You know, I was one of those Science geeks,

my mother wasn't really around, so...

he took me under his wing and,

and he convinced me

that I should be a doctor.

which seemed

the right idea at the time.

- I guess I needed to prove myself.

- To who?

Who were you trying

to prove yourself to?

I don't know...

My math teacher.

Your math teacher?

You went through Harvard

Medical school for your math teacher?

No, I guess I was trying

to prove myself to myself.

You know, I needed to prove

that I wasn't a loser.

A loser? Why would

you think you were a loser?

I was around a lot

of losers growing up.

Not the worthless type

of loser, or bad person...

just lost,

people of loose hands.

I didn't want to be that.

I wanted to be anything but that.

You're everything but that.

I set up a meeting with his mom.

It's not protocol,

but I think it will help.

Is he still violent?

No, he was never violent.

I thought you had to restrain him.

No, I sedated him.

- Oh, I thought he was psychotic.

- Huh? No...

He had a psychotic episode.

He ODed on a methamphetamines group.

He's not psychotic in general.

When did you start reading

the "Spin" magazine?

I am not to reading it.

- Are you just looking at it?

- I'm skimming it.

Is it helping?

Yes, it is informative.

- how a spelling book?

- Yes, something like that.

Getting the basics.

a light survey

of popular culture.

- Are you teasing me?

- Yeah

Should I read the "Journal of Medicine"

or the "Harvard Review"?

Would that be more appropriate?

- Or something more scholarly?

- Oh come on, Al.

I was teasing.

I could have harassed you

about that porno magazines

but I didn't even bring it up.

Come on, I don't care

about the porno magazines.

- I just didn't know you liked jugs.

- Oh God.

- Sorry I don't have enormous breasts.

- Please stop it.

Your breasts are fine.

Your breasts are perfect.

Really.

Yes but who has had 72 lovers?

Where did you come up

with that number?

I am guessing,

from what you said.

I am 16 years older than you.

It's a lifetime of f***ing.

And I'm not apologising.

My past isn't about you.

- That is cold...

- No, it's not, it's clear.

Will you keep me in my place?

I don't want to keep you anywhere.

You're free to move around.

But I'm not moving,

for your information.

You can keep working

in tough clothing, Jane,

but I know you're

madly in love with me.

That's irrelevant.

Okay. I'm tired baby, you know.

- You're up early.

- I know, I'm not happy about it.

Do you need some Valium?

I don't want to get

back in that sh*t again.

Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

Try swimming. Helps.

- So, how are you? How's work going?

- Good.

- Just not sleeping enough myself.

- I am sure.

- Hospital's been busy.

- Lots of psychos, huh?

No, just a lot of...

...pain souls.

Listen, I appreciate

your interest in Alex.

I meant to tell you that.

I really like Alex, I like

her a lot. She is smart.

I know I was a little protective of her

when we first got here,

I just wasn't sure how

she was gonna deal with...

...your scene.

I think she's dealing

just fine with my scene.

I think she likes it.

I mean, obviously...

She's getting stunned with you

and she's reading "Spin".

I don't read "Spin".

I've never read "Spin".

Look, she found her own way into

the studio. That had nothing to do with me.

Yes, it's always

like that with you, isn't it?

They always just happen

and find their way and...

What's that supposed to mean?

It means you're charming. That's all.

Someone's looking out for you.

And there ain't who's looking

out for you? I'm sorry, come on!

Your life is pretty good

from my prospective.

- Well, I worked for what I have.

- And I haven't?

You're so stuck on the negative.

- I'm not stuck on the negative.

- Yes you are.

It's like you've completely blocked

out all the fun we used to have.

I've not blocked it out.

It's all filed.

Hey, what about

the trip to Vera Cruz?

Yeah. When Ronny went to jail?

No, before that.

When we were on his boat.

In the storm? That was fun?

- That sucked!

- No it didn't, it was exciting.

and even you thought

it was exciting at the time.

I wasn't excited.

I was hysterical!

There's a huge difference

between hysteria and excitement.

Are we ever gonna

have a relationship?

We're having a relationship.

Here we are...

...having it.

Look, Ian has got

a room at the Chateau.

We could stay there for a while

and you'll have the place to yourself.

No, I think you should stay.

Alex's still looking for an apartment

and we need something

permanent anyway.

So just stay.

Why don't you ask her?

Maybe she wants to be alone.

I'm sure Alex wants you to stay.

I mean she can't stay

away from you as it is.

He's gonna give her a frontal lo.

No, he will give her Thorazine

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