Le bonheur de Pierre Page #4

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was knocking at our door.

Its great white blanket covered

the great white blanket

of autumn.

Marcel, it's Michel.

Get Big Bertha ready.

I can't get over it.

Past New Year's and

the Frenchies are still here.

Looks like the Hundred Year's War.

Did you think they'd move out

at this time of year?

I won't have it, I tell you!

They'll be gone in a week.

That's just silly. In a week!

Lulu, mind your own business!

There, you see?

This whole thing is making you sick.

We have to attack by night.

Oh, good grief.

It's World War III.

Drat the man.

Alien, Frenchie

and a mental age of 5.

Steven! Come here

and make yourself useful.

Cool. Can I finish

my game of ping-pong first?

No.

Come on, Killer.

You're the third person

I've talked to.

We left a briefcase behind

in one of your planes.

You were going to mail it to

us here in St. Simone du Nord.

Yes!

I know it's January 4.

But you're supposed to be

the emergency service,

aren't you?

Yes, I'll hold the line.

What's he doing?

- I dunno.

Phew.

Hello, hello. This is Plumber.

I repeat, this is Plumber.

Will you quit repeating

everything and shut up?

Roger!

- If you say " Roger" once more,

I'll make you swallow

your walkie-talkie.

Watch it!

If you harm a hair of his head,

you're a dead man!

Man, she pisses me off! Roger.

Who does he think he is?

Hello? Yes, I'm still here.

And? Did they find it?

Yes, but they lost it again.

I need the papers to make

an insurance claim.

Are you sure?

The transporter's insured.

There's a copy somewhere

in France, for sure, Katie.

Don't call me Katie.

I hate nicknames.

Listen, Mario.

Just because we...

...did some painting together,

we won't get too familiar.

I told you that already.

Oh, yes. Okay.

It'll just seem strange

when we do the second coat.

Mario!

That's right.

That's good.

Frigging idiot.

Go for it, Steven.

Keep trying. You can do it!

Thanks, Mario. They sent it

here and it came back stamped

"not known at this address" .

It went back to France

and they sent it here again.

That smells like Michel Dolbec

to me. He can be nasty.

Yes? Yes, I'll hold on.

What is this stuff?

St. Bartholomew's Night.

It's my favourite.

Assertive,

with a long aftertaste.

Oh yes - it lasts forever.

It's well-named.

Jeanne had a wicked

sense of humour too.

She was bright, like you.

She used to say she liked

to lead men around by the fly.

- Very funny.

But the expression

is " by the nose" .

Isn't that what I said?

Did people like her?

St. Simone isn't Qubec.

It's an odd place.

They don't like strangers.

I'm from Riotord, 10 km away,

but to them I'm a stranger.

Michel Dolbec is the worst.

He's too full of himself.

Full of himself?

Proud.

He thinks he's special.

He owns the only store,

so he's the boss.

Pierre's the only one

who likes him.

My father likes everyone.

He's a physicist and philosopher.

A paradox.

A loveable paradox.

Yes, I'm still here.

Yes!

The bloody moron was

holding on by the cutter!

Hello? Hello hello?

Are you still there?

They say they mailed

the parcel to the inn.

I can guess who knows

where it is now.

Me too.

Are you okay, Steven?

Oops. Blast it!

Good evening, Mr. Mayor.

Or should I say Mr. Postmaster?

Good evening, Miss Martin.

I've been expecting

a parcel for weeks.

But it hasn't come.

I'm sorry but it's after four.

We're closed.

Winter hours.

The store is open.

The lights are on.

The store, yes.

But the post office is closed.

I've waited long enough.

You can make a small exception!

No, it doesn't work that way.

I can't open the post office

at all hours. There are rules.

When it's closed, it's closed.

I'll be happy to sell you milk,

but for your parcel,

Qubec Post sets the schedule.

Not me.

Imbecile. He did it on purpose.

I'm sure of it!

This bloody door!

All right?

Okay!

There we are, sir.

Have a nice day.

Good morning, Miss.

You're open. How nice.

From 10 to noon and 1 to 4

every day except Sunday.

A parcel was sent to us here.

For some unknown reason,

it was sent back to France.

But it'll come back any day now.

Have you received it?

I can't say off the top

of my head.

I'll have to check.

To make sure.

Right.

From France, you say.

- Exactly.

It wouldn't be a box in brown

paper, about this big?

Precisely.

Haven't seen hide

nor hair of it. Not yet.

You haven't seen it,

but you know what it looks like.

We never get mail. Never.

Not once since we arrived.

May I point out that I receive

the mail. I do not send it.

If you want to make a claim,

please call Qubec Post.

We have had no phone service

since yesterday evening.

Please, feel free.

OUT OF ORDER:

This really is

a godforsaken dump.

The only thing I can suggest is

to send your complaint by mail.

Qubec Post is proud to have

been of service to you.

I assure you Qubec Post

will be proud to hear from me.

So there.

Cut the enemy lines

of communication.

ADDRESS UNKNOWN:

RETURN TO SENDER

I bet she's looking for

a phone to call Qubec Post.

Hello, Marcel? Michel.

Get Big Bertha ready.

I'm on my way.

Hello, Mr. Mayor.

Lovely day, isn't it?

If you got lost in the forest

I'd like it even better.

Hello, Mr. Martin.

Do you know what? I think

the cold snapped my phone line.

The cold?

- Yes.

He's hopeless. The cold!

Tell me, Mr. Martin.

Are you ever in a bad mood,

even a tiny bit?

Never in Canada.

Nothing sticks to you, eh?

A real Teflon man.

Yep. Have a nice day.

You too.

Good morning.

May I use your phone, please?

OUT OF ORDER:

Sorry, it's not working.

Thank you.

Hey!

Move over!

For heaven's sake.

Press the gas pedal!

Yeah, right...

Good riddance.

Catherine!

You're bad. It's not funny!

I'll call the cops

if you don't watch out.

Oh, princess!

They iced the road. I saw it.

The car spun out of control.

I nearly went in the river.

No, they didn't.

They were sanding it.

You're still shaken, princess.

Poor Miss Martin.

Catherine, my poor darling.

I'll make you some tea.

I tell you...

They iced the road.

Oh, no.

Here.

Drink this.

You'll feel better.

It's a huge conspiracy.

The whole village is in it.

I saw them.

All watching like hyenas!

They want us dead! Paris.

I must go back to Paris!

I must go back to Paris.

Hello, Miss Martin. Poor lady.

Are you all right?

It's the Mayor, darling.

You'll be fine, you'll see.

If she'd like to see

some shots of Paris on TV,

try Channel 5.

They have a lot about France.

Tune in anytime.

They run it all day.

Thank you.

Marcel, I have to give

you a black mark.

You salt the road

in the morning.

Thank goodness no one was hurt.

- Yes.

We'll see to your car,

Miss Martin. Don't worry.

Next time...

Come and use

the phone at the restaurant.

It's bad luck. I was starting

to salt the road.

Miss Martin...

It's me, Big Joe.

The plumber?

I haven't forgotten you.

Leave her alone!

Please forgive her,

Mr. Big Joe. She's in shock.

It's all fine now, right?

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