Le Week-End Page #2

Stop it. Stop it!

Don't be such a girl.

No, really... It really hurts.

Oh, God, Nick, can't

you be a man for once?

- I'll leave you here.

- You do that. Go on.

Jesus, God! Oh!

Oh...

Ah! Oh...

It really hurts!

I'm serious.

It's not a terrible limp!

Here?

You choose lunch, I choose

dinner. Usual arrangement.

How's your knee?

Let's keep walking.

Good boy.

Too modern.

Too empty.

Too empty.

Too touristy.

And they've got an English menu.

- We have lift off.

- You sure?

Good.

- Madame, monsieur, bonjour.

- Bonjour.

Bliss.

- Madame, monsieur, le menu.

- Merci.

Merci.

I can't think when I've ever

had a harder decision to make.

Monsieur?

Madame.

Vivant.

Ros.

It's the nicest thing I've

ever put in my mouth.

Listen.

Thanks for bringing me.

Try.

Mmm!

Oh, God.

I was sceptical. But I'm

so glad we did this.

Why sceptical?

You've been attacking

me a lot, lately.

Do you know why?

DO you?

You're making that noise.

Am I?

Have I always done it?

Like an old horse at the trough.

Enjoyment, some people call it.

Lack of inhibition, freedom.

Are you free?

I'd love not to give a f***.

This is it, isn't it, my love?

This is where I want to be forever.

You always did edit out

the arguments and misery.

You can't not love and

hate the same person.

Usually within the space of

five minutes, in my experience.

But you like things steady.

Too steady.

Why have you got your

constipated face on?

The fact of the matter...

Actually...

What's happened...

About a month ago, the college

insisted I take early retirement.

Oh, Nick.

Oh, f***.

One of the students made

an official complaint.

What did you say?

I said, "if you spent as much time on

your studies as you do on your hair,

"you might have a chance of

escaping your background."

She complained to the dean.

Apparently her hair is her history,

her identity.

And something else, I forget what.

Ah, oui.

Yes, yes, we're finished.

Why didn't you tell me before?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

I couldn't think about it.

- It's just here.

- I hope it's dirty.

I could do with cheering up.

Definitely earthy.

Is this it?

Are you expecting me to die?

Unfortunately, I'm expecting

you to live forever.

Baudelaire, Soutine,

Sartre, Beckett...

Your heroes.

They're all here.

But it's not as though they're

actually here, is it?

Don't panic.

It's only dust and bones.

That's the problem.

As Beckett says,

"Do we mean love when we say love?"

What else do we mean?

That's stupid.

I think he means there's more to

love than loving or being loved.

Come on, where's Sartre?

This is fun!

I was brilliant at school.

Bit of a star at university.

I have to say, I'm amazed by how

mediocre I've turned out to be.

You can draw, you're musical.

You can explain Wittgenstein

to the illiterate.

You contrived to chuck them

away, your numerous talents.

I did? Why would I do that?

Masochism?

It's not too late for you

to find another direction.

Why don't you think about it?

Do you think so?

People don't change.

They do.

They can get worse!

Why have you cheered up so much?

What is wrong with you?

Come on.

Can you see anything there?

- Have I got skin cancer?

- Yes.

I knew it.

You also mentioned early onset

Alzheimer's and stomach cancer.

That's right.

And a lazy eye.

What else?

You'll be sorry that you

never loved me enough.

Mmm.

Kidding you

You used to laugh about

Everybody that was hanging out

Now you don't talk so loud

And now you don't seem so proud

About having to be scrounging

Your next meal

How does it feel?

How does it feel?

To be without a home

Like a complete unknown

I've got the key.

Hold on. Hold on.

Where are my keys?

We're not at home. Even

you might have noticed.

I get anxious if I don't

know where they are.

I help you find things all the time,

even when it's futile and stupid.

And don't use my toothbrush.

You'll give me gum disease.

- That's not even yours.

- It bloody is!

- The blue one.

- Oh, yes.

- Blue toothbrushes.

- It's a panda welcome.

The welcoming committee.

Why's that panda staring at me?

- I'm worried.

- Bonjour, monsieur. Bonjour.

Catch me!

Pardon.

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

They'll take our last penny.

If it's the end of the world,

I want to go down gulping oysters.

Come on.

I love it when you're in this mood!

- Do you think you're bi-polar?

- Tri-polar, possibly.

Do you think that

part of the reason you invited

Jack and Angie back into the house

was because you can't

bear being alone with me?

I can't bear to be apart from you.

Well, you are

pathetically dependent.

Why don't you want to

help young people?

Shut up.

Idiot!

You're a f***ing idiot, sometimes.

I want a new start.

Sorry?

I wanted to tell you.

I've gone as far as I

want to at the school.

I'm fed up teaching Biology GCSE.

I don't want to run the department.

That's mad. What would

you do instead?

I don't know.

I want to learn Italian,

play the piano,

dance the tango.

Is it such a terrible idea?

Once the kids have gone...

What's left of us?

You've picked our

anniversary to dump me?

We must at least be

able to talk about it.

Right?

Of course.

Come on, love.

Let's enjoy our dinner.

Come on. Let's talk

about the bathroom.

I've got some good ideas.

Nick?

The least you can do is

buy me a last supper.

My pleasure.

Go outside and smoke.

- I don't smoke.

- And wait.

Get your coat.

And get my coat too.

That's all you have to do.

Right.

F***ing hell.

Right.

Excusez-moi. My coat, please.

Of course.

Is everything okay for you, madam?

- Yes, great, thanks.

- Thank you.

Ah, excusez-moi.

Pardon.

Nick!

Nick! Over here!

For Christ's sake,

what are you doing?

Get this thing.

They've plastic on it.

Come on!

Come on, give it a

really good pull!

Yes!

Ah!

God! Come on.

Rock and f***ing roll!

Don't tell the kids.

Merci.

Come on. Come on.

- Let's do it all again.

- What do you mean?

Try me again and I promise

it'll be more fun this time.

Get a room!

Hey, Nick Burrows!

It is. Nick Burrows?

No. Is that really you, under all

that terribly un-English passion?

My God! Good God, hello there!

Yes, hi, how are you? How the damn

devil in the entire world are you?

Tell me everything!

- Wow!

- Great. Good.

Um... Not bad.

- Well, then, this is my wife, Meg.

- Hello.

- Meg, Morgan. Morgan, Meg.

- Your wife?

I've never seen a man

kiss his wife like that.

Well, look at her. She's so...

She's so beautiful.

May I... I gotta try a little of...

A little of that. Hello, Meg.

Let's see. Wow, that's

just delightful!

Well, what are the two of

you up to around here?

The weekend, you know, in Paris.

- Oh, really?

- For old times' sake.

What about you? I thought

you lived in New York.

Yeah. I know, I thought I did too.

But I'm back here and I've got a

brand new wife, as a matter of fact.

I'm scribbling and, you know,

prostituting myself as usual.

Economics, politics,

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