Leap of Faith Page #3

Her mother's been beating her.

That's nice.

Where is she sitting?

Town's small, Jonas.

Don't mention she's knocked up.

I'll be good.

Did you study my summary?

Yeah. And the Grange ladies told me

who's been sleeping around.

Tiny, you got the smoke ready?

What's Roger doing?

Tell him five shills is enough.

Come on, the angels will see him.

What's the deal

with the cherry hat again?

Electric fence.

Visualise the fence with cherries on it.

- What do you like? This or this?

- Ready to check your receiver?

I'm having an accessory crisis.

Testing sibilance, one, two.

Can you hear me?

That's fine.

Boy, are you a tough room!

The dark grey, definitely.

You look gorgeous.

Always look better than they do, Janey.

And now, let's go give

some empty lives a little meaning!

- Are you ready for a miracle?

- Ready as I can be!

- Are you ready for a miracle?

- The spirit will set you free

Are you ready? Are you ready?

- Are you ready for a miracle?

- Ready as I can be

- Are you ready for a miracle?

- The spirit will set you free

Are you ready for a miracle?

Be strong in the Lord

and in the power of his might!

Be strong in the Lord

and the power of his might!

Put on the whole armour of God

that ye may be able to stand

against the wiles of the Devil!

Come on, Hoov. Goose 'em.

I got a cold audience out there.

Yes, I'm ready! Yeah!

I hear Satan knocking,

but he can't come in! Yes, sir!

Come on, people!

Turn it loose,

let him fix it and let him in!

Take it down, angels.

I gotta talk to these people.

I gotta talk to these people a second.

I wanna tell you a story...

- This'll move you.

...about a man from New York.

A man named Thomas.

Now, Thomas lived on Fifth Avenue.

Views of Central Park

even from the bathroom!

Beautiful wife. Two sweet kids.

But his life was a mess.

You know why?

Because of the fear.

Afraid his business would fail.

Afraid his children would come to harm.

Afraid of balding

and his wife leaving him.

Afraid of death.

But death's a breeze.

Ever heard of anyone

coming back to complain? No!

- It's life that'll kill you...

- Matt, give your people a wake-up call.

...and Thomas was a prisoner of fear.

- Amen, Preacher!

- Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

...he got a $2,000 hairpiece

and a world-class doctor.

- But was Tom happy?

- No!

No! N-O.

Because when Thomas finally

came to me, he still had the fear.

The fear is bigger than doctors!

The fear is bigger than money!

- Absolutely!

- Amen!

There's only thing bigger

than the fear, my friends.

And that one thing... is the faith.

- Hallelujah!

- Yeah! Yeah!

Faith that the universe needs him!

Faith that his woman

loves his soul not his hair!

Faith that his children will be protected

not by a man with a.357 Magnum,

but by The Man with the super-charged

grenade launcher of love!

And that one man is one man

and one man only.

That man is Jesus Christ!

Yeah!

If you wanna feel happy,

if you wanna feel love,

all you gotta do...

If you wanna feel safe,

if you wanna feel strong,

if you wanna walk tall,

all you gotta do,

all you gotta do,

all you gotta do is get saved!

Thank you, Jesus!

Thank you, Jesus!

- Say "Hallelujah."

- Hallelujah!

- Looking good, Jo Jo.

- Holy juice pumps through my veins!

I feel a healing coming on.

But I need to know

you're on the side of the Lord.

I need a sign of your faith.

I'm not asking you to pay

for this beautiful music, no!

I'm not asking you to pay

for the word of God.

What I do need is

some token that you believe.

- How about that ruby ring?

- You belong to the most exclusive club!

A club that only God's

faithful and generous can join.

- Only then...

- Give me that ring!

No one can keep you

out of the kingdom of heaven!

- Tell her I'm gonna kill her!

- You're meat, baby.

OK, I'll be good!

They are going to pass among you.

- The more you give, the more you live!

- Praise the Lord, brother!

The Lord spoke to me tonight.

He's searching for some special people.

They'll receive great rewards

in material goods.

He wants these special people

to be saved here on stage with me!

It's sad out there, that's all I have to say.

It's burgers tonight.

Oh, people,

the Lord is speaking to me right now.

- It better be good.

- Relax. Cherry hat. Section 4, row F.

You, sir, in the brown jacket.

I feel your burden.

Who? Who, me?

Yes, sir. Tell me

if I'm hearing the Lord right.

- You've a problem with your neighbour?

- I sure have!

- That fence is going to harm your kids?

- Yes, sir!

Amazing!

...make him your friend,

serve him your best fried chicken!

- 'Cause yours is the best in the county.

- It is!

I'd love some of that.

Now thank the Lord for his saving!

Section 5, row A is the glitter jeans.

Remember glitter jeans?

Sister!

You're suffering deeply.

You're worried about your little girl.

- Yes, Reverend.

- Stand up.

The Lord says a strike unto any

of his children is a strike unto him.

Lord, I hear you. Please forgive me.

- Jesus forgives you. Say "Hallelujah!"

- Hallelujah!

Fishing cap, section 4, row F.

You, sir. Come up on stage

and be cured of your gambling!

That's incredible!

Section 1, pink mu-mu. She lost her job.

You, in the pink dress.

Receive the Lord

and you will find another job!

First row. White shirt. Back problem.

You, sir. Believe in the Lord

and cure your backache!

Same section, yellow shirt.

Hearing problem.

You, sir, come up on stage!

Hearing problem!

Section 2, the blue-haired lady.

She's got arthritis.

You, too, ma'am. Come up on stage!

- We're gonna help some people.

- Ah, we are!

- He's got trouble with his neighbours.

- Let him fix it! Let him in!

Hallelujah!

I'm feeling something tonight!

- He's got a sore neck.

- Receive the anointing in Jesus' name!

- Say, "Thank you, Jesus!"

- She needs a job.

You need a job?

Now you're working for Jesus!

- A gambling man.

- Get the strength in your life!

Holy name of Jesus!

- He can't hear a thing.

- Hear the word, hear the word!

In Jesus' holy name!

- Welcome to the kingdom of heaven.

- Arthritis.

Arthritis? Take the hand

of God's right-hand man.

Believe in the power of the Lord. Believe.

Raise your hands. Raise them up!

Wave your hands like this!

Thank you, Jesus!

Someone here's just been

cured of their asthma.

Hello, friend!

She's got bad bones, Reverend.

Hold it, hold it!

Take it down just a second.

Take it down.

We got someone special here.

- What's your name?

- Emma Schlarp.

- How long you had bone trouble?

- Years.

Well, God's gonna make

a miracle for you tonight.

O Lord, I'm just a man like any other,

but send a miracle through my hands

to help my sister Emma.

Come on, Emma.

Show me the power of the Lord.

Praise God. Praise God.

Praise God!

Thank you, Jesus. Come on, walk to me.

Go on, Emma!

Yes! Yes!

It's a miracle! Hallelujah!

It's a miracle! Dance with me!

Oh, say, "Thank you, Jesus."

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