Learning to Drive

Slow down. Park there.

Mr. Yampolsky, you have followed all the rules.

You'll pass your test tomorrow,

I'm sure.

And after you get your license,

I suspect you'll buy the biggest, fastest car

And throw all the rules out of the window.

It is not a joke.

Remember driving is a freedom.

I wish you to enjoy every kind of freedom...

As long as you don't hurt someone.

You promise me?

- Okay, Mr. Singh.

- Mr. Singh Tur.

- Mr. Singh Tur.

- Thank you.

The objective here is to be at a minimum...

Six cars at least from the nearest vehicle in front

You cant help it they charge you once in a while...

Like this little hot dog wants to go by, in a sports car...

But by in large most people run along in about the same speed...

I like to drive in the speed of traffic.

Taxi!

Ted!

Ted!

- You can't run out on me!

- Hudson and Jane. Quick! Quick!

Hold on! Hold on, please.

Go! Go!

- Sh*t!

- Crazy.

You're just a bastard!

I inform me in a public place so I can't make a scene!

And you thought that would work?

- Hey, cut that out.

- You thought that would work?

- Excuse me, you said Hudson & Jane?

- Yeah, Hudson & Jane.

Is that where she lives?

Oh, you cock-sucker!

Oh, cock-sucker!

- I'm not going home with you, Wendy.

- What?

- After 21 years?

- Yes

- How long have you been lying to me?

- I didn't lie!

- I did not f***ing lie!

- I suddenly know anything was wrong?

Now you blind...you blind-side me.

Oh blind-side you?

When did you ever notice anything, Wendy?

On the rare occasion when you look up from your book...

Or your f***ing computer

You look...

Right through me like I'm a ghost.

Well, I'm looking through you now and you're a prick.

A prick.

What is she?

Is she one of your students?

Oh...

That's as good as a yes.

Goddamn you!

- Alright, pull over, let me out of here.

- No no.

- I'm gone!

- No please! Just...

Just come home and we'll talk...

No, I'm done, I'm done. It's not gonna do any goo

Stop it!

Take it to 112...

Shut up!

Shut the f*** up!

- Take her to 112 West 98th Street.

- Yes sir.

You just don't understand.

Right here.

Go, go.

I don't understand.

I don't understand.

I don't understand...

We are here.

Number 112.

No, please.

He paid me already.

- Thank you.

- Yes.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Preet.

Preet.

Hey, Uncle D.

I got another job,

Big renovation this time at least four weeks.

Where did you get that?

This one?

I've paid for it..?

Preet, you must save your money.

Uncle D, I must have my music.

Turn that aroundl,

if you can't wear it properly, put on the Dastan.

Uncle D, I think it's a little past your bedtime.

Tasha?

- Hey!

- Hi Mom.

- Hi.

- Hi.

They don't use any chemical sprays or fertilizers.

I just love being out on the tractor.

- Tractor?

- A big red tractor.

I love the air and smells and...

And the dirt.

Growing up in the city,

I always thought of dirt as grime,you know?.

But this is like alive,

It's nourishing, it's rich, I just wanna...

I want to eat it.

Nostalgia de la boue .

I want to skip my first semester...

So I can save for the harvest.

Did you ask your father?

He said to ask you.

No one stands to reason.

I'm the one paying your tuition.

- True.

- You know, do what you want.

Vermont suits you.

You look dangerously...

Dangerously healthy.

Why don't you come stay with me?.

They can put you up on the farm...

You can write there.

The train is on the other side of the state.

- So?

- And I, of course can't drive.

- Why not?

- Why can't you drive?

- I don't understand.

- Let's not start that again.

It is so easy.

Let's not get into that right now.

And even if I could, it's too far and...

It's out in the middle of nowhere,

There's no internet.

But, don't you want to get away?

There's so many memories in this house...

Tasha...

When I think of you and dad not together...

It makes me so upset.

I'm fine.

And you're here all alone...

In this house.

Please don't be upset.

I thought you'd be upset.

We've weathered this before.

Every seven years, it comes over him.

He gets restless and does something juvenile.

So at 21 years

We're on our third itch.

Or it's male menopause.

Instead of buying motorcycle,

Daddy decided to give adultery spin.

Tell you what..?

When he comes home,

We'll drive up to visit.

You'll drive up to visit.

Dad is not coming home.

Go look upstairs,

He didn't take any of his books.

What does that tell you?

Go look.

He said he filed for separation yesterday.

And he uses you to deliver that message?

I hope she knows she'll have to pay for his keep...

Because he is a loser.

In 20 years he couldn't get tenure.

How anyone...besides me,

Could consider him romantic material is...

It's stupefying.

So you are upset.

No, I'm not.

I'm disgusted.

You're gonna stay for dinner?

- Well, I...

- Yeah?

I...

I actually,

I told Dad that I would eat with him.

So this is just a visit?

- Stopping by to see if Mom is a basket case?

- No.

And then run that message back to him.

Thanks. You can go now.

- Mom... that's...

- No, no....I mean it....

I have work to do.

I just got here.

Please don't walk away.

Please.

What?

You left this in my cab.

Okay.

Oh, just a minute , just...

I think...

Oh!

What painful.

Let me get you some real money.

I don't want anything, I like to help.

You like to help?

That is impossible.

You can't be from New York.

Yes, I am.

From Queens.

That's not really New York, but...

You're very kind and I thank you.

Are you sure I can't give you something?

Do you have a card?

Hi, this is Tasha.

Please leave me a message and I'll call you back.

Tash, it's me.

I'm sorry about what I said.

And you're right, I need a change of scenery.

So guess what?

I'm gonna get my license, buy a new car...

And drive up and see you.

So we can eat some dirt together.

Love you.

Alright, we all ready?

15 seconds.

I heard about you and Ted.

I'm really sorry.

Heard what exactly?

- That you and he...

- No, no, no.

We're just taking a breather,

For God's sake.

And joining me today's topic are critics necessary...

Are three of out most influential critics:

- Film reviewer J. Howard Mintz.

- Hello.

Paige Belknap, who covers art...

And, of course, book critic Wendy Shields.

Let's start with you, Wendy.

- It's good to have you back.

- Always a pleasure.

Wendy, no child dreams of being a literary critic.

What drew you to it?

No child?

I...I wanted anything to do with words.

I...I grew up in a household that was far from peaceful...

And books just floated me away...

I...It's part of my job to review bad books too..

But good ones still carry me off.

What are the current authors you enjoy reviewing?

Many. But...

Martin Amis,

Toni Morrison,

Delia Krauss.

I especially loved her short stories.

You know, the magazine has published most of them.

What?

Nobody likes Delia Krauss?

Well I do.

Delia Krauss. Whore.

- We thought you knew.

- No.

I thought it was one of Ted's students.

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