Leave to Remain Page #2

- No, no, no, no, stop. I didn't ask...

- This is not a family photo!

- Right, cheese! - Wait, wait, wait!

- Oh, Rafi, what are you doing?

- Again. - Abdul!

Hey, introduce yourselves, idiots.

Give me the phone!

LAUGHTER:

- What did he say?

- The beautiful girl is Chloe.

Ooooh!

- What the hell is this?

- Diwali!

It represents the triumph

of good over evil.

Papers, please.

- Papers, please, young man.

- Sorry?

Papers, please. Thank you very much.

- Can I see your papers, please?

- I haven't done anything, Officer.

I know. Can I have your name?

Can I have your name, please?

- My name is Rafi.

- Your full name and your address?

THEY ARGUE:

- I'm talking to your friend, all right?

- I haven't done anything!

The sooner you let him do his job, the

sooner you can all be on your way.

Have you got anything

that you shouldn't have?

- No, I don't have anything.

- Nothing at all?

Stand aside, please, sir.

Stand aside, please.

Can you just stand aside, please?

- We're talking to him.

- Rafi, go!

Go, Rafi, go!

- Go, Rafi, run! Go, Rafi!

- Go, Rafi!

- F***!

- F***ing hell, man! Sh*t!

F***, man!

- What the f*** is wrong with you, man? F***ing d*ckheads!

- F*** you!

Where are you taking him, eh?

Rafi, man, we'll get you out, don't worry.

I'll call your caseworker.

BELL RINGS:

I'm next.

Then you...

then you.

You a Fed?

F***...

Omar, where you get this laptop from, bro?

So sh*t, man.

I can't even remember what the

f*** I said in my statement.

It was like two years ago, bro.

Look, just tell them a good

story, that's all I'm saying.

- It's all about what you say and...

- Who you say it to. - Yes, bro.

- We need to find somewhere more dangerous than Nuristan.

- Peckham!

Look, bro, they can't send you back.

You've got options. Check it out.

Look, Gereshk Valley, Helmand Province.

Danger there, man.

All kinds of sh*t going off. Death Valley!

But you need to nail it, every detail.

You can't appeal based on a

well-founded fear of persecution

cos your father was involved

in a dispute over land.

But the fact that the Home Office have

taken so long to review your case

means we should apply under Article

8 of the Human Rights Act -

the right to respect of

private and family life.

OK.

You've been here a long

time - established a life.

Let's review your case. Which

province are you from again?

I say I was from Nuristan, but

actually I'm from Gereshk Valley.

Well, that makes sense. It helps.

It's on the list of no-go areas.

Why did you say you were from

Nuristan in your screening interview?

Maybe the people who got you in

told you it was better to say that.

You were 15...traumatised.

- Maybe.

- Definitely.

I was 15 and I was traumatised.

You'll need a suit.

Omar, bro! It's jihad time, man!

Life in the UK - question number one.

First to Alpha.

When was the Queen born?

- She was born April 21st, 1926.

- Mm-hm.

She also has a birthday in June.

- Only the Queen of England has two birthdays.

- No! - Are you mad? Look!

- What? - Look at this.

- Home Office birthdays, bro. What is this?

- Booyah!

- Oh-h, that's right. We also have two birthdays.

That means we are like royalty!

- Omar, same question.

- Hey, King Omar, eh?

Sorry, Your Royal f***ing Highness.

How old is HRH Queen Elizabeth whatever?

I would never comment on a lady's age.

White girls, mmm!

LAUGHTER:

War, huh, ooh-yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing!

- Boys, boys, get your stuff.

- Girls, get your stuff in the coach. - Listen!

- Just get here... just get here. The bags are on the bus.

- Queue up. Keep a watch of the bags here.

I'm not hassling you, I'm telling you that

the coach is here. You need to get here.

You're late, you can get to the back.

No, no, no, no, mostly everyone's here.

Nigel! Nigel, can you get off the

phone and sort this ticket, please?

Boys, come on!

- Boys, come on, please.

- All right?

Yeah, everything's fine.

- Come on, boys.

- Come on, come on!

THEY SING IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE

Where we come from, everyone

in uniform is an enemy.

Yes.

Yes, of course, thank you.

THEY CHEER AND SING

THEY CONTINUE TO SING

Abdul, come here.

THEY LAUGH:

A reservoir. That is not a natural

lake, that is a reservoir, man-made.

It is a man-made lake. It is

not actually a natural lake.

- What do you mean?

- Man-made.

Dug a big hole, put the water in,

because that water goes to

England, comes out of the tap.

It's true. Have a look.

AMINA CHATS:

Take a seat.

Are you OK?

What are you thinking about?

Hmm? What are you thinking about?

THUNDER RUMBLES:

Oh, my God! Let me see your hands.

You have got a really

long lifeline, you know.

Let's see.

Do you want me to read your palm?

OK.

So you are going to travel the world, yes.

You're going to go to Egypt

and you're going to meet a nice

man called Havi, who's Chinese.

THEY GIGGLE:

And then you are going to

move into his castle, yeah?

Oh, no!

Havi is going to fall off a

cliff, he is going to die.

But it's all right. Because you are going to

get all his money and you're going to be rich,

like really, really, really rich.

Hurry up.

Right.

Sorry, can you just...?

Right. Let's see.

Ugh, what is that mole from?

- Oh, my days! - What?

- Oh, my God, look at that!

- Right. - Close your hand.

- Will I have a big house?

No, you are going to have loads of babies.

What?

What's the matter?

I have had three.

I can't have any more.

I need speak.

Do you need your caseworker?

I will go and fetch her.

I need speak you, Mr Nigel.

I need speak about me.

Need help, Uncle?

No, I think we will manage.

To translate.

That's kind of you to offer, Omar.

Thank you.

Can you hold the door? That's it.

Right. Over there, over there. Over there.

THEY WHOOP:

- All right, Chloe.

- Yeah.

THEY CALL OUT IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE

Boys, save your energy! Boys!

- Take in where you are.

- It's amazing.

That is where we are climbing

up to, the top over there.

Abdul!

No, no, no!

Come back down, you have plenty

of time to climb. Stay with us.

AEROPLANE ROARS OVERHEAD

Most people are never prepared

for the mountain climb.

Last year,

there were over 200 accidents

that happened on these mountains.

They failed to take steps to master

the basics of good navigation.

That is why I have my compass,

so I will never get lost.

- The mist's coming down, that's all. Just a bit of mist.

- Yeah, yeah.

- We're not going to be safe up there.

- We will be safe, we will be safe.

SPEAKING IN DISTANCE

Just do this. Do this with your feet.

Run up and down.

OK. How are you feeling?

- Your hands warm? - Yes.

- Ears warm? - Can we go back now?

Well, it is getting a bit...

THUNDER RUMBLES:

- Do you think we could go to the next ridge, yeah?

- No.

Nigel! We are going to go back!

OK!

OK.

Ready? Am I in shot?

- Yeah.

- Yeah? Come on, let me see. Wait.

THUNDER RUMBLES:

- Omar? Where are you? I can't see.

- I think we should head back now.

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