Ledina Page #2

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Luckily mine died young.

May I have it?

- What?

- The football.

You can have a whipping.

It's a soccer ball.

- Why do you play with kids?

- Don't know.

- He's a bit retarded.

- This is not a playground.

- What's your name?

- Ostoja.

Don't pull my f***ing leg!

That's his name.

- Who are your parents?

- I'm a refugee from Mostar.

- I'm living with my aunt.

- It's no playground.

Find a ball field.

This is a village green. Get it?

Next time, it's my ball.

It's the rules.

Thanks, Uncle Ostoja.

Keep pedaling. Good.

- Hold me, Dad.

- I'm holding you.

Look straight ahead.

Oops, I fell.

- Good afternoon.

- Afternoon.

- A kilo of sardines.

- A kilo?

Take some sausage.

- It's health food.

- Fish is healthier. Any olives?

- Certainly.

- Your boys are at the river.

Rain's coming.

You miss the Adriatic.

- Anything else?

- No, thanks.

You forgot the bread.

No, I have enough.

- In the freezer?

- What?

We freeze bread for shortages.

Defrost it, pop it in the oven,

and it's bakery fresh.

- Even if it's a month old

- No, I don't freeze it.

What do I owe you?

184 dinars.

- Keep the change.

- Thanks.

- Here you are.

- Thank you. Good bye.

Bye, neighbor.

Save 15 loaves for me.

I prefer the off-white.

Mind brewing me a coffee?

I'm a poor widower.

- Want some c*nt as well?

- Lf it's available.

There's a bar where you can get

both c*nt and coffee.

Don't molest my clients.

I wanted to lend my neighbor

a helping hand.

Neighbors should stick together.

See that bare land?

I plan to create a village green

with my bare hands.

I'll plant grass and marigolds.

Even box trees.

Not for my own sake, for us all.

Plant some coffee.

If it grows,

I promise to show you both my tits.

Show me one.

Don't dare get that sweaty again,

you little biker.

You're as heavy as lead.

- Say night to Dad.

- Night.

Night.

- I can ride a bike.

- And scrape your knee.

Easy come, easy go.

Like you say.

- You should have seen me.

- You're too little to be a big shot.

- Ask Dad.

- Will do. Now sleep.

Will you make more pudding?

Sure, now that you can ride a bike.

How are the rehearsals?

Only half were there.

Half were out drinking.

- I'm wasting my time.

- At the National Theatre.

- I'd love to waste time there.

- I hate this suburb and its people.

- He didn't put his toys away.

- I'll do that. - Please do.

Is any pudding left?

Yes, if you deserve it.

Has anything happened?

I've blossomed

since we moved to New Belgrade.

My doctor asks me what I lack

and how I feel when I'm sick.

All I need is a little dick.

How could he do that to her?

- She'll get her way with him.

- A slut!

Look at that.

On a night shift, neighbor?

Some get off.

Others work their balls off.

Just wait until I'm done.

What?

- Number 22.

- What 22?

- Door 22.

- It's there.

We're closed.

You're a big help.

- Pudding.

- Thanks.

When are you going to fix the TV?

Is that a good idea?

Why?

You're more relaxed

since we stopped getting war reports.

I have no news from Croatia.

The phones are out.

We're incommunicado.

- TV is not a very reliable source.

- You don't give a hoot.

Where are you putting that?

- Over here.

- No, we said we'd put it here.

We're safe from war here.

If only I hit it off with your mother!

You don't.

- Here we have all we need to live...

- Here?

Ostoja keeps grilling me.

Put your things where they belong.

Okay, let me do it.

He's only trying to help.

He asks if I eat sausage

or like rivers.

Those old hags keep whispering.

- I haven't noticed.

It's not my way.

- Want to change them?

- No!

But I don't want them

to change me either.

I'm sorry for Petar.

- Good evening.

- Are you Ms. Zorica by any chance?

She lives across the hall.

- Can I help?

- I'm her new boarder.

Welcome, neighbor.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

Shame on you.

Who could that be at this hour?

Could be some drug addict.

He could slaughter her

right at her doorstep.

Come in.

This is my new boarder, Nikola.

Evening.

My neighbors Elsa and Dara.

Cocksuckers.

Please ignore her, Sonny.

She's not in her right mind.

Let me show you the room.

- Night, ladies.

- Night.

Here's your clothes closet.

With five coat hangers.

You can put underpants here.

Towels up here, shirts down here.

Or vice versa, if you like.

I can bring you another chair.

No need for that.

I'm a nice landlady.

Bathe every day.

Electricity's no object.

It doesn't affect the rent.

I won't cause any problems.

- There's only one condition.

- What's that?

Don't dare bring sluts in.

Mother and I are alone.

We don't want any scenes here.

What would the neighbors say?

I won't cause you any trouble.

Where's your luggage?

This is all I own.

Fine. You have what you need.

As long as you're tidy...

- Do you smoke?

- No.

Good boy.

The mere sight of a cigarette

makes me puke.

I mean vomit.

Smoking is the utter pits.

It makes the curtains stink.

Did I forget anything?

I need some sleep.

- Want me to wake you tomorrow?

- No need to.

Fine.

Cocksuckers!

Why can't you keep

your filthy mouth shut?

- One day I'll slit your throat.

- He's kind of ugly.

Maybe he has AIDS.

- Hey, didn't we make a deal?

- We did.

So you betrayed me.

I just wanted to finish off

my animated comics.

- Are we allowed to lie?

- No.

I'm sorry.

Now go to sleep.

- Night, Dad.

- Night.

Zora?

- Zorica?

- Hush, I'm watching a film.

What did I get on my math test?

You got an A. Be quiet now.

He doesn't love her.

He's handsome, but an a**hole.

Like every handsome guy.

He left you, you poor thing.

My panties hurt.

If you take them off

my fist will hurt.

Dara, let's go. The film is over.

Sorry, ladies,

but she's driving me mad.

What happened?

Just a little cut.

- It's nothing, really.

- Let's see.

I wanted to apologize

for my boarder.

He told me he rang your bell first.

At this hour!

- Don't worry about it.

- Your name is not on the door.

That confused him.

And what's this?

A treble clef. We're all musicians.

It's a little gag.

Looks like a chicken.

- Yes...

- Sorry again.

He has no upbringing.

What a f***ing bastard!

- Morning, I'm an early bird.

- Morning.

Can I help you?

I want to turn some bare land

into a green.

You can't get enough green.

I'll do all the hard work.

Neighbor Paja will donate water.

And your contribution would be

a piece of cord.

- Cord?

- Yes.

Let me have a look around.

It's not urgent.

Good morning, neighbor Ksenija.

You'll have it some time today.

May I ask your view

of my whole idea?

Which one?

Oh, that. It's fantastic.

You know the saying:

It applies to food,

nice people and lawns.

- The more the merrier.

- Thanks, neighbor.

Sorry to bother you.

- He'll go from door to door.

- Let me do that.

Have you forgotten

about our little deal?

- Which?

- The cord.

It slipped my mind.

I'll send Petar in a minute.

We'll fence it in. No trespassing.

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