Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde

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Look, her first high-end retail

shopping experience.

Her nanny tried

to take her to Baby Gap...

but she'd just cry and cry.

She was a professional shopper

at age three.

Oh, wow!

Remember when she was on

the cover of "Seventeen"?

She had so much potential

back then.

Look at her. She could have been

a Playmate by now.

Hello! She's a lawyer.

- That's way better.

- Why?

There she is!

You always said she has

the perfect shaped head...

for a tiara!

Look at that slime dog!

It was so nice of you to make

this for Elle's wedding shower.

I can't scrapbook worth a damn.

I took a class on it

at community college.

- She got a "B."

- Plus!

The day she passed her LSAT!

I swallowed

some of that Silly String.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Look at that.

Her first day at Harvard.

Unbelievable. Awesome.

The Bend and Snap!

I love that.

I did it last night naked.

- You did not.

- Yes. I busted a window.

Oh, my God, there's

Bruiser's first highlights.

Is this the key to

her first office at the firm?

Remember that Caribbean decor?

It was genius.

Look, there she is

with Congresswoman Rudd...

when they started the Harvard

alumni women's event.

- Yeah.

- That's two kick-ass women.

I like them. I really like them.

The first day they met!

Emmett loves her already.

You can see it in his eyes.

Emmett and Elle.

They're truly Romeo and Juliet

without the dying.

Paulette?

Oh, my God!

Girls, I think it's her.

- Quick! Lights out!

- OK!

Paulette?

I thought we were supposed

to be at the movies by 9:00.

Surprise!

We got her!

Oh, my God! Margot, Serena,

I cannot believe...

you guys flew

all the way here!

- No biggie.

- On the contrary.

It's a huge biggie.

Thank you.

You guys are the best.

Speaking of biggies,

can we see your ring again?

Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle.

You mean, this one?

Clarity between F.L. And V.V.S.

Nice girdle diameter.

Cut impeccable.

It's a keeper.

Thanks!

Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett!

That's me and Emmett

on Fenway baseball field.

It's his favorite place

in the whole world.

I love snow globes.

I can hear the ocean.

Listen, honey,

you're a full-time bride now...

so you'll need

a whole new wardrobe.

I'm not quitting my job,

you guys.

Do you guys remember

that feeling we used to get...

during a really intense

Spinning class?

That we feel so truly amazing

about ourselves?

That's how I feel

being a lawyer. I love it.

I have this huge

annual review coming up...

so keep 'em crossed, girls.

Crossed!

Congratulations, you did it.

With three wrong answers,

you've managed to undermine...

the entire foundation upon which

our legal system's built.

And by the way...

it only took me

two wrong answers.

Sweetie, you customized my ring?

Again?

Emmett, you are never

going to believe my news!

- What?

- Fenway Park!

You, me, two rings, and

one recently ordained umpire...

right on the entry field!

Infield.

What are you talking about?

It turns out the starting

pitcher for the Red Sox...

has an unfortunate

unibrow problem.

He goes to Nadia, my waxer...

so the team pulled some strings

with the site manager...

and we're getting married

at Fenway!

Are you serious?

Are you sure

this is what you want to do?

I can married anywhere

and it wouldn't matter.

That's a lie.

I'm getting married

under the Green Monster!

Yes!

And in just

three months and four days!

Emmett, we have so much

to talk about.

I want everybody

who matters to us to be there.

Oh, my God! I almost forgot!

You want me to what?

You want me to what?

A biological

birth parent search.

For your dog.

For my Chihuahua-American

Bruiser Woods.

I found him abandoned years ago.

Miss, I'm the highest-paid,

most sought after...

private investigator

in the greater Boston area.

That's precisely why

we came to you, Detective.

It is absolutely vital that

we find Bruiser's mother pronto.

His father might be

more difficult. You know dogs.

May I ask why?

Of course.

"Martha Stewart Weddings"...

recommends a 4 to 6-week

window for RSVPs...

and I can't send the invitation

without an address.

And the sooner I get started on

the calligraphy the better.

You want to send an invitation

to your wedding...

to your dog's mother.

And you're serious?

Detective,

if I have to make room...

for my second cousin's

vegan diet coach...

you better believe

I'll make room for the mother...

of the one loving creature

who's always been there for me.

In fact, I can't believe

I haven't done this sooner!

I'm thinking the same thing.

- Elle!

- Hi, Mr. Blaine.

- The client is thrilled.

- Good!

How you seamlessly

negotiated that deal?

- It was simply magnifique.

- Thank you.

Big staff meeting today, kiddo.

All right.

I got my fingers crossed.

Milton, two shots, extra foam.

- Wow. Thanks, E.W.

- No problem!

- Go get 'em today.

- Thanks.

Soy for you, honey. No dairy.

That's right. Thank you.

Your call list is endless.

- It is?

- We better get right on it.

Kevin, you shouldn't have!

I'm not sure they're giving me

the promotion today.

It's just a widespread

yet credible rumor.

It's from me and the girls.

Oh, right!

Now do me.

I feel like the luckiest girl

in the world.

- Me, too!

- You do?

I had no idea

I could be this happy...

without accruing

credit card debt.

Already?

Well, Miss Woods,

even the weird ones get cracked.

- You ready?

- Yes!

Bruiser Woods...

meet your mom.

Bruiser... your cheekbones.

And it's all in there.

Good luck finding whatever

it is you're looking for.

Oh, my God!

She's a Bostonian!

Bruiser, we're here!

As your adoptive mother,

I'm sure you're nervous...

about meeting

your birth mother...

but hear her out, OK?

I'm sure she had her reasons.

Bruiser,

your mother lives at...

the top secret

Versace think-tank!

I told you they had one!

No, ma'am.

Unless you have a pass,

you cannot go up there.

Lucky I always keep it on me.

Hold on. It's right here.

There you go.

What is it?

It's my double platinum

V.V.I.P. Versace...

Preferred Customer

identification card.

Available only to those that've

shopped on five continents.

If that fails to satisfy you,

you can also contact...

Billy Dailey,

head of customer relations.

You got the wrong VERSACE, lady.

Really? Donatella's not here?

Bruiser, where are you going?

Bruiser!

Ma'am!

Bruiser?

Get back here!

Where are you going?

Bruiser, I didn't know

you were so athletic.

What is it?

Oh, my God!

You, come here!

Come on!

Open this door immediately!

What are you doing here?

You have my dog's mom,

and I need her right now!

Absolutely not.

I'm not authorized to release...

any subjects

from their containment units.

I'm not even allowed

to have a key.

Swallow the thing one time,

and all of a sudden...

you're the weird key swallower

who can't be trusted.

I don't think

you're understanding me.

I'm willing to pay for her.

These animals

aren't for sale, ma'am.

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