Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde Page #2

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They're the legal property

of this facility.

What kind of facility is this?

Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry!

Elle, this VERSACE

is a cosmetic testing facility.

- Oh, no!

- Bruiser's mom's a test subject.

I want her out of there

immediately.

Animal test subjects

can only be surrendered...

on a voluntary basis,

and they're not volunteering.

After I get through with them,

they'll be begging.

And I'm not just taking

Bruiser's mom.

I'll bust all those dogs

out of that doggie dungeon.

"Research Science

and Critter Exploitation"?

This VERSACE's owned by the

C'est Magnifique Corporation!

That's fantastic!

Our law firm

represents C'est Magnifique.

We can tell them to fix this.

I can't wait to take this

to the partners.

But how are you

going to convince them?

Presenting...

Abandoned at birth, I was

on my own at an early age...

fighting for survival on

the streets of Beverly Hills...

making his way down

the boulevard of broken dreams,

turning tricks

at Hollywood and Vine...

yet even when

I found a loving mother...

I couldn't shake this

nagging emptiness in my heart.

It was like a void.

When I looked in the mirror...

who was it

that was looking back at me?

This is Bruiser's question.

And in a way,

aren't we all Bruisers?

I think yes. Thank you.

Ms. Woods,

this is a law firm...

not an animal rights

advocacy group.

We're lawyers.

We have to fight for justice.

And this is definitely unjust.

In this case, the cost of beauty

is way too high.

I can't believe I said that,

but it's true.

What we fight for...

is our clients

and their best interests.

But isn't doing the right thing

in everybody's best interest?

I think you're confusing

the right thing and the law.

You didn't think

they were the same, did you?

Why don't

we get back to business...

and discuss

your very bright future?

Pardon me,

I don't mean to interrupt...

but I just--

What you're saying is...

if C'est Magnifique

follows the letter of the law...

even if it ends up

hurting living beings...

we're just doing our job?

I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine...

I don't think I can work

with people who believe that.

You know what? You're right.

Thank you, Mr. Blaine.

You shouldn't have to work

with people who believe that.

Absolutely.

I knew you would understand.

You're fired, Elle.

What?

We only have room

for serious lawyers here.

Take the rest of the day

to clear out your things.

But the secretarial pool

already gave me a balloon.

Keep the balloon, if you wish.

Please, Emmett, just go away.

Why don't you come on out,

sweetie?

I know Bruiser

doesn't blame you.

But I'm all he has to speak

for him in this world...

and I have

completely failed him.

You know what I thought

the first time I saw you?

"God, that woman

wears a lot of pink"?

No. I thought...

"That woman is really special."

"She believes she can make

a difference and she will."

So... come on out

and let's talk about it.

No.

We could go over

some wedding details.

How about that? It revolves.

And it illuminates.

It's even

got the Red Sox colors.

That's fantastic, honey!

Speaking of red socks...

you're not getting

cold feet, are you?

About what?

How's it going to look?

A Harvard law professor...

married to a lawyer who

got fired from her first job.

Fired for something

she believes in.

It's going to look like...

"There goes the luckiest guy

in the whole world."

Thanks.

Holy crap!

It's gorgeous!

The material

keeps falling apart.

No!

Amy, is something wrong?

You can't do a scallop trim

on the outer hoop skirt.

The material's too delicate.

It'll just fall apart.

But in two out of three

home tests it held.

I am so sorry, Elle.

No biggie.

I guess I don't need...

a scallop trim

on the outer hoop skirt.

I'll be fine.

What is it that you said

back when I couldn't...

fit into my white spandex

pantsuit for my wedding?

If the fabric

doesn't work with you...

don't work with it.

It's one of

my favorite mantras.

That is so true, and I know

the most perfect organza!

Or something

really classy like...

like white leather!

I'll call the guy

that did my car seats.

Wait... that's it.

Don't fight the fabric.

Change it.

OK, but white leather?

If the law is what's keeping

Bruiser's mother locked up...

I shouldn't be fighting it,

I should be changing it.

Everybody, I'm going to make...

animal testing

for cosmetics illegal!

I know that making a dog wear

mascara and blush is wrong...

This isn't just about

Bruiser's mom anymore...

this is about the fact

that every day...

that I put on my Gold Goddess

luminescent blush...

some poor little innocent animal

might be suffering for it.

You don't realize

how horrible something is...

until it happens to you

personally.

Like breastfeeding.

And if I want to give

a voice to Bruiser...

I have to go to the place

that gave a voice to the people!

Oh, my God! The headquarters

of "Cosmopolitan" magazine!

Better! Ladies...

I'm going to Washington!

D.C., here I come!

If anybody can handle this,

it's you, honey.

I got a call from the Delta Nu

Your apartment's all set.

- Great!

- Elle!

Oh, my God! You look like

the Fourth of July!

Makes me want a hot dog

real bad.

Yeah, OK.

You got to get going, honey.

OK.

- Elle, look at this.

- What's that?

According to

"Animal Fair" magazine...

your new boss is the best

groomed woman in Washington.

Her beagle's name

is Dolly Madison...

which is my grandma's

stripper name.

Isn't that a good sign?

Oh, my gosh. A job with

a brilliant congresswoman...

who's also

a fellow Harvard alum.

You'll do great, Elle.

It's destiny.

But isn't planning

the wedding of the century...

and changing the law

kind of hard?

Paulette, I taught Bruiser

how to shop online.

I think I can handle Congress.

See ya.

Home sweet home. You ready?

OK.

Welcome to

the Wellington, ma'am.

It's a thrill to be here!

Time to legislate!

No.

Too Nancy.

Too Hillary.

Too Monica.

Too perfect for words!

Hi!

Good morning,

fellow public servants.

It's my first day.

Nice briefcase.

Huh? Thank you.

Hi!

Last item on

our agenda--Elle Woods.

Personal Rudd hire,

taking up a bill...

on animal testing

in the cosmetic industry.

I'm sorry,

Rudd's backing that?

Matter of conscience,

whatever.

Who knows? Maybe it'll boost

our female demographic.

The point is

we're animal lovers now.

If this is so important to Rudd,

shouldn't I be handling it?

No, Timothy,

not when we have a woman...

who according to Rudd,

is one of the shrewdest...

legal and political minds

of our time.

Hello, patriots!

I don't think

I've been this excited...

since Gucci became

a publicly traded company.

Oh, my God,

it's Capitol Barbie.

She's so shiny.

So where should I start?

Excuse me, sweetie?

Intern orientation

is down the hall in Room 216.

That's before 217 and after 215.

Oh, my God!

That is so sweet of you!

You think I'm an intern?

That anti-wrinkle

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