Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde Page #3

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all-salmon diet really works.

Who are you?

- I'm sorry--

- Elle Woods, welcome!

I haven't seen you

since the alumni meeting!

- I know! How are you?

- Good!

This is Elle Woods, everyone.

Basically me

when I first came to D. C...

so make her feel at home.

You ready to hit

the ground running?

Are these not

my comfortable heels?

- Cute shoes.

- Thank you. They are comfy.

Here's Bruiser. Welcome.

Oh, you little sugar!

Back her up, people.

This is the most collaborative

bunch on the Hill...

So gather them together...

talk strategy as soon as

you get settled in.

- And, Elle?

- Yes?

- Welcome to Washington.

- Thank you!

Okey-dokey.

I missed the part about

where my office is.

The desk. Right here.

All righty. Then I'm going

to need a glue gun...

some pinking shears, and

five yards of grosgrain ribbon.

Yeah, that'll do it.

Well, look at you.

You can run your wedding

coordinator business...

during all that

legislative downtime.

Don't be silly, Grace.

This is to plan

my own wedding to Emmett.

See, this is us.

He had this made for me.

That's him,

and that's me smiling.

Maybe he'll make one

of you and me.

You'll be talking

and I'll be throwing up.

Speaking of nuptials,

wait till I tell...

the congresswoman

that I was invited...

to John McCain's

nephew's wedding.

He's really quite a sweet kid.

Tell me something, Timothy...

is it difficult for you

to breathe with...

your mouth flat

against your employer's butt?

I don't know, Grace.

Is it difficult to see...

with your head in

the Minority Whip's lap?

It was the distinguished

gentlemen from Iowa.

His wife had recently left him

and we just talked.

Right. Because if

you did "visit" his district...

you should've gotten

some legislation out of it.

How would you even know...

when you're busy chasing

interns on a skateboard?

Excuse me? Who wants

to talk animal testing?

Write a bill, Britney.

I don't have a car!

Snap Cup time

Gather ye round

Friends and foes together

United and bound

Pass it to your neighbor

Instead of blowing up

And we'll find

harmony and love

In the Snap Cup!

Don't tell me you don't know

what a Snap Cup is?

OK, I'll explain it.

You are going to write down

an anonymous praise note...

on a little warm fuzzy.

Warm fuzzy?

Yes. Compliments

about your co-workers.

Just something nice.

Then you deposit them

in the sacred vessel.

The Snap Cup is essential to

any bipartisan environment.

Consider 1998 Spring Carnival.

The Delta Nus partnered

with the Kappa Kappa Gammas...

on Project Kissing Booth.

Big problems.

Go ahead, write.

So, a whole heated

debate transpired...

over the whole

tongue-no tongue policy.

I think you know what side

the Kappas were on.

Anyway, it really helped us

move past the conflict...

and I think

it can help us today.

Let's just try this, OK?

Thank you, Reena. Thank you.

Thanks for that.

Thank you, Timothy.

So now, the Snap Cup

mistress--me--recites.

Good, I got mine.

"Grace always has the confidence

to speak her mind.

"Plus, she looks terrific

in charcoal."

And, voil, snaps for Grace!

You see? Our first Snap Cup!

This is so exciting!

I wonder what'll happen next?

All right, this is...

"What do Elle Woods and

the Snap Cup have in common?"

A riddle. That's so cool.

I love riddles.

"They're both..."

"stupid."

Enough already.

Maybe we can do something

actually worthwhile...

like attend the hearing

of the committee...

you need to crack.

I'll take you myself.

Thank you, Grace.

That's very generous of you.

See, I think

the Snap Cup really works.

Wow.

Good morning.

This is just like on C-SPAN

except I'm not bored.

You're in the wrong room,

sweetheart.

Intern orientation

is in room...

Thank you.

Hi, I'm Elle Woods.

I'm not an intern.

Rob Cole. Me, neither.

I'm the new legislative aide

to Congresswoman Rudd.

I'm an old congressman

from Delaware.

I've been to Delaware!

No sales tax. Good one, sir.

Committee is called to order.

Welcome to

the special meeting of the...

Excuse me. Sorry.

Committee

of Energy and Commerce.

Before we turn

to our official agenda...

are there

any introductory remarks?

Madam chairwoman...

Grace Rossiter,

chief of staff...

Representative Rudd,

Massachusetts.

As our newest

legislative assistant...

will be spearheading a campaign

under your committee...

I'm sure she'd love the floor.

Thus I yield to my colleague,

the lady in hot pink.

You have the floor,

lady in hot pink.

Me?

Would you care to more

specifically identify yourself?

Oh, sure!

My name is Elle Woods,

Boston by way of Bel Air.

And as my surname

would suggest...

I am a passionate advocate

for everything in nature...

and a contented citizen...

until my shorthaired

Chihuahua, Bruiser...

brought me face-to-face with

the animal testing issue.

You're out of order,

Miss Woods.

This is

a fuel efficiency hearing.

I don't see anything in

the agenda about animal testing.

Will you yield the floor?

Absolutely. I'm almost done.

So, in conclusion,

I just want to say...

that I am so excited

about the day...

that I get to march up

those grand Capitol steps...

and drop

that very bill in the...

What's it called?

It's like a shiny,

mahogany box thing?

The hopper.

Exactly! The hopper!

How could I forget?

It's like a bunny.

Perfect for animal testing.

And I want

to let everybody know...

that I'm having

a post-hopper tapas party.

I'm making sangria.

It's really yummy.

My, my, how very interesting

that all sounds.

It'll be fun.

However, the next time

you consider...

attending a hearing

over which I preside... don't!

Committee is called to order.

OK.

Welcome to the special meeting

of the Committee...

of Energy and Commerce.

For the record...

would the secretary

please make note that...

Welcome to the Wellington,

ma'am.

Seventeen-B?

You have a package.

Inside that box are the most

perfect wedding shoes ever.

Both visually stunning

and cleated.

And I won't be able

to wear them...

since I obviously

won't make the date...

for Emmett's fantasy

baseball wedding...

given that I don't have

a chance of getting...

those important congresspeople

to co-sponsor my bill...

which I need to get a hearing

to stop animal testing...

in order to reunite Bruiser

with his mother...

in order to have them

at my wedding...

in which

I was going to wear...

the most perfect

wedding shoes ever...

right inside that box.

They never covered this

in the handbook.

They're something, all right.

You think?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Elle Woods,

legislative aide...

to Congresswoman Rudd,

Massachusetts.

Sid Post. Doorman.

That door.

All day I've felt like white,

open-toed shoes after Labor Day.

I hate that feeling.

Whatever that means.

I better get going.

If I'm going to pass a law...

I have to work up

some plan of attack...

with the Committee

of En and Ron or whatever.

Bye, Sid.

- Comm.

- What'd you say?

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