Legally Blonde Page #12

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PAULETTE (CONT'D)

(continuing; re the dog)

I didn't even get to go to his birthday

party.

ELLE:

No!

(CONTINUED)

39.

44 ( 2 ) 44

PAUL ETTE:

What could I do?

(shrugging)

He's a man who followed his pecker to

greener pastures. I ' m a middle-aged high-

school dropout with stretch marks and a

fat ass. Happens every day. At least to

women like me.

ELLE . ·

That's terrible!

PAULETTE:

So, what's this Sarah got that you don't?

Three tits? -

ELLE:

She's from Connecticut. She belongs to

his stupid country club.

PAULETTE:

Is she as pretty as you?

Elle looks down.

ELLE:

(embarrassed)

I ' m not pretty -- I ' m genetically

blessed.

Paulette rolls her eyes, shaking her bottle of polish and

starting on Elle's right hand.

PA UL ETT E:

Is sJie.? "

ELL E:

She could use some mascara and some

serious highlights, but she's not

completely unfortunate- looking.

UPS GUY (O.S.)

Hello, ladies.

Paulette looks up to see the UPS GUY, a strapping hunk of a

man in his late 30' s . She blushes and smooths down her hair,

knocking over a bottle of nail polish in the process. Trying

to play it off as she signs for the package.

(CONTINUED)

40.

44 ( 3 ) 44

UPS GUY (CONT'D) .

See ya later.

He goes. Paulette watches him. Elle notices.

PAULETTE:

(hating herself) .

Could I be anymore goddamn spastic?

(beat)

So you're sure, this Warner guy is "the

one"?

ELLE:

Definitely! I love him!

Paulette looks at her.

PAULETTE:

If a girl like you can't hold on to her

man -- then there sure as hell isn't any

hope for the rest of us. What're you

waiting for? Steal the bastard back.

45 INT. DORMITORY - WARNER'S ROOM - DAY 45

Elle knocks on Warner's door, bottle of wine and two glasses

in hand.

ELLE:

Warner?

When she gets no answer, she write a message on his memo

board -- CLOSE ON-- "Call me! Love, You Know Who".

She leaves the wine bottle and two glasses and goes.

46 EXT. HARVARD LAW CAMPUS - DAY 46

Elle is in her push-up bikini, reclining in her beach chair,

pink frozen margarita in one hand, Underdog in the other, law

book in her lap, pretending to study.

We PULL BACK to reveal that she's sitting on the sidelines of

a touch-football game that Warner is playing with a group of

other 1-L's.

Warner scores easily because the other male eyes are all on

Elle. He shakes his head and smiles.

41.

47 INT. CRIMINAL LAW CLASS - DAY 47

Elle sits, glaring at Sarah, who keeps waving her "The Rock"

in Elle's direction, as she plays footsie with Warner.

PROFESSOR DONOVAN -- 40s, a big fan of himself, salt and

pepper hair, no time for bullshit -- stands before the class.

PROFESSOR DONOVAN

I should warn you that in addition to

competing against each other for the top

grade in this class, you'll also be

competing for one of my firm's highly

coveted four internship spots next year

where you will get to assist on actual

cases. Let the bloodbath begin. Now,

let's commence with our usual torture --

He looks around.

PROFESSOR DONOVAN (CONT'D)

(continuing)

Ms . Woods --

Sarah and her bitchy, clone-like friend CLAIRE exchange

knowing glances.

SARAH:

This should be amusing.

· PROFESSOR DONOVAN

Would you rather have a client who

committed a crime malum in se or malum

prohibitum?

ELLE:

Neither.

PROFESSOR DONOVAN

Why not?

ELLE:

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