Legally Blonde Page #21

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89 89

When the butt stops moving, we WIDEN to reveal the UPS Guy

now standing in front of Elle and Paulette.

UPS GUY:

I've got a package.

Elle turns to Paulette, eyes wide.

ELLE:

(agreeing)

He's got a package. ·

Paulette is frozen. Blushing and nervous.

UPS GUY:

How ya doin' today? .

PAULETTE . ·

Fine?

He waits for her to sign. She remains frozen. Elle takes

the pen and signs for her, trying to help. .

UPS Guy smiles kindly at Paulette and heads out.

UPS GUY .

·

Take it easy.

Paulette watches him go, hand over her heart. Elle looks at

her, concerned. ,

ELLE:

So, this is the only interaction you two

have ever had?

PAULETTE:

No. Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of

"Fine".

ELLE:

Have you ever considered asking him if

he'd like a cold beverage? Or perhaps a

neck massage?

·'. ' · · .''

PAULETTE:

What's the point?

(matter of factly)

Look at me.

ELLE:

I am. And I'm looking at a beautiful,

fabulous, sexy woman.

(CONTINUED)

· . 6 9.

89 (2) 89

Paulette snorts.

PAULETTE:

Good one.

ELLE:

Trust'me. You've got the equipment, you

just need to read the manual.

Elle stands. ,

ELLE (CONT'D)

I ' m going to.show you a little maneuver

my mother taught me when I was in junior

high. In my experience, it has a 98%

success rate in getting a man's attention

an d when used appropriately--an 83%

rate of return on a dinner invitation.

The HAIRSTYLISTS and CLIENTS listen, intrigued. .

ELLE (CONT'D)

(continuing)

It's called the "Bend & Snap".

(acting)

"Oh, look! There's something on the

floor that I need to pick up!" Bend...

She slowly BENDS down, as if to pick up something, sticking

out her tush, knee cocked. She slids her hand down her

cocked leg until her hand touches the floor and she SNAPS

back up, b*obs a'bouncing.

ELLE (CONT'D)

(continuing)

And snap! Now you try.

Paulette stands up repeating the maneuver.

PAULETTE:

Bend...and snap!

I t ' s a spastic version of what Elle just did.

ELLE:

Good. Now this time, put a little arch in

your back and maybe get your footing more

solid.

Paulette does it again. This time, getting it right.

(CONTINUED)

70.

89 ( 3 ) 89

ELLE (CONT'D)

(continuing)

Perfect!

A HAIR CLIENT walks over, head full of curlers.

HAIR CLIENT:

Like this? .

She tries.

ELLE:

Good.

She adjusts her like a yoga instructor would.

ELLE (CONT'D)

But cock that knee.

ANOTHER CLIENT calls over.

ANOTHER CLIENT:

Am I doing it right?

Elle walks over to her.

ELLE:

More snap, less bend.

She turns to the rest of the clients.

ELLE (CONT'D)

C'mon -- everyone try!

Clients hop up out of their chairs as someone reaches over

and cranks the transistor radio, blaring "BRICK HOUSE" by the

Commodores.

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