Less Than Zero Page #3

Things didn't work out

the way I thought.

I thought you

were staying longer.

I was hoping we could

spend some time together.

Well, maybe next time.

Yeah, next time.

I'll call you

before I go.

- Will you?

- Yeah.

Okay, great.

Bye.

I miss you.

Where the hell

is everybody?

Robbie-nobb?

# Who's that girl cryin'? #

#I'll tell you

the reason she's blue #

#She's lost you...#

Julian!

Uncle Bob.

You're early.

This is a matter of great consequence

and potential global expansion.

I'll bet.

How much?

Please drive.

Very good stereo.

# Who's that girl cryin'? ##

Why don't you borrow it

from your father?

Come on. Dad lacks

a certain amount of imagination.

Nightclubs?

This is not

just any nightclub.

This is the infamous

Panic Club.

The ex-owner is now into conceptual

art-- another good money move--

but what he's done thusly

is left behind a gold mine.

I'm talking Panic addicts--

kids who want fake fashion,

loud music every weekend religiously.

I want to provide it for them,

at a reasonable fee, of course.

Of course, but I am not

into investing into clubs.

I know,

but it is a sure thing.

It's low overhead.

There's high volume.

It's the most strictly controlled

all-money business.

It's not just

investing in a club.

You're investing

in a blood relative.

- 15 grand?

- I'm the son you never had.

I got two sons.

I can't afford any more.

But they're not like me.

So don't make me beg.

- Okay, where is the place? Let's look.

- Cool.

- You wanna bum?

- Please.

My office.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Hi, honey.

I brought you a present.

Wait a minute.

I'll be right out.

No, I gotta go.

You sure?

Cindy'll order out.

Sorry, I can't.

Anything I can do for you?

No, I'm fine.

Merry Christmas.

I'll see you Monday.

Merry Christmas.

I left your present

on the table.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Hi, Blair.

You look great.

Thanks.

Listen. If I don't see you,

merry Christmas.

Oh, you, too.

OK.

Cindy.

I didn't expect

to see you here.

Changed my mind.

I'm glad.

#I wanna jump

but I'm afraid I'll fall #

#I wanna holler

but the joint's too small #

# Young man rhythm's

got a hold on me, too #

#I got the rockin' pneumonia

and the boogie-woogie flu ##

Blair! Who's this guy

on your neck?

-Julian!

- Oh, it's okay. He's familiar.

Still, don't you think a little

goddamn consolation is in order?

You guys gonna do vile things

to each other in public?

Hey, don't underappreciate

my efforts, okay?

My tact.

Just don't.

This the plight

of the beautiful people?

We're trying to have

a private conversation.

All I can see is someone who needs

to even out. You want a drink?

I want nothing from you.

Now, that's a surprise,

Julian.

Julian, don't start.

You've done just about

everything this evening.

I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out

of my f***in' business.

You need a drink,

sweetheart.

Don't worry about it,

all right?

- I'm sorry.

- No, it-- no.

I want to go home, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

No, I don't.

Wait a minute.

Wait. Hold on.

Come here.

Oh, God!

Will you stop that,

please?

Ha ha!

Oh, we're here.

Not yet.

Oh!

Put it down.

Hi, Dad.

This is

the Wells residence.

Yes, yes, everything is fine.

Thank you.

Code 13472.

I'm real tired.

I'm going to go to bed.

Not here!

How about here?

We talked about this.

When? I forgot.

Refresh my memory.

You can't stay here.

Live your life

anywhere but here.

Just give me a second.

You're a father, I'm a son.

I'm your son.

I'm sleepy.

- Dad?

- Get out.

I'll call the police.

F*** you.

You can't--

Get out--

Get out of the house!

Leave him alone.

Always a pleasure.

What are you

thinking about?

What I'm going to

say to Julian.

Nobody can say

anything to Julian.

I'm going to school in a week,

and I want you to come with me.

- No.

- I mean it.

- I have a better idea.

- What?

- Let's get married.

- Great.

We'll have a big,

expensive wedding.

We'll invite 2,000

of our closest friends.

We'll have a couple kids

and find a great maid to raise them.

- I'll raise them.

- You will?

Can't we just

stay together?

I'm going to school in a week, and

I'm shoving your ass in the suitcase.

Come to my house for dinner.

My dad'll be there,

and the whole family.

It's Christmas, you know.

Ahem!

The door was open.

What do you want?

I'm lookin' for Julian.

Is he around?

No.

Well, if you see him,

you tell him

to give me a call.

I'm Bill.

You're Blair.

I don't know you.

See you later.

Where would he sleep?

Maybe Zuma--

Markie's party.

Somebody's

looking for you.

Who?

Bill.

You know him?

Bill--Billy.

He's very cool.

He's an old friend.

I don't remember him.

You've been away

for a long time.

I've met a lot of new

and interesting people.

Why? Where'd you two meet?

At the loft with Blair.

# Dum da da dum ##

Want to talk about it?

No.

- Do you want to fight?

- Nope.

Congratulations.

This is the way it's supposed to be.

Turnabout is fair play.

Blair was good to me.

I was lonely,

and I needed somebody.

She was there.

It was nice.

It wasn't exactly

the World Series of love, though.

Oh, this is my club.

Check me out.

I'm going to make a serious comeback.

Great!

Yeah, and I'll sneak in and take Blair

away when you least expect it.

This will go on for years.

What?

Be good to her.

She really deserves it.

Yeah.

I'm going to go.

Always leaving, you.

Well, somebody's got to.

Ha ha!

Watch out for the sharks.

- What about you?

- They know me.

All right.

You need anything?

All right.

Thank you, Elaine,

for having us in your home.

Well, thanks for having me.

Alice, too.

Um...this is a special

time of year.

It's a time for family,

for friends.

It's a time

for forgetting our differences,

and for coming together

so that we might...

well, uh, come together.

Ha ha ha!

It's clearly also a time

for incoherent toasts.

It's an old family

tradition here.

Um, well, merry Christmas,

everybody.

May we all

love each other as we are

and as we hope to be.

Thanks, Elaine.

Clay...

Liz, Jenny...

and Alice.

Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

Oh, been waiting for ages.

Where you been?

- Traffic in this town's a joke.

- Look at these ceilings.

The D.J. will show you around,

let you listen to the sound system.

Look.

This isn't a good time

for bad news.

I can't loan you the money.

Why?

I spoke with your father.

There's no way I can--

I know. I know.

That's cool.

At least you tried.

Here, take a couple of these.

They're like kind of

collector's items.

Limited edition stuff.

This doesn't mean

you're not my favorite nephew.

- Come to our house for Christmas.

- Great.

No, actually, I can't.

I made other plans.

Julian...

I'm sorry.

I really am.

Me, too.

Bye.

Hey, Rip.

#I was walking down the road

the other day #

# When I hear

a little human say #

#He said #

# You no see

me situation #

# You don't have

no accommodation #

#Me have to sign on

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