Libeled Lady Page #11

- Are they sober?

- I think so.

This is love, not liquor.

Join hands, please.

William, do you take Constance

to be your lawful wife...

to have and to hold, in sickness

and in health...

to love, honor, and cherish...

- Did you get Gladys on the phone?

- Sure.

What did you say?

That I was looking for you

with some important information.

- And?

- She fell like a log.

She asked me what information I had,

so I dropped the bomb.

I told her I was driving by the Grand Plaza

and saw Connie and Bill go in.

On investigating, I found they'd been

assigned to suite 805 and 807...

as man and wife.

- What did she say?

- What didn't she say?

You know, I've been thinking...

that was a justice of the peace

they called on.

- Maybe he really did marry her.

- How could he? He's got a wife already.

- I know, but...

- There's Gladys now.

Okay, buddy.

We're off to the races. You wait here.

So?

- Gladys, this is a surprise.

- I'll bet it is.

I'm sorry to break into your little party,

Miss Connie Allenbury...

but this man happens to be my husband.

This is the lady I told you about,

a Miss Gladys Benton.

- "Mrs. William Chandler" is the name.

- Yes. How do you do?

- I said, "Mrs. William Chandler. "

- I've been looking forward to meeting you.

- Bill's told me so much about you.

- He told you about me?

Yes. Won't you sit down?

No, you don't.

You're not getting out of here!

I'm not leaving.

I just don't want Warren to miss anything.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Could you hear all right,

or shall we start over?

Hello, Mr. Haggerty. Do come in.

So nice to see you. Let's all sit down.

Yes, let's.

What are you doing here?

- Naturally, she didn't expect you.

- I didn't know he was out there.

This has nothing to do with you

or your newspaper, so you keep out of it.

As Mrs. William Chandler, I demand...

There must be some mistake.

You see, this is Mrs. Chandler.

- What?

- What?

Yes. And has been for a whole hour.

- Yes, we were just married.

- Have you gone crazy?

If you think you can excuse this

by pulling a marriage gag...

But we are married. Really.

Yes. I always carry

our marriage certificate right with me.

- They're married, all right.

- But that's arson.

You mean it's bigamy!

What a story.

Connie Allenbury marries bigamist.

Print that in the paper, you'll have

another libel suit on your hands.

- I'm not a bigamist.

- You married me, didn't you?

- That one doesn't count.

- What are you talking about?

About a certain Mr. Joseph Simpson,

your lawfully wedded husband.

What are you trying to hand me?

I've been divorced...

You got your divorce in Yucatn, by mail.

Three years ago,

all Yucatn divorces were declared illegal.

I found that out yesterday

in the Hall of Records.

I also consulted my attorney.

Then you and Gladys

were never really married?

- That's right.

- But I made an honest man of him.

Dear, don't forget the letter.

Yes.

This is from Mrs. Chandler, for you.

Warren, she was so touched by your pity...

- for your 500 starving employees...

- You've dropped the suit!

- But I...

- Connie. Miss Allen... Mrs. Chandler.

How can I ever...

I just can't thank you enough.

Connie Allenbury marries author.

What a story! What a scoop!

Mr. Haggerty, you've forgotten something.

- Yes. My hat. Excuse me.

- Your hat and Mrs. Simpson.

Mrs. Simpson? Gladdie, of course.

That "Mrs. Simpson" gets me, Gladdie.

I've got to run along to the office.

You phone me there in the morning.

Just a minute. You want a real scoop?

I'll give you one!

I found out my Yucatn divorce

was no good...

so I got a second divorce

from Joe Simpson in Reno.

- What?

- What?

- Then, we're not...

- I don't believe it.

Then try the Reno Hall of Records.

- But...

- That's quite right.

Now where do we all stand?

Let's all sit down

and talk things over quietly.

You and I will have plenty of time

to talk this over on our world cruise.

I'm sure Miss Allenbury won't mind

turning her ticket over to me now.

Ticket? World cruise?

What are you talking about?

You're getting all excited.

Now come along...

What about this?

- It's nothing, Bill.

- Yes, what about this?

I can explain that thing.

I had to use it as a little gag...

So it's just one of your little gags

to get me here!

I'm here, all right.

Before I'm through,

you'll all be sorry you ever saw me.

You were all terribly smart, weren't you?

You were all building up

to a nice happy ending.

Haggerty wins his case.

Chandler wins his girl.

Where do I stand?

I'll tell you where,

right behind the eight ball.

You thought it was a lot of fun, didn't you,

making me fall for you?

Well, I did fall.

But I'm picking myself up,

William Chandler.

You can't fool me any more with your

hoof, hoof, hoof...

or your insomnia or your publisher.

You're a pretty poor sample of a husband.

But nobody else is gonna get you,

not if it kills both of us.

- Now look, Gladys...

- You're 10 times worse than he is!

At least he had some excuse

for kicking me around.

He was in love with another woman.

But you double-crossed me

for the sake of a newspaper!

Marry the paper and be the proud father

of a lot of headlines!

That's all you're good for anyway.

I suppose this is all very distasteful

to you, Miss Allenbury.

You're not accustomed

to hearing the truth.

You've had money to protect you

from it all your life!

You spent your entire life

buying anything you want.

My husband isn't for sale.

You can't buy him at any price!

- Will you let me go?

- You can't walk out on me like this!

Gladdie!

Wait a minute. Wait.

Let me handle this.

You two diplomats have done enough.

- I'm afraid it's locked.

- Then please give me the key.

- Not yet. I want to talk to you.

- I've talked enough.

Right. Now it's my turn.

- You can't offer me money...

- I wouldn't think of it.

Pleading won't do you any good.

- I'm sure.

- What else is there to talk about?

- You.

- Me?

I've a pretty fair notion

of what you've been through.

- What do you mean by that?

- Any woman can be starved by neglect.

The little attentions

Bill paid you seemed so much greater...

because you weren't getting them

from Haggerty.

The only time he sent me flowers,

he signed it "Bill. "

Exactly. He probably never noticed

the clothes you wore...

never told you how

lovely you looked, the way Bill did.

That's right. How did you know?

Women can't fool women about men.

- You don't want Bill.

- Oh, no?

I know you've got him now,

in name anyway.

But I have his love.

You can't build a life

on hate, or a marriage on spite.

Marriage is too important.

- Mine only lasted an hour, but I know.

- I'm not gonna listen to you!

A fine mess you made of this,

and all because you tried to steal Gladys!

I wouldn't steal Gladys

if she were the last female on earth.

Female? That does it!

You can't stand there and insult Gladdie.

You've had this coming for a long time.

Yes, and I've been looking forward to it!

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