Libeled Lady Page #6

Bill, I'll have that fisherman here

the first thing in the morning.

The first false move, I'll leave.

Unless I'm cuckoo,

I'll be out before midnight.

It'll be all right, darling.

Good night, Bill, good night.

- Good night, darling.

- Good night, old man.

Hello?

Flowers?

On the way up?

Oh, yes. Thanks.

Open the door, will you?

There are some flowers on the way up.

We gotta get these bedclothes out of here.

Hurry up!

I've lost the keys.

Good morning.

Where did you get that key?

The front-door key always fits both doors.

- You mean that key was there all night?

- Naturally.

- For Mrs. Chandler.

- Of course, just wait a minute.

For me, Billikins?

Yes, my little fuzzy-wuzzy.

They're lovely. Thank you, sugar pie.

How did you know white roses

were my favorite flowers?

What?

Haggerty sent those.

Haggerty never sent me flowers before.

No? It's all part of the plan.

I'm gonna get some breakfast.

I thought the plan was to stay here

and look married.

- If you don't mind.

- I don't mind if you don't mind.

I don't mind if you... Who started this?

What do you want for breakfast?

Breakfast. You know, fruit...

Will you have some more coffee, Bill?

No.

This certainly looks married,

a little too married to suit me.

I'm sorry. Here, have a piece.

- Try the funnies.

- No, I wanna talk.

You do?

Well, all right, let's talk.

- Who goes first?

- I'll start.

You are a strange egg.

- I bet you say that to all the boys.

- I'll get it.

- Good morning. Mrs. Chandler?

- Yes.

I'm Evans from

the Angler Supply Company.

- I've bought some supplies.

- Bring them right in.

And this is Mr. Chandler.

Good morning, Mr. Evans.

I've brought everything, a complete outfit.

You'll have no trouble learning

to fish with this equipment.

No, sir. The elbow low and close.

Muscle has nothing to do with it.

It's the natural spring of the rod, sir.

Too bad I'm not fishing for curtains.

I'd be sensational.

Now suppose you break your leg,

then you can stay home.

That's what I call constructive.

I was just trying to help.

Now, a little patience, sir.

Try again. And remember...

- the elbow low and close.

- Low and close.

Bull's eye! Give the gentleman a cigar.

I don't quite seem to get it.

It's your wrist, sir.

Keep it easy and fluid...

like rippling water. This way, sir.

Darling, don't you want

to powder your nose or something?

And miss this?

Not for the world, sweetheart.

Pretend there's a 5-pound beauty

in yonder pool...

just behind the jutting boulder.

Mrs. Chandler, would you mind stepping

down here to the corner of the table...

- and bending over?

- Now I'm a jutting boulder.

I'll be a tall, spreading

tree just behind you.

Don't forget the wrist.

Remember, there's a man on second.

I know I'm never gonna get this.

I was never cut out to be an angler.

Look, this is the way I would do it.

- You did it, sir.

- I'll say he did it. And how.

That cast, sir. Why, not one angler in 50...

can master the underhand stroke.

- Underhand is right.

- You mean it's all right?

It's perfect, sir. Could you do it again?

- Not with this boulder, he can't.

- Like a backhand at tennis.

- Perfect, sir.

- Yeah?

This is what makes life worth living.

A breath of this early morning air

is worth all the medicine in the world.

Certainly is.

We're not keeping you up, are we?

Me? No. I'm always up

at the crack of dawn.

Here we are, Chandler. My favorite spot.

How do you like it?

Fine, splendid.

Very much like the Lake Taupo country,

New Zealand.

Go ahead, we'll give you the first cast.

Yes.

I tell you. I think I'll go on up the way...

where the ripples are faster

and the brush is sparser.

This is going to be good.

I still bet he can't fish.

Nonsense. He's the best-informed man

on angling I've ever met.

- Father, darling, you're a sucker.

- Now listen to me, young lady.

I know a first-class angler when I see one.

Yes, and a first-class man, too.

- If he's first-class, I'll travel steerage.

- What did you come up here for?

You had a weekend all planned in town.

I didn't want to see my favorite father

tossed to a wolf.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about that.

He's after something, and it isn't fish.

Look at those new togs.

A new rod.

Watch this.

Great guns!

I take it all back. He's good.

Good? He's magnificent.

I wish I could master that underhand cast.

I've got one.

A beauty.

So have I. I've got his brother.

Another one!

Not having much luck, are you,

Mr. Chandler?

I'm surprised you're not catching

any fish, Mr. Chandler.

It won't be long now.

I wonder if Mr. Chandler's having any luck.

Don't worry about him.

He's a real outdoor man.

Dad, look!

Walleye! He's hooked Walleye!

But he'll never land him.

He'll never land him.

Reel him. No.

Let him play. Give him some line.

Reel him out. Reel him.

Here, hold his head up.

Don't net him.

Don't net him. You did!

Boy, what a beauty.

- How'd you do it?

- I just followed the book. The hook.

Walleye. You've got Walleye.

- Who?

- Walleye.

The biggest, most elusive trout

in Glen Arden.

We've been fishing him for two years

and you got him.

- It was nothing.

- Nothing, you say?

But I'm ashamed of you, spoiling his sport

with a net.

Nine-tenths of the fun is reeling him in.

I know. I'm sorry. I was so excited.

Unhook him.

- What?

- Yes.

- Unhook him.

- Yes.

That is, no!

You invited me up here,

so you should have some of the glory.

- So you unhook him.

- I don't like to spoil your fun.

No. That's quite the contrary.

There's plenty of glory to go all around.

It's mighty sporting of you

to let me do this.

Not at all.

I think a toast is in order,

if you don't mind.

Hear, hear. To Walleye, king of trout.

How have the mighty fallen.

Undone by a Parmacheene Belle...

and I thought his weakness

was a Pink Lady.

Another batch coming up.

Say, you certainly have a way

with the griddle!

- She's a remarkable girl.

- I'm beginning to think you're right.

- I resent the understatement.

- Just a spoiled brat.

- Service.

- Yes, sir. Coming up.

Bulls eye!

Never miss. Queen of the flapjacks.

- Father?

- I must think of my figure.

A 20-minute walk, if you can spare me,

then eight hours of sleep.

- But we need help, Father.

- No more for me.

Where's my pipe? Alex?

Imagine, you and a flapjack.

How'd you ever get together?

And they laughed at me

when I sat down on the griddle.

I still think it's a trick.

Nothing in my hands.

Nothing up my sleeves.

I know. It's all done with mirrors.

Young man, there are many sides

to my nature.

Depths you'd never dream of.

- I'll make a study.

- Do.

- How'd you like a swim in the moonlight?

- Swim?

Later on. You do swim?

Yes. Almost as well as I dance.

Then you'll drown.

- Isn't it awfully cold?

- Extremely. Do you mind?

What, me mind? My intimates call me

"Polar Bear" Chandler.

We're only 20 miles from the place.

We'll be there in 45 minutes.

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