Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution Page #3

No.

No, [chuckles] like I'm not going

to write letters and stuff.

I mean, who cares? Like.

Pftt, no. No love. That just eww.

[Benny] The girl with the pink bottoms,

that's your girlfriend?

Yeah, I got the teal bottoms.

We're here to have a good time.

They don't care, we don't care.

[Benny] Does she mind if you hook up?

-No. I don't know.

-[Benny] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What does love mean to you guys?

Oh, I love her.

Yeah, me too.

I love her, but I love tits.

I'm going to chuck beads.

[Benny] Yeah, yeah.

But what does love mean?

-Love?

-[Benny] Yeah.

Love is not real. Love is not real.

It's like this fictitious thing

that society invents

-so you can have sex with someone.

-I see this. I see this.

Am I right? I'm right.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, it's that easy.

Oh.

[woman] Our generation

has given up on love, absolutely, I agree.

It's easier to find a f*** buddy

than a boyfriend.

Exactly. Oh my, God.

It's true.

[Loden] I would love to have sex with her.

Like, she beautiful,

and that's what it's all about.

Like, if you're--if you're attracted

to somebody,

it's nothing to have sex

these days, right?

Yeah, I feel like you should

just have sex. It's nothing.

[Loden] Can I just get a hug?

Can I grab that ass one time?

Like, where have you been?

Come on, it's spring break,

it's spring break.

-[woman] OK, go ahead.

-[man] I'm ready.

-[Loden] God damn.

-[woman] Oh my, God. Oh my, God.

-[man] Easy.

-We shall move on from here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, camera's on you.

Hey!

[man mumbles]

Pass the champagne.

Champagne on her shoes.

One of my really good girlfriends

that I knew for a long time,

she has this problem where she just like,

she hooks up with anybody,

and she admits it,

-and she was--

-[Loden] That's what we call a slut.

[Dakota] She was talking to me--

yeah, she's--

[Loden] She's a ho.

Yeah, she was talking to me,

like, the other day,

and she was like,

"Me and my girlfriend were talking,

and we both happened

to hook up with the same guy,

-and he texted us in the morning."

-[Loden] Eskimo sisters.

No, "He texted us in the morning

and was like,

"'Hey, I had a good time,

like it was nice to see you.'

And we sat down and talked about

what a great guy he was,

because he texted us in the morning."

And I was like, "What?"

And then, like, she was like,

"I realized how awful

that was later because, like,

every other guy we've been

hooking up with,

or like that I've been hooking

up with hadn't texted us,

had completely ignored us.

Like, they acted weird

when we came around."

And I was like, "That's wrong."

And people will completely

dismiss any emotions

that go with sex,

because it's not supposed

to matter anymore.

It's not supposed to be a big thing.

And I think that's the big difference

between the '60s sexual revolution

and now is that in the '60s,

it still had to do with emotion.

Like, even though it was free sex,

it still was about,

"Oh, I love this person,

I care about this person,

I want to, like, spend time

with this person."

But it's become a thing where

it's not about love anymore,

it's not about, like, relationships.

It's become a thing where sex

has to do with feeling good.

[Loden] Takes away all the special meaning

of sex, right?

It took away the special meaning of like,

"Oh, I fell in love with this person,

like I'm going to have sex with them.

This is something really special."

[Loden] Let me rephrase that.

Not took away the meaning of sex,

they took away the meaning of making love.

They think love doesn't exist.

It doesn't exist anymore.

-No. Not anymore

-Not anymore.

[Dakota] Not at all.

[Donna Freitas] The predominant

story about sex

in college is, you know,

we're casual about it.

So, the ideal attitude

in a hookup is whatever.

That's how you're successful at it,

because if you're whatever about it,

you can walk away and be like,

"I don't care if I ever see

that person again.

I don't care about the experience either."

So, the message people

are receiving is ambivalence

is the best attitude to have about sex.

[Caroline Heldman]

Young people in our culture

learn what it means to be a man,

what it means to be a woman,

how they're supposed

to relate to each other,

how they're supposed to have sex

from popular culture,

whether it's social media,

film, television,

pornography, their peers.

And you see this theme

of non-intimate sex, you know,

throughout every type of popular

culture that's out there,

which is a different type of sex

than the sex we used to see.

I don't care what you like

or what your name is.

And the good news is you don't

have to care about me either,

and we can still tear each other apart.

-What do you think?

-[tisks] You know what?

I'm going to say yes.

I think, yeah. Let's do this.

[Robert]

Traditionally, it has been men

who have driven that kind of culture,

men who have wanted to be

able to score without complication.

But in a hookup culture,

the big difference is...

it's not just the expectations

that men have...

of being sexually promiscuous,

but it's women actively

participating in it

and essentially accepting

those as kind of the rules

of the sexual game.

I think sex is more important

right at the beginning,

to find out what's happening,

because you don't know what's happening.

So, you like to have

the sex right away...

-Yeah.

-...and then find out, like,

you know, who are you,

Yeah...

how did you get in here?

[Donna] In a culture of casual sex,

my job is to essentially

shut down emotionally

and shut down as a person

in order to be sexually intimate with you.

I'm going to pretend like

you're not really a person,

you're just there for my pleasure.

Whether or not students

are able to actually

live this out is one thing,

but this is the message

that they're getting.

That this is sort of the ideal

for the casual encounter at college.

And so students

are working hard not to care,

they're working hard to have

meaningless sexual encounters.

Love isn't part of the college

experience anymore.

[Benny] So, of all the girls

that you guys have hooked up

with this week, how many

of them do you think

you'll stay in touch with?

I don't think we'll see anybody again

that we met this week.

-We-We're not. We're not--

-[man] We're not.

You're not--you're not going to

meet up with anyone.

-Thing is, he don't love them.

-[Benny] Shep.

-What's that?

-[Benny] How many?

Honestly, I reckon--I reckon

we might keep in touch with boys

who stayed at this site.

Oh yeah, the guys--

[Benny] No, no, no, of the girls

you hooked up with?

Oh, the girls, no.

Hang on, we need a few girls. Girls!

-He's lost without them.

-[Shay] Excuse me, girls.

[woman] Hello.

[Shay] How's it going?

[Anna] Where are you from?

[Shay] I'm from Australia.

Australia? I'm from Ohio.

[Shay] Ohio? What was your name again?

[Anna] I'm Anna.

[Shay] Anna, you're gorgeous by the way.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes