Life as a House Page #18

GEORGE:

Good morning.

Robin and George set the beam down and turn to Sam as they

both wipe sweat off their faces. Sam chews his sandwich,

ignoring them both.

ROBIN:

I'm late.

Robin walks close to Sam, trying to capture his attention.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Ryan has a game later. He asked if you'd

come and watch.

Sam glances up at his mother, just long enough to let her

know he hates her, then drops the sandwich and walks back

into the garage. A city inspector's car pulls to a stop on

the street and BOB LARSON steps out with a clipboard. Robin

passes him as she walks back to her Range Rover.

BOB:

Mr. Stevens?

GEORGE:

I've been dreading you.

Bob and George shake hands as Robin drives off.

BOB:

Bob Larson. Do you happen to have an

unenclosed toilet in close proximity to a

kitchen?

GEORGE:

A violation?

BOB:

Oh, yes.

GEORGE:

And if I enclosed it?

BOB:

An exhaust system or a window is code.

GEORGE:

A sink?

BOB:

Allowed outside the enclosed area.

Sam walks out of the garage in long pants and a shirt.

SAM:

Where is it?

GEORGE:

A friend of yours is here.

SAM:

Did you got through my pants?

GEORGE:

I might have a solution.

George grabs his chain saw and walks to the garage with Sam

and Bob in tow.

SAM:

Where'd you put it?!

INT. GARAGE - AFTERNOON

George walks to an armoire and empties it. He grabs a hammer

and bangs, pries and pulls the back off, then dumps the

cabinet onto the floor.

SAM:

I know you took it. I want it now!

George yanks the chain saw to a roar and fashions an oval cut

a few feet deep on the cabinet base. He kills the saw, lifts

the armoire and scoots it in front of the toilet.

GEORGE:

Doors.

Bob grimaces as George opens the armoire, revealing the

toilet inside.

BOB:

I hate to ask about a window.

GEORGE:

(to Sam)

I flushed it down the toilet.

SAM:

No! Oh my God!

George jerk starts the chain saw again and fashions a small

opening above the toilet, ripping through the studs, wire

mesh, tar paper and stucco - fine dust invades the space like

a storm. Bob coughs as he writes in his book. George kills

the chain saw and sets it down as he surveys his work.

SAM (CONT'D)

If I had a gun, I'd kill you.

Bob seems fairly anxious to conclude his business.

BOB:

I assume you'll fill the...uh, window,

with glass?

GEORGE:

If that's what it takes.

SAM:

What's in my pants is none of your

f***ing business!

BOB:

(a little rattled)

I would say you're in compliance.

GEORGE:

I hope that makes the pain in the ass

that called you happy.

George is staring at Sam. Bob backs out of the garage.

BOB:

You and me both.

With Bob gone, George walks to Sam and gets in his face.

GEORGE:

Everything about you is my business.

What you smoke, what you swallow, what

you sniff, it's all my business.

Sam slams his fists against his own chest, maddened.

SAM:

I've been using since I was twelve!

You're all so unbelievably stupid. You

didn't give a sh*t about anything I did

until now!

GEORGE:

I'll apologize for everything but

today...Today I give a sh*t.

SAM:

You're too f***ing late.

GEORGE:

The gloves on the table are for you.

SAM:

You can't make me do a thing.

GEORGE:

Sit down for a second.

SAM:

No.

George gently guides Sam back onto the bed. Sam hops up mad.

SAM (CONT'D)

I'll call the cops if you touch me again!

George sets Sam back onto the bed, not so gently this time.

Sam is less eager to hop up in defiance.

SAM (CONT'D)

Oh, so you're in the big sh*t now! Child

abuse. People go to prison for what you

just did to me.

GEORGE:

My dad used to play a game. I never

really understood what it was until after

he was gone.

Sam appears immensely disinterested.

SAM:

I was holding for someone. That wasn't

even mine.

GEORGE:

The game was to make me smaller than he

was. No matter what. He could be almost

invisible as a human being, but I had to

be smaller. So if I got good grades, I

was a p*ssy for not playing football. If

I cut my hair for him, it wasn't short

enough. If I shaved it, I looked like a

psycho. I never won the game. Not once.

And if he couldn't make me smaller with

words...

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